A little more levity to raise our flagging spirits?

[hyphenate]

I did this back in the fall, but it's obviously more relevant now, and I hope people will enjoy it, and take it in the spirit in which it was intended.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

The gifts in the original "12 Days" were pretty costly in their time, but there is less need for pipers piping, or maids a-milking. So what does a modern celebrator of the holiday want most nowadays? Whatever translates to the highest financial yield. So here are the gifts as re-envisioned for the 21st century, for the chic, high maintenance woman (or man!) who hungers for decadent pleasures:

On the first day of the holiday, my sweetheart gave to me

a Cadillac SUV;
two diamond rings;
three jet planes;
four Bose Waves;
five Rolex watches;
six trips to Paris;
seven Gucci handbags;
eight Aspen ski trips;
nine tropic islands;
ten van Gogh paintings;
eleven pampered poodles;
twelve New York condos.

Enjoy!

[NRaleighLiberal]

1. One of my favorite variations - Italian version, by Joe Dolce

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
A bowl full of parmesean cheese.

(we sing all the verses....but the 12 days of gifts are...)

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Twelve dishes of spaghetti and cardoons.
Eleven Mama Mias!
Ten glasses of vinos,
Nine Cousin Ginos,
Eight Uncle Tonies,
Seven canellonis,
Six pepperonis,
Five pasta fazool !!!!
Four meatballs,
Three Pizza Pies,
Two garlic cloves,
And a bowl full of parmesean cheese.

They used to play it on an FM station in Philly when I lived there during the Christmas season. I can't find a listenable mp3 on the web, but it is available on some CDs.