An employee of mine told me today he has cancer

[HBravo]

he had been wanting to talk to me for the past few weeks about something personal but the timing was never right for him. He was to have surgery at the end of the month but they moved it up to this Sat. I was devastated when he told me. When you here the word "cancer" you think death sentence but I recovered and called someone I knew who went through the same surgery last year. This person left work and came out to talk to my employee about what he went through and what to expect. I was so happy that this person was willing to give up work to help out. He does not have to worry about insurance I have seen fit to that. Nor does he have to worry about a job. I am so thankful that this other person was willing to help as it set my employee a little at ease (I do not know how you can be a ease with such a thing.)

I know that I am new to the DU and I do not feel like I should post (nor worthy of posting) but I just wanted to get this out as I am troubled.

[peacebird]

1. You sound like a wonderful caring person! I am glad you were able to

give your employee insurance, AND it was truly special that you were able to help set his mind at ease by talking with a fellow survivor. :hug:

thank you for sharing! We can all use a positive post, and your good heart is positive indeed!

[HBravo]

5. Thank you.

I wish there was more that I could do.

[Demoiselle]

2. I'm glad you've insured him, HBravo. Welcome.

[panader0]

3. Good on you------rec'd

[gateley]

4. He is lucky to have such a wonderful employer! And for you to call your

friend to talk to him is so compassionate.

Not worthy of posting? Are you Catholic? :7 Pshaw! Post away!

And a very warm welcome to DU! :hi:

[HBravo]

7. No I am not Catholic "guilt" ha ha

and the person I contacted is about as far right as you can get but he said that he would do anything to help. He gave him his home phone number and cell and offered to pick him and give him a ride and was going to get some info. to help him through this. This has restored my faith in people in general.

[gateley]

29. The Catholic prayer before communion begins "Lord, I am not worthy..."

And I actually used to say it in Latin years ago!

Well I'm not surprised that you're friends with such a caring person, since you're obviously very caring yourself. He sounds wonderful!!

Hoping for the best for your employee!

[HBravo]

32. Thank you, from a Lutheran.

I can not believe all the responses I got. I just wanted to vent as I was so troubled but this is not about me.

[gateley]

33. And you made it to the Greatest Page! So see? Post away! And PS:

I'm no longer a Catholic -- haven't been in years, but that training (12 years of Catholic school) never leaves you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. A warm welcome to DU, my dear HBravo!

Your compassion towards your employee is very notable...

And now you have a star...

Enjoy!

[HBravo]

23. I just read my mail box

I didn't know what you meant by a "Star" I really do not know what to say. Thank you!!!!!!!:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

30. It was truly my pleasure.

I hope you will enjoy the many things it will allow you to do.

You're welcome!

:hug:

[HBravo]

31. I look forward to it. Again Thank you!

Major big:hug:

[gateley]

34. That was so sweet, Peggy! And well deserved -- good job! nt

[crim son]

8. Your concern and actions prove you are more worthy of posting

than a vast number of DUers, HBravo. Welcome. I hope your employee fares well.

[HBravo]

9. Thank you

And I hope and pray everything turns out ok.

[alstephenson]

10. You sound like a very compassionate person.

You and your posts are welcome here. And we are here for you when you "just want to get it out".

[HBravo]

11. I am very touched by all the responses but

please this is not about me.

[Lerkfish]

12. my advice, don't act any differently towards him than you used to

when I told my coworkers I had testicualr cancer, they all treated me like a leper except for a couple of guys I had not realized were really friends. My closest friend never spoke to me again.

[HBravo]

16. WOW

I am sorry for your experience. I only told him (after he told me he wanted to come back to work after the surgery) that I would only follow the doctors orders as he does not need to do anything to harm his recovery.

[grace0418]

52. Gosh, that's awful. My husband's coworker and friend had testicular cancer and

his group of friends treat him the same as all the other guys, which is hilariously terrible. The group consists of two Filipinos, an African-American, a Jew (who was the one with cancer), a gay guy, and an older guy with hearing aids. They every non-PC insult and nickname at one another that you can imagine (including "One Ball"), and laugh their butts off about it. I don't think any of them would have it any other way.

