Let's think of better uses for Ben Nelson's toupee!

[Ken Burch]

(We'll rule out "bird's nest"...that's too easy)

I'll start with "Overcoat for your chihuahua".

[Liberal Veteran]

1. The new "stalker mop" from the Swiffer Wetjet commercials.

[jillan]

10. Lol - that's funny!

[blondeatlast]

13. I can't top that--but I will at least try.

:thumbsup:

[Lautremont]

2. Poultice for people who can't afford proper medical care.

[walldude]

3. Who the fuck would unrec this?

K&R to get you back to zero. And I say we put it under Joe Liebermans pillow and see what happens.

[havocmom]

4. blankie for kitteh

but dust for fleas and lice first (the toupee, not the cat)

[rfranklin]

6. Ah! A merkin for the pussy...

Ingenious!

[havocmom]

15. Damn, now I have an LBJ ear worm

My fellow merkins....

:banghead:

[Warpy]

5. Merkin

You know he probably needs one of those too, to hide the fact that he's hung like a Republican.

[rfranklin]

9. How dare you! He is a great 'Merkin'...

Very patriotic.

[blondeatlast]

14. You baaaad...

and I like it! :rofl:

[Skittles]

7. YES

[panader0]

8. Crotch bomber camouflage

[Mz Pip]

12. The crotchbomber

might be needing some replacement fur about now.

[Ilsa]

17. What is the etiology of that term? I looked in the Urban dictionary,

but it hasn't even been defined yet.

[Jamastiene]

22. The guy that attempted to blow up the plane recently

blew his ass end off, according to some reports. Now, people are calling him the crotchbomber.

Check the latest news for details. He got on the plane with underwear that had condoms filled with the ingredients for a bomb and somehow messed it up and had to go to the hospital.

[Maru Kitteh]

27. somehow messed it up . . .

Yes. He tried to bring down a transcontinental flight with a bomb he tucked under his testicles. How could it have gone so wrong? :rofl:

[sarge43]

11. Well, up here in glacier country, it's recommended that

if your car gets stuck in a snow bank, use the floor mats under the wheels for traction. That toupee might work just as well.

Others: Mulch for potted plants. chew toy for cat, crown a scarecrow with it, drain filter, pot scrubber.

[TwilightGardener]

16. Potholder. Teapot cozy.

[Snotcicles]

18. Stunt double for Punxsutawney Phil. nt

[bullwinkle428]

19. Use in the sequel for "Anchorman : The Legend of Ron Burgundy"!

[juno jones]

20. That's a toupee?

I just thought he always wore a live rat on his head.

[Ken Burch]

24. He was too cheap to buy rat food, so he SHOT the damn thing.

Easier to keep it in place that way.

[juno jones]

26. So that accounts for the smell!

[Ken Burch]

28. No, that's just how Nelson ALWAYS smells.

n/t.

[blondeatlast]

21. It's a beta version of a camouflage tinfoil hat, you know. The designers struggle on

to make it look semi-natural.

[Jamastiene]

23. Sidekick in a new reality series with Donald Trump's rug.

They could go shopping for shampoo together.

:hide:

[IndianaGreen]

25. Set it on fire so that we can roast chestnuts.