10. My son, PFC Joshua is in town. I get to see him before he heads off to Iraq in a few months. I won't see him until Sunday, but he is here with his wife and two kids, and I did not even know where he was for 8 years before.
9. It was 5 years ago today that my mom went back in the hospital, after being home for a week. Power was out due to ice storm. I was home alone boiling water to keep me and the dog warm, my now X was in CA with our daughter (I didn't go so that I could be home with mom as she was due to get out of this hospital.) Mom died 5 years ago, 12/31/2004. I may be alone tonight - but mom is not suffering in the hospital, I am not out of power and freezing my butt off burning candles, boiling water, and listening to the radio.
8. My daughter Willow - have not seen her since she was two, long story, but her mom recently sent me a picture. She is a happy 11 yr old girl and doing well in school, and I got a pic of her. See #1 below.
7. My Son Nathaniel - Josh talked to him today. He is my only son whom I have not talked to in all these years. I don't even know what he really looks like, don't know what he sounds like. But he is healthy and may soon email me. A hope many years ago I didn't even have. My first Christmas without him I woke up crying after a dream of him being dead. Now I wake up knowing he is just fine.
6. My youngest son Zachary. When his mom died in 2005 and I had no idea where my kids were it was he who called my dad and found me. He hated me then, he was all of 14. Now, this Christmas, we talk several times a week. He had enlisted in the army, then dropped out of boot camp. He had since re-enlisted and is getting married. He went from hating me to loving me.
5. I will wake up alone tomorrow - but in the afternoon my daughter will be here. And I have some fun gifts for her. About a year ago we started playing a game online together after her mom and I broke up. We could not afford the 'premium' areas back then, but later I got us a membership. Tomorrow she will unwrap some great gift cards for the game, and we will go again together and explore Wizard 101. I am a grandmaster wizard there, she is a master. We have conquered all the worlds together, and tomorrow she will be buying a lot of fun new things there. She is excited, and knows I am getting her a lot for the game, I also bought her some gift cards for other games she likes (and a Snuggie lol). I will get to spend a weekend with her fighting monsters, laughing, etc.
4. I won't be hungry. My dad, brother, niece, nephew, etc, and I will all be together eating good food - turkey, oyster dressing, etc.
3. I am not homeless.
2. I have now, as I have over the years now, my friends online (most my real friends have passed on) to talk to when I am down. And if you don't think that is a big deal, well then you have not been where I have been. DU might just be one stop on the highway for some, but it has been my most important stop over the years. I know here I will have some friends to rant to that understand me.
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7309767Parents of Boy, 7, Dying of Brain Cancer Granted Christmas Wish (Story Update)
I am not one of those parents this night (or any other for that matter) whose child is dying. I have my issues, I am sad that I am no longer with my X, that I don't have a lot of the dreams of Christmas morning I once held.
But tomorrow I will wake up, and know that those kids I love are healthy.
For me each morning is a Christmas gift, because I have a Christmas gift that so many others don't have.
I'll take bad I have, a thousand times over, because I am not in some hospital right now watching my kid dying.
I'll have a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Because not matter what happens to me my kids are ok.