I'm sorry Lerkfish. I guess you learned who your real friends are. :hug:

[Lerkfish]

57. oh, I could have handled good natured ribbing

my best friend just acted like we never met and never talked to me again. in about 4 years I left that job and he did not even say goodbye.

I think it scared him in some way. No shit, it scared ME in some way, too!

[madmax]

60. I can relate to that

Had the same experience with my friends. What is up with that??? Cancer isn't contageous! I'm in remission and feel more alive than I ever have.

To HBravo - you're a helluva boss. I wish your employee the best of luck and and good health. :hug:

[notadmblnd]

13. I'm glad that there are people out there that have good bosses like you

so many don't.

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. I am so sorry. I hope your employee will be ok! Thank goodness he doesn't

have lack of insurance or a job to worry about too.

[malaise]

15. Here's a hug for you and your employee

:grouphug:

[HBravo]

17. Thank you to all

the responses are mind blowing.

[Born_A_Truman]

18. Welcome to DU HBravo

You are a caring individual!

[AlienGirl]

19. Lots of survivors nowadays! What kind of cancer does he have?

Good on you for agreeing to keep him employed despite the illness, and welcome to DU!

Tucker, six years in remission

[HBravo]

20. Thyroid cancer

The person I contacted said that if you are to get cancer that this is the one to get. (News to me) My only concern is that my employee had a lump (non visible) on his neck for years. I hope that it has not spread.

6 years in remission. wow. Thank you. This really means a lot.

[AlienGirl]

21. Tell him to avoid radiation to the head or neck if at all possible!

Radiation treatment for oral cancer has left me permanently damaged. (I was 28 at diagnosis, btw.)

Tucker

[HBravo]

22. This other person told him that

he would receive a radiation pill that would attack the area after his immune system had dropped and that would be the only radiation he would get. (Sorry I am only repeating what I heard as I know nothing about this.)

[gateley]

35. True! I had thyroid cancer! I almost passed out when they told me but my

endo said it was one of the slowest growing cancers. Surgery was a snap, and with thyroid meds, I'm feeling MUCH better than I did for a long time before the diagnosis.

I had a VISIBLE lump on my neck for years -- a goiter. Is that the bump your employee has, do you know?

This is kind of like the melanoma I had, in that if you get it all, you've pretty much got it beat. My surgery was 20 years ago, and I'm fine.

[HBravo]

37. I am so naive on this topic but I am learning thanks to

the members of the DU and Web MD. Thank you to all. He didn't have a visible lump, it was under the shirt collar and then you could only see it if he lifted his head and back. It only was about a inch lump that you could see. He said that the size was about 3 inch's by 2 inch's and around his vocal cords. My friend's was also around his vocal cords and he now only has half his voice box but he doesn't sound any different. (I do not understand this but the human body is amazing.) My concern is about how long he has had it. He said he knew about it for a long time. Has it spread? I guess we will have to wait and see.

[gateley]

39. Again, it's one of the slowest moving cancers, and I had mine (lump) for years,

although not around my vocal chords. And you're right - the body is incredible in its ability to heal and adapt.

Keep us informed how he's doing!

[HBravo]

42. I will and thank you for your input and support from all

I will tell him about all of this tomorrow. I am sure I will embarrass him but so be it. He is very proud almost to a fault. I am going to sleep now so good night to all. One question to you 'gateley' after 20 years how are you doing? Did you have any more problems? Do you worry about it? (Ok sorry I know that is more than one question. I now know what my friend said that everyone around him was freaking out and he was just taking it one day at a time.):)

[gateley]

46. No -- no problems at all. Actually, I didn't have any real symptoms other

than feeling fatigued and weak all the time. If a friend hadn't said 'it's your thyroid' I probably wouldn't have gone do an endocrinologist and would have attributed it to my junky diet. I felt fine after the surgery. My neck wasn't sore (they removed the entire thyroid), there wasn't any real pain, and all I do these days is take my thyroid medication. It's different for everyone, though, and I don't want to give the impression that it'll necessarily go as smoothly for your employee. It's just my personal experience -- but a good one is better than a horror story. :7 At this point I don't worry about it at all. I also had melanoma and I don't worry about that, either. For having had cancer twice, I've been really lucky.e

[MissDeeds]

24. You're a good soul, HBravo

Your employee is very fortunate to have you as an employer and a friend.

