Russians Aim to Send Monkey to Mars

[BurtWorm]

Please let it be Glenn Beck:

http://www.newser.com/story/76701/russians-aim-to-send-monkey-to-mars.html?utm_source=syn&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=sci

Robot would look after primate during 520-day round trip

By Rob Quinn| Posted 5 hours, 29 minutes ago| (Newser) – The first Earthling to reach Mars may be a Russian monkey, according to scientists at an ex-Soviet facility. The director of an institute that supplied monkeys to the Soviet space program in the '80s says the facility is in talks with Russia's Cosmonautics Academy over supplying animals for a simulated Mars mission. A real mission could follow with a robot on board to look after the monkey, he says.

The robot would feed and clean up after the monkey during the 520-day round trip. "Technicians have told us that it's not difficult to build such a robot," the institute's director tells AFP. "The hard part is teaching the monkey to live with the robot."

[ellie]

1. Why don't they just

send the robot? Poor monkey.

[NYC_SKP]

2. We have a retired Chimp. Please take him to Mars.

Please take Cheney, too.

[HopeHoops]

7. That is NOT fair to the Martians!

The Martians didn't elect Bush/Cheney - wait, neither did we. Never mind.

[SoCalDem]

3. why not just kill the monkey here on earth

:grr:

[SoxFan]

4. Ready when you are!

[YOY]

5. On red planet, monkey shines you!

n/t

[Tailormyst]

6. This is incredibly wrong.

The monkey won't survive the trip AND will be tortured along the way, both physically and mentally.

[elocs]

8. I thought there was already a monkey on Mars, Mona:

[kenny blankenship]

9. I can save them the trouble.

There are no bananas on Mars. Monkey will dance but no one will put coins in his cup. There are also no zoo gawkers to fling shit at or to masturbate in front of. The experiment will be a failure, a monkey poo encrusted failure.