DU, I think I've just stumbled on the solution to our troubles: Pony mandates!

[girl gone mad]

This may be an idea whose time should never come, but since when has that stopped us?

No longer will you have to complain that you haven't gotten the pony you were promised!

No longer will you be mocked by others because you didn't get your pony yet!

Of course, this will have to be a My Little Pony (where do you think you are, Canada?), but that should be more than sufficient to meet your basic pony needs.



All you have to do is pay between 8% and 11% of your non-essential income to Hasbro© Corporation.

A formula based on how many hidden communist messages Glenn Beck can find in a random collection of lolcats images will be used to determine how non-essential your income actually is.



You may or may not be eligible for special pony subsidies, depending upon how awesome your state governor's hair is.

Yes, fellow Texans, we will get free ponies! (just a coincidence, I swear.)



Sorry Louisianans, I think you are going to have to pay a little extra for your pony.



If you do not want a pony or if you have no non-essential income, you will be required to pay an annual fine of up to 2% of your not non-essential income to the OMC fan club*.

What say ye, DU? Can we at least agree that the pony mandate is better than the Bush mandate? Remember how awful that guy was?



Now that we've cleared that up, we can stop talking about ponies and move on to other essential business.

But, first, please choose one of the following: President Obama is the single most amazing / most disappointing person in the history of mankind (just go ahead and circle it on your screen).

((This was intended as humor, not an endorsement of the OMC fan club.))

*unless this is a made-up organization that will never exist at any time - past, present or future - in any of the possibly infinite universes which comprise the multiverse.

[ixion]

1. yeah, ponies for all!

k/r :rofl:

[Biker13]

2. I Dunno...

I'm a big guy - I want a Clydesdale.

[Ikonoklast]

4. You can't be that big.

Ever see one up close?

Those horses aren't 'big'.

They are freaking HUGE.

But look on the bright side of not getting one...the feed bill would bankrupt you. You could name it 'Health Insurance'.

[Biker13]

5. Yeah...

My Father-In-Law had a couple that he used to drag ditches with. Old fashioned type of guy.

Anyway, I rode one bareback on a dare once. I was walking funny and speaking in falsetto for a week. I wouldn't recommend it.

[hughee99]

7. Sorry, if you want a "Clydesdale" plan, it will cost extra.

Though I think exemptions will be made for the very tall or politically connected.

[havocmom]

9. and if your employer subsidizes you cadillac Clydesdale, there is a tax applied

It is called the Happy Horseshit Clause, not be be confused with the Ranta Clause which was added to legislation to quiet anti-socialists dim bulbs who arrived on publicly paid for wagon trails but feel the need to scream about any perks others get that they might not qualify for.

[girl gone mad]

10. good news!

Clydesdales are now available.



We will have to make some revisions to the Glenn Beck communist message formula, however.

[madokie]

3. I got my pony

and I like him just fine thank you. After President Obama it will be a long, long, time before we have another white male president. And if I was a betting man I'd take bets on that. When its all said and done I will be able to say I voted for the man 3 times total. Once in the primary, twice in the general.

[NoPasaran]

6. I'm way past ponies

Unicorn or Green!

[havocmom]

8. K&R for some solid logic and brilliant illustration of the situation

And I see the boo-birds (itchy trigger finger un-reccers of all thinks clever criticism) are out this morning.

[change_notfinetuning]

11. Thank you. Beautifully done, except for the special treatment for Texas. n/t