And we're very lucky to have you here at DU. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. Best of luck to your employee.

K&R

:grouphug:

[Pied Piper]

25. I just wanna chime in here

I'm a long time lurker and rarely post, but you rate right at the top for me. Your actions in response to your employee's cancer is right on the mark. You are the kind of people that makes all of us proud to be human!

[HBravo]

27. Thank you but this is about him and not me I just wanted to

vent.

[StarfarerBill]

26. Thanks for telling us this, HB, and welcome! Your compassion is inspiring.

:)

[seabeyond]

28. i love when people help one another. it is the best. thank you for sharing. nt

[Liberal_in_LA]

36. +200

[varelse]

38. Welcome to DU

It is an honor to have you with us :)

[DainBramaged]

40. Wow, a human boss, will you adopt me please.

Kudos, just amazing and selfless.

[nightrain]

41. thanks for telling us. I hope he does well. Thanks for caring.

[Maat]

43. Remember, Coach Brian Schottenheimer, of the NFL, had it ...

Marty's son (I'm a Charger season ticket holder, that's how I know). He's been fine for a few years now. He's been coaching for Baltimore (I forget)?. And, I know another survivor, who is a friend, and who has been fine for years.

You're a wonderful employer. Sending good thoughts and prayers into the Universe!

[Exultant Democracy]

44. If only more employers were cut from your cloth.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

45. Just a bit of advice.

I have no idea what kind of business you are in but.... My wonderful city puts people on FMLA if they miss 5 consecutive working days. If they miss 30 their health insurance is transferred to COBRA. I hope you don't have to deal with anything like this but if you do you should make yourself familiar with the rules and the legal steps you can take to make sure your friend stays insured.

[Shanti Mama]

47. Thyroid Cancer??? Get a second and third opinion, pronto!

http://www.drdach.com/Thyroid_Nodules.html

Please read the whole page. I know someone who was diagnosed, read this and changed her course of action. She's fine. Maybe your employee is in the same situation.

[madmax]

67. Thanks for posting this link. n/t

[Mithreal]

48. Don't question your worthiness, ever. Please and thank you.

[DailyGrind51]

49. Tell him that this poster was diagnosed and treated nearly 30 years ago,

and, following surgery and chemo, has remained cancer free. There IS life after cancer!

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

50. Now watch happens to your group premiums next year

I applaud you and as an employer you are doing the right and ethical and moral thing by supporting and retaining your employee. But now watch what happens to your group rate on your next renewal. Please report back.

I also worked for a small and ethical employer who had several employees and/or spouses encounter catastrophic illnesses. The group rates went through the roof - to the extent that some people dropped out of the group because they found they could get better coverage privately. Naturally, these were the younger, healthier people, so this made the reamining group even older on the next renewal. You get the idea. Everyone staying in stayed in because they literally had no other option.

I have read that what sometimes happens in cases like these, is that the employer discovers who is the culprit using the expensive treatments, chemo, physical therapies, etc. You can imagine that if it was a spouse, the employer may not know. What I have read is that while HIPPA (medical privacy act) covers MEDICAL offices, practioners, etc. it DOES NOT cover insurers who may disclose to an employer what specifically is happening in a group.(I wish anyone who might have actual knowlege if this does or not occur would comment) Then, if the employer IS NOT an ethical, moral entity, suddenly that sick person or the person with the sick family member suddenly starts getting negative reviews, bad hours, too many hours, too little hours, etc. in an effort to purge the person from the payroll.

