Roger Ebert's Journal: "I mentioned that I can no longer eat or drink..."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Nil by mouth

By Roger Ebert

January 6, 2010 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (288)

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/01/nil_by_mouth.html



I mentioned that I can no longer eat or drink. A reader wrote: "That sounds so sad. Do you miss it?" Not so much really. Not anymore. Understand that I was never told that after surgery I might lose the ability to eat, drink and speak. Eating and drinking were not mentioned, and it was said that after surgery I might actually be able to go back to work on television.

Success in such surgery is not unheard of. It didn't happen that way. The second surgery was also intended to restore my speaking ability. It seemed to hold together for awhile, but then, in surgeon-speak, also "fell apart."

A third surgery was attempted, using a different approach. It seemed to work, and in a mirror I saw myself looking familiar again. But after a little more than a week, that surgery failed, too. Blood vessels intended to attach the transplanted tissue lost function, probably because they had been weakened by radiation. A fourth surgery has been proposed, but I flatly reject the idea. To paraphrase a line from "Adaptation's" orchid collector: "Done with surgery."

During that whole period I was Nil by Mouth. Nobody said as much in so many words, but it gradually became clear that it wouldn't ever be right again. There wasn't some soul-dropping moment for that realization. It just...developed. I never felt hungry, I never felt thirsty, I wasn't angry because the doctors had done their best. But I went through a period of obsession about food and drink. I came up with the crazy idea of getting some Coke through my g-tube. My doctors said, sure, a little, why not? For once the sugar and a little sodium wouldn't hurt. I even got some tea, and a little coffee, before deciding that caffeine addiction was something I didn't need.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

1. + & -

:thumbsup: for the spirit
:thumbsdown: for the affliction

[jillan]

2. I had no idea he was going thru all this. Sad. :(

[Liberal_in_LA]

10. Ironic that both of them (Siskel and Ebert) get illnesses that affect their ability to speak

Siskel, before he died, has trouble speaking.

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Wow. What he has been through.

[Odin2005]

4. Holly crap! I didn't even know Ebert was going though that!

:(

[mnhtnbb]

5. What surgery? He doesn't mention the purpose of the surgery and I don't know his story. Anybody?

[MorningGlow]

6. Thyroid cancer

An older story about it: http://thyroid.about.com/b/2008/04/02/thyroid-cancer-survivor-and-film-critic-roger-ebert-fights-to-speak-again-in-video-interview.htm

My dad lived for a year without a stomach (stomach cancer)--didn't eat at all, got everything through a feeding tube directly into the small intestine (where nutrients are absorbed--the stomach is only for breaking down food). Moments before he died he asked my mother for a cup of coffee and a cookie. It was his favorite thing in the world, to sit at the kitchen table reading the paper, drinking coffee and eating cookies.

[mnhtnbb]

7. Thanks. Sorry about your dad. Ebert mentions the social ritual

of dining, and it seems a similar, comforting action for your dad. He must have had a very strong sense
of home while he was reading the paper at the kitchen table, eating cookies and drinking coffee.

[closeupready]

21. Thanks for sharing your dad's story.

:cry: for him and for Ebert and anyone else with this cancer.

[Warpy]

8. Amazing what people can go through without letting anyone know

while they still manage to keep working at what they know best.

He can smell his brandy and then dump it into that g-tube, too, but I'm betting he's pretty much over the whole idea.

I just hope the cancer is gone completely. I'd hate to lose him so soon.

[Hekate]

11. I had a similar thought about coffee: I'd want to be able to at least rinse my mouth with it...

... but it immediately occurred to me that the combination of radiation damage and medications would make it taste terrible anyway. :-(

Hekate

[KittyWampus]

29. someday I hope our great-grandchildren will look back at us and think we are so backwards

using radiation and chemo to cure cancer. Like how we look at medieval doctors and how they used bloodletting.

[Hekate]

9. I'm so sorry. I hope that at least he is comfortable and free of pain...

... though that sounds like rather a long shot, too. :cry:

Ebert's attitude is very forthright, and self-reflective in a good way. He's an admirable man bearing up under an awful illness.

Hekate

[luvspeas]

12. As a Chicagoan, Roger Ebert has been a constant of my entire life...

I love Roger Ebert!!!! He's a great guy and he's been dealing with this illness for a long time now. I guess the reason many of you didn't know is because he absolutely refuses to let this stop him from being fiesty and wonderful. I so admire his strength and determination.

[Jennicut]

13. I could not imagine having to go through that.

Sometimes I complain about being a diabetic with all the shots and keeping track of blood sugars but that is nothing compared to this. And he is such a good guy. I hate when terrible things happen to people like this. Very sad but he really seems to psychologically being doing well.

[hadrons]

14. I recently found a 1986 Siskel & Ebert special on an old beta tape

Best & Worst films of 1985 ... those guys were at their peak at that point.

