Christmas Is Canceled: Dick Cheney Shoots Santa In The Face

[Jeffersons Ghost]

AIR AMERICA

By Ken Kupchik
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ Narrative

On Thursday December 17, 2009, Richard Cheney, of McLean, VA was placed under arrest at the Halliburton Hunting Area after being observed discharging a rifle directly at another individual, victim Kris Kringle (aka Santa Claus). The perp claims he was hunting for caged quail. These actions on behalf of Cheney served no legitimate purpose and caused harm to an unarmed citizen.

On the above time and date, I was on uniformed duty in an unmarked police cruiser assigned to the Administration Section, working from 7:00-3:00 AM. I overheard a broadcast for a possible shooting and due to my proximity, responded.

When I arrived, I observed a portly man in a red suit with a thick white beard laying on the ground holding the side of his face with his hands. He said, "oh, oh, oh." I observed Cheney standing in the distance holding what appeared to be a shotgun close to his body. I ordered him to drop the weapon and proceeded to place him in handcuffs for everyone's safety. During this time, I observed reindeer tied to a sled attempting to hurt Cheney as he sneered and made faces at them. For his own safety I placed Cheney in my cruiser.

http://airamerica.com/really/12-17-2009/cheney-shoots-santa/