Much of the age bias that exists in the employment marketplace can be laid soley at the door of what hiring older employees does to benfit costs for a company. Age discrimination is horrendous and outrageous now without reform and it will still be just as horrendous and outrageous under the proposed current reform. The defenders will tell you the age bias can "only" be a factor of 3, 4, or 5 (different proposals) and that it currently is far more. So what? Does it really matter if you're priced out at a lower or a higher ratio? You're still priced out regardless. It doesn't matter if the price of a Porsche is 70K or 120K - you can't afford it either way.

No age bias, no pre condition bias, reduction in costs, affordable meds = Single Payer, the only system that works, is fair and makes sense. Why is America willing to settle for less than the rest of the world?

It's like someone took the phrase "Less is More" and applied it to healthcare and then marketed it successfully to the American Idiotcracy.

[inna]

54. Well said!

"No age bias, no pre condition bias, reduction in costs, affordable meds = Single Payer, the only system that works, is fair and makes sense. Why is America willing to settle for less than the rest of the world?

It's like someone took the phrase "Less is More" and applied it to healthcare and then marketed it successfully to the American Idiotcracy."

[BlancheSplanchnik]

51. It's certainly clear why you're a Progressive!

Not that the far-Right guy who helped is a terrible person! :P

I mean, it seems that true Progressives want to improve "the Human Condition" (animals and the planet included)--it's part of their character-- however they can, while Right-ists can be very giving and helpful, but only to those within their "tribe" (and even close family may not be in "that Tribe", depending on their behavior and whether it offends the Right-ist).

Anyway, your concern and real action taken on the part of your employee is beautiful. May its influence ripple out to many others.

[grace0418]

53. Healing vibes to your employee, and a pat on the back to you.

You are the kind of boss most people wish they had. Unfortunately, you are rare, which is why I'm my own boss now.

[MissMillie]

55. You just keep on posting

And try not to let this trouble you. You are doing what you can for your employee and I'm sure he knows that and appreciates it.

[Robyn66]

56. WELCOME TO DU! My story is similar to yours only with me as the employee

Many of you know Raven on DU, well I am blessed by having her for a boss and a dear dear friend. She was right there with me and my family from the first abnormal mammogram all the way through treatment and beyond. I can tell you it is such a huge thing to be able to focus on getting well and not having to worry about losing your job!!

Bosses like you should be thanked and valued because what you do is rare and WONDERFUL!!!!!

Robyn

[yellerpup]

58. You are worthy!

And good, and smart, and just the kind of boss people WISH they had when they are troubled. You have great friends, too! K&R! :hug:

[avaistheone1]

59. Welcome to DU.

Thanks for being a good boss.

[spin]

61. Welcome to DU. Your post is INDEED worthy. (n/t)

[JDPriestly]

62. DU is a community. Welcome.

I wish the very best to you and your employee.

[TygrBright]

63. Props, HBravo!

Yes, it's not about you, and I will certainly hold your smployee and those who love him in the Light.

And props to your RW friend who is willing to reach out to others... perhaps someday he'll make the connection between that and how we shape our society through the government we choose and ITS actions. Even if he never does, he's clearly got a heart in the right (ooo, pun!) place.

But your attitude toward this reminds me of how people USED to treat employees, back when the success of a business depended on things like employee loyalty, low turnover costs, building good will with customers by having them deal with the same people over a long time, etc.

It sounds as though you care about your employees and your customers-- by those standards your business deserves stellar success, and I hope that's what you get.

appreciatively,
Bright

[tomm2thumbs]

64. truly proof that the best prayer is action

warmest thoughts and kudos to you

[JaneFordA]

65. So very glad you posted!

I sure wish MORE employers were like you! GOOD FOR YA!

[Javaman]

66. Cheers to you!

And by the way, everyone is worthy of posting.

[fascisthunter]

68. That's Pretty Cool of You

[Vidar]

69. Well done & recommended.

[shireen]

70. you're a good person

not many employers have your level of compassion and understanding.
I wish him well, hope he recovers soon.

[defendandprotect]

71. Sad news . . . but so good to hear of your personal caring support for this employee ---

and needless to say, your providing insurance --

Best wishes to you all --

[winyanstaz]

72. thank you and thank you to your friend for helping this person.