When Ted Kennedy died and went to heaven...

[JohnnyRingo]

He was met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter for a personal guided tour.

Peter took the senator on a stroll around the heavens showing him the fine amenities befitting a man who spent his mortal life helping those less fortunate than himself. St Peter took him past the yacht club where a fleet of sailboats awaited his use on a moment's notice, and gave him his country club pass where he had perpetual tee times scheduled about his whim to shoot 18 holes any time the urge struck him. Peter pointed out that in his heavenly form, Kennedy could spend eternity enjoying all the pastimes he enjoyed on Earth without fear of injury or weariness.

The late senator, who was overcome by the red carpet treatment he was receiving, finally asked about his family. Admitting he'd saved the best for last, St Peter escorted Kennedy to a large tent where a surprise party was being held in his honor. There he was greeted by Bobby, Jack, Ethel, MLK, Wellstone, and countless others he'd worked so hard with in the past. A tear streaked down his rosy cheek as Kennedy realized he had truly arrived in heaven.

After several hours of recounting historical anecdotes with his old friends and family over consequence-free drinks and cigars, Ted felt a once familiar urge come over him. Seeking out St Peter among the many guests, Kennedy leaned in close and informed him that he didn't know what to expect with his new heavenly body, but it seemed he had to relieve himself in a most urgent way.


Understanding immediately, the Saint led Kennedy out through a back door to a small but very ornate outhouse. As soon as the door closed behind him, the senator popped his head back out with a look of true alarm on his face. "Uhh Pete, I can see down through the facility, and ahh, there are people down there!". "Oh, don't worry about that" replied St Peter. "That's just the Republican mess hall".

[sharesunited]

1. In heaven, party affiliations no longer matter. The truth is readily apparent to all.

[JohnnyRingo]

2. I'll remember that if I ever pen a deep theological study.

For the sake of a joke however, I prefer to think I won't have to hobnob with an enlightened Strom Thurmond.

[spanone]

4. i'm with ya, JR

[sharesunited]

6. Picture an enlightened Strom Thurmond with everyone you disagree with.

You want to win them and not piss on them.

If you piss on them, you will have to apologize if you eventually win them.

[spanone]

8. i would unapologetically piss on them.....and take good aim too.

[gratefultobelib]

3. Sounds about right to me! Good cartoon, too!

[Autonomy]

5. I lulzed, thanks

[Sebastian Doyle]

7. Outhouses in Heaven?

You would think God would have indoor plumbing by now? :evilgrin:

[zbdent]

10. don't you think that the shit would smell heavenly???

[liberal N proud]

9. LOL

Good one

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. I think it might have been a Piers Anthony book (not sure, been so long) that had

people wearing rosy glasses while eating at a feast, but to the observer who wasn't wearing glasses it was clear they were eating garbage. Your post instantly made me think of that.

[Electric Monk]

15. Incarnations Of Immortality series, but I forget which book

Possibly more than one, since that series was so intertwined.

[Lavender Brown]

12. Ethel Kennedy is still alive (I think)

:hi:

[JohnnyRingo]

14. Oops

[dancingme]

13. Ethel is not dead

She is alive. Jackie, Pat, Rosemary, Eunice, Kathleen and Joe are dead.

[denem]

16. I doubt that Ted lingered long in the mansions of glory ...

Walking down from the hills towards the settlements, he was greeted by the sick, the forgotten, the impoverished, & all the people who in life, who were subjects of hatred, discrimination and contempt.

For once he did not have to give a speech about injustice, tragedy and war. He said, "Blessed are the poor, theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven".

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[Fire_Medic_Dave]

19. I wonder if St. Pete brought up Chappaquiddick.

[proteus_lives]

20. Shhh!

DU only wants to hear about Laura Bush's car-related fatalities.

[JohnnyRingo]

21. Joke Much?

I mean if a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist walk into a bar, I guess there's always some guy on a stool pointing out that they aren't supposed to be there drinking.