A GREAT SALE going on for health insurance policies!!!!!

[Land Shark]

Are there any other benefits or distractions (sic) to be disclosed below so that the following is truth in advertising?

I'm conducting a sale on health insurance policies. Wal-Mart will join me, and they're selling internet-access computers (the internet is a good thing, just like health insurance)

While the normal retail value of these policies averages $1000 a month or more for a family, depending on your income, the discount is from 0% to 90% off. For computers, they average $700, with the same discounts of 0% to 90% depending on your income.

These fantastic deals, from me and Wal-Mart are only available if you buy every month (for insurance) and every year (for computer systems).

IT IS THE LAW: YOU MUST BUY.

--This is the only way we can get the economies of scale so that you all can enjoy these low low prices and subsidies. If you don't buy you will be fined because you are raising prices for everyone else and cheating the system.

BUY NOW. It's not a choice, it's the law. By joining this process, you'll be "helping" 30 million people get health insurance and "helping" millions to get computers, not to mention keeping me and Wal-Mart in business forever!

Hmm. Are there any other benefits or distractions (sic) that should be disclosed so this is truthful advertising?

[Land Shark]

1. ALL POLICES MUST GO!!! (It's a new kind of "CLOSE OUT" sale.) Hurry so you don't get fined!!!!

[Kokonoe]

2. I have a preexisting game addiction.

So mandatory software charges would make the price anything you want. ;(

[Land Shark]

3. We have a policy FOR YOU!!! If you fail to meet healthy gaming benchmarks, we'll raise your rates

That's only fair to the rest of the policyholders, given the additional risk you represent given your gaming addiction.

[Kokonoe]

5. I hear this deal is horse crap.

But if you get everyones money, then next years deal is free ponies.

Is that true?

[Land Shark]

7. Next year free? WE are totally committed to giving you a deal you CAN'T REFUSE! (Better than free!)

[Land Shark]

4. Sign Up NOW! (Prices and benefits are subject to change without notice!) n/t

[Land Shark]

6. How come more of you aren't BUYING? This is a once in a lifetime TRANSITION offer- a bridge to good

[Land Shark]

8. Our partners at Wal-Mart like insurance, they've mandated Dead Peasant policies for all employees!

Dead Peasant Insurance does not reflect any actuarial judgment that corporate health care doesn't really work. At Wal-Mart, they're just hