PROGRAM ALERT: GOP to Run ‘Encore Performances’ of Opinions, Talking Points

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Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele announced this morning that the GOP, its members and affiliates, will suspend offering new opinions and talking points for what he described as “the duration of the current crisis”. Instead, he said, “Republicans will offer encore presentations of many of their most popular opinions and talking points from the past year.”

“At this time, all of our thoughts and prayers are with Rush (Limbaugh) who we are grateful to hear is resting comfortably in a Honolulu hospital after experiencing chest pains. While our mentor, our hero, and, for many among us, our ‘man-crush’ is recovering, we will continue to repeat past opinions and talking points. We will resume our normal routine as soon as Rush is well enough to resume his.”

When asked by a reporter if the GOP would emphasize the threat of terrorism during the 2010 campaign, Steele responded, “Right now, our thoughts, our prayers, and any ideas we might have had lie with Rush. Until this crisis has passed, none of us will have any comment about anything of substance.”

When reached for comment outside a Cincinnati tanning salon, House Minority Leader John Boehner told reporters, “It’s all Pelosi’s fault.” When pressed to elaborate, ‘The Bronze Clod’ responded, “First of all, right now my thoughts and prayers are with Rush Limbaugh. Beyond that, all I have to say is that I hope the New Year and the next decade will bring more tax cuts, less government between hard working Americans and their Medicare, and an SPF-15 that really does moisturize.