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Official story: The West-Hating son of a Nigerian banker contacted a radical imam who hooked him up with Al Qaeda's top bombmaker. The top bombmaker built him a special set of underwear with 80 grams of the high explosive PETN, plus an oxidizing agent that would set it off, and put him on a plane from Amsterdam to Detroit. The wouldn't-be terrorist attempted to set off the PETN, making several little firecracker-like pops. A Dutch video editor tackled the guy, disarmed him and dragged him to the front of the plane, where he was restrained until the plane landed and police arrived to put him in jail.
What's wrong here?
1. Everyone who's getting ready to celebrate New Year's Day by setting off firecrackers can do this experiment pretty easily. Get two firecrackers and a sock full of something like dried beans. Light both firecrackers and set the sock on one of them. The one in "free air" will just make a harmless and entertaining bang. The sock will be torn to shit. Explosives have to be contained somehow to develop their full potential--drill a hole, cover them up, tape them with duct tape, something. The genius bomber pulled down his pants so he could get to the bag of explosives easier. This means one of two things happened: the AQ top bomb maker forgot to tell the guy he had to keep his pants up--if he was wearing tight pants he MIGHT have had enough confinement to properly initiate the charge--or he was told and ignored it.
(At this point I'm trying to keep anyone from getting stupid, because as we all know you can set off a firecracker in your open hand and just get burned, but if you clench your fingers around it they'll get mangled. Mangled fingers suck, dude.)
2. PETN requires two sources of energy to explode--heat and pressure. A blasting cap provides both. Just setting it on fire won't. Maybe the genius was supposed to light the shit on fire then slap it with his hand once it was burning. Anyway, it's a stupid plan.
3. Assume he DID get it to explode. They seated him right over the fuel tank. We can only guess that the Mad Bomber was going to make this big explosion that would detonate the nearly-empty fuel tank--lots of fumes in there, and they're flammable--which would fireball the plane. This 200-ton fireball would have barreled into the airport and caused even more bedlam. Now for reality: between the 80-gram explosive charge--which in reality isn't much--and the fuel tank you would find:
the bomber's scrotum the seat he's in about a foot of free air between the seat and the floor the aluminum floor structure another foot of free air
Which means this small charge (which wasn't contained and, therefore, hasn't reached its fullest potential) has to blow the guy's nuts off which requires energy to do, through the energy-absorbing padded seat, then through the energy-dissipating air, the energy-reflecting floor and the energy-dissipating air under the floor (and that's not to count the insulation which is almost certainly there) before it even gets to the very durable gas tank. A number-ten envelope full of high explosives isn't enough to deal with the problem. Now if he'd have had an artillery shell he could have done it, but what's the odds of even the stupidest security screener looking at this asshat who's got an eight-inch howitzer round shoved down his drawers and asking, "is that a bomb in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
4. I don't think I'm real good at searching. I used Google, AltaVista, Bing, HotBot, Dogpile...you search on "radical imam" and only get stories about this incident. These guys don't have websites! How the hell do you apply for a job as a terrorist over the internet? I went to CareerBuilder and told it I wanted to be a terrorist. Nope, no jobs like that exist--however, UBS Financial Services is looking for a Money Laundering Prevention Analyst. That sounds pretty sweet.
All right, I've ridiculed enough. I see three scenarios here. First is that an American conservative or group of them set the guy up--gave him a "bomb" that wouldn't work, sent him to a place where they knew he'd get busted quick, then saturate Faux News with RW talking head after RW talking head until all America knows they're on the verge of death with Obama in office. I don't think they're clever enough to actually do this, but maybe.
Scenario 2: Al Qaeda's top bombmaker thought this shit would work. We'll call this top bombmaker "Boris Badenov." Obviously he's too stupid to make a good bomb, which is why they have to fly airplanes into shit to cause any substantive damage. Maybe he's Osama's brother-in-law? Put this one after the Republican one in the order of probability.
Scenario 3 (which I think is most likely): The underpants bomber showed up saying he was gonna get him a shotgun and kill all the whities he sees. "O shit...if we don't do something he's going to get us all thrown in jail." So they gave him a bomb that wouldn't work and sent him to the most highly defended area in the world, where he got busted before he even got to the airport.
I think if AQ was really interested in blowing up a plane in flight they could figure out a way to do it. But instead they try this. I don't think so.
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