I wish nothing but the best for Ebert ... I do have to say his sense of humor is still intact with his remark about not wanting to get addicted to caffeine

[Amerigo Vespucci]

17. His attitude is nothing short of amazing

Many of the comments so far have been along the lines of "I had no idea," and I'm sure many don;t know what he's been through.

And yet, he is still Roger Ebert...he is still writing, he is still chasing his passion to the best of his ability...

This man will most certainly die with his boots on. Circumstances have kicked his ass, but he keeps kicking back.

[closeupready]

22. He sure is still Ebert, and reading his blog, it's almost like you can hear and seem him before you,

talking like he used to with Siskel. I really admire his strength and energy.

[slampoet]

34. PLEASE post it on you tube. You may have the ONLY copy of a show like that.

A lot of shows especially weeklies don't have past archives.

I once gave away 100+ copies of the "Car Talk" show from the early 90's only to find out the car Talk Guys might not have the programs recorded.

The first few seasons of MST3K also only survive because of tapes like yours (even though the first 4 episodes are lost forever)

[renate]

15. what a great guy

I love his spirit and humor. He's a mensch. :loveya:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

16. He's one of my favorite writers.

His reviews and critiques aren't limited to just the films themselves. He frequently ties them into the world at large. Of course, he's also very knowledgeable and witty, which helps a lot.

[davsand]

18. 12th Annual Roger Ebert's Film Festival 2010 April 21-25

http://www.ebertfest.com/index.html

Ebert is the programmer and host for the festival. He is a local boy (Urbana) and his film festival is something really special. I highly recommend it. This year's schedule ad guest list is not yet set, but you can pretty much bet it is gonna be well worth the price of admission.



Laura

[proud2BlibKansan]

19. Damn

That's sad.

[Dappleganger]

20. He's become a gem of writer...

Roger Ebert was already quite talented, but since he's begun work again IMO his writing and creativity has dramatically risen. JMHO

[Amerigo Vespucci]

23. I'm sure many are of the same opinion...

...it takes a tremendous amount of courage to write about those kinds of experiences.

Movie reviews are great.

Putting it all out there, holding nothing back...there's nothing better than that. He could have clammed up, or copped an attitude.

He did neither of those things.

[BlueIris]

24. Roger Ebert is my favorite critic of all time. Love him. nt

[BlueIris]

25. :-) nt

[Pithlet]

26. Roger Ebert is an amazing writer.

I think that's the best ending to a piece I think I've ever read.

[librechik]

27. ...oh my.

Blessings on you, Roger. You are a great man and a singular writer.

[applegrove]

28. Vibes.

[hfojvt]

30. youch, he hasn't been able to speak since mid 2006?

I coulda sworn I saw him doing reviews when I had cable TV in early 2008.

I think I really would miss drinking.

[Raine]

31. Wow, I didn't know this

I wish him the best.

[HipChick]

32. God bless his wife Chaz who has helped him through thick and thin

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[undeterred]

33. He taught me how to watch movies.

I'm sorry he's going through this.

[Libertas1776]

35. I have been well aware

of all the troubles he has been going through and its been saddening. However, his spirit and optimistic outlook is truly inspiring. And reading this article sure has made me think of crisp cold colas and grilled cheese sandwiches of long, long ago. Bless ya Mr. Ebert and keep on writing and reviewing.

[MilesColtrane]

36. Damn, it sounds like he's not long for this world.

I sure hope I'm wrong.

[kentuck]

37. Very, very sad...

It's good that he is remembered. That will be sustenance for his soul and our souls...

[donheld]

38. So very sad, I wish him the best.

[tabasco]

39. He's a great human being.

I sent him an email once and got a personal response.

I really enjoy his reviews.

[LaPera]

40. I love Roger Ebert - His great reviews are just a small part of the reason.

[earth mom]

41. Why does crap like this always happen to the good guys while the evil bad guys

get to continue to spew their venom and hatred?!

:cry:

[ClayZ]

42. My father has been tube feeding for nearly 5 years.

It has been the trial of our lives. The surgery, for esophageal cancer went terribly wrong. At 82 he is doing well with the formula he now uses.


He is very brave! He can eat (recreationaly, it goes into a soma bag) but does not often choose to. He likes to chew gum and suck on candy, but it is kind of messy.

He was an amazing mouth whistler, and singer... but all the surgery messed with his vocal chords. He talks quietly but the whistling is lacking.

He worked at Hanford as an electrical engineer for most of his career. He then built plants in Spain, Alabama, and New York.

Now he reads, gambles and watches Fox News. Argh!

He and my mother are expecting their 13th and 14th great grand children this year.

[MorningGlow]

43. I just found out

that Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica) also recently had thyroid cancer. Her operation was a success.
Speaking as a person who has thyroid problems, I can't help but be a little :scared: at all this...