A Saudi woman courts controversy by fantasizing about polyandry

[ccharles000]

It's scandalous for a Saudi woman to publicly voice a sense of entitlement to equal rights -- but sexual rights in particular? Now, that -- that will bring her a lawsuit, threats, slander and infamy. Such is the case for female journalist Nadine Bedair, who recently penned an article for the Egyptian daily newspaper Al Masry Al Youm titled, "My Four Husbands and I." Mmhm: "My Four Husbands." You hardly have to read beyond the headline to forecast the shitstorm ahead -- but, of course, you'd be missing out on her delightfully daring indictment of polygamy if you didn't.

"Allow me to choose four, five or even nine men, just as my wildest imagination shall choose," Bedair writes. "I'll pick them with different shapes and sizes, one of them will be dark and the other will be blond." Now them's some fighting words. A common defense of polygamy within Islam is that it rescues widows and divorcees from their unfortunate plight by allowing men to welcome multiple women into their homes. But Bedair doesn't buy it: "I have long questioned why it is men have a monopoly on this right. No one has been able to explain to me convincingly why it is I'm deprived of the right to polyandry."

To those who argue that as a woman she "can't handle more than one man physically," she says: "Women who cheat on their husbands and the 'sellers of love' do much more." Translation: Not only are women physically capable of handling more than one man, but, well, many of them would like to. She doesn't stop there: Even if a woman is faithful, it isn't for a lack of sexual frustration, says Bedair. "In fact, she might have not felt one ounce of pleasure since the very first night of this arranged marriage. But traditions and the clerics force her to stay at home and shut up." She ends her article by arguing that either both men and women should be allowed to take multiple spouses or the "map of marriage" needs to be redrawn from scratch.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2010/01/05/saudi_polygamy/index.html

[dorktv]

1. I always wondered why it was okay to have more wives then husbands.

[Double T]

2. Fundamentalist Islamic male nutcases will be out to kill this women for her..........

thoughts and ideas. Come to think of it the fundamentalist Christian male nutcases might be right behind them.

[Lilith Velkor]

3. Now that takes guts.

I sort of agree with what she said in the article - I think marriage should be either completely abolished or open to any number and any mix of genders. (I've always wanted to have three husbands and a wife, even though the probability of me having even one spouse is roughly equal to the probability of me getting hit by lightning on the way to 7-Eleven to cash in a winning lottery ticket.)

I don't think economic discrimination against single people is in any way OK, though.

[The Doctor.]

4. What kind of woman would want to live that kind of nightmare?

Just sayin'

:shrug:

[seabeyond]

5. the same kind of man that would want four wives? nt

[comtec]

6. I can think of at least one guy i'd like to marry...

I just hope my wife likes him too :)

Poly contracts would be a complicated thing. however I wonder if it would do more for the "institution of marriage" than the current system buy allowing people to be open to more possibilities?

Nah, knowing the average person, it would all just go to hell.

Even if poly was made somehow legal, you'd have to be sure to put enough hoops of fire to jump through, so that it would still be special instances only. After all I don't think I could have handled the idea when i was 20.

[seabeyond]

7. i just would not see any reason to marry, if that was what we were looking at.

i was perfectly happy single and playing. seems about what this would be.

[comtec]

13. There is one person, I truly would love to have in my life in this way

That is, TWO people.
I guess the idea is appealing because of the legal protections, etc, that are extended with "marriage".
There are plenty of couples where one or both partners have their own partner, and/or share a "third".
I can only think of one person who I would trust and care enough for to be our 'third'.
And I suppose that's the point.
Who do you want to open yourself up to completely like you have in a marriage?
To trust to completely that being or hurting will happen, even if it's not meant, but knowing that person loves you and didn't mean to.

Poly is one of those things that seems great from the outside, but when you go more into it, it's rife with peril of the heart.

LOL of course that's all theoretical.
As you know my first is falling apart around my ears so i'll just bow out of this conversation with, if men are allowed, women should be allowed. Fair is Fair.

[The Doctor.]

9. Yes, with *average* persons it most certainly would.

I can tell you with some understanding that if any of the individuals are not very above average in emotional and particular philosophical development, it will invariably turn into a leverage game. People with insecurities should never engage in that kind of adult rapport... it ruins it for everyone.

But when we're all fun-loving adults... hey? Who's to complain?

:party:

[seabeyond]

11. you suggest a woman couldnt possibly want this experience, yet then embrace

the experience.... putting those that participate "above average"?

[The Doctor.]

15. First, for the humor impaired;

Suggesting that being married to several men would be 'hell' was tongue-in-cheek, and a commentary on MEN.

Second, those that engage in multiple partnerships must be emotionally and psychologically mature for it to work.

That does not mean that those that do not, are not.
If a man or a woman is mature enough, they can handle any type of relationship be it monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, or whatever.


I'm not sure what else you're trying to read into this.

[seabeyond]

16. i was not trying to 'read" anything into it. seeing a contradiction, i asked

so i wouldnt read anything into it without info.

thanks for clarification

i agree with all your post

[The Doctor.]

18. It took me a few minutes, but I see what you were talking about.

The link between 'not being mature' and going through hell with four guys.

I did have to turn my screen a little though. :P

[seabeyond]

21. actually it was more, not being with four guys

and then promoting it as positive, "above normal"

and having a profile that isnt gender specific. lol

and then if that is too vague.

saying women, why would they want four men. but being a man, it is a good thing to have four women.

[proteus_lives]

23. Not this man, that's for sure.

I've always been skeptical on the idea of multiple partners. Different strokes for different folks if everyone is consenting but I have my doubts about being able have the same level of feelings for different people.

Plus, the OP's system is inherently unequal to women. They should be allowed more husbands if they wish.

I've been in seriously relationships with all the good points and bad. The bad parts times 4? No thank you.

[seabeyond]

25. The bad parts times 4? No thank you.

boo yah. lol lol

even the good times 4 doesnt make light of that, does it. lol

i see no point. one.... is too much work. lovely. grand. good.... but boy howdy, works for me.

[leftynyc]

8. I hope she's armed

Cuz the clerics and their followers are going to be gunning for her.

[The Doctor.]

10. Hope she has other forms of protection as well.

Unless by 'armed' you mean 'drives to work in a tank'.

[leftynyc]

12. Whatever it takes to keep her safe

She has put a bullseye on herself by speaking out. Tough lady - she has my admiration.

[Javaman]

14. I'm all for it, as long as my wife marries a plumber, electrician, carpenter and a a/c repair man.

:rofl:

[hayu_lol]

17. The only country that allows Polyandry is...

Nepal. Not certain of the arrangement, but believe it is common for a woman to marry brothers.

Geez, this concept might go over big in Utah.

Many of the multiple wives throughout Islam are very young, the newer wives being essentially slaves for the senior wives.

[The Doctor.]

19. Actually, how about a billionaire instead... that might work out.

:think:

[Javaman]

22. Damn, didn't think of that.

:banghead:

[dugaresa]

20. How soon before some offended cleric calls for her death because she dares to write

a critical essay about the current state of affairs in her own country.

I am trying to find the article in English right now to read it completely.

[Fleshdancer]

24. Brave woman. May she stay safe and keep writing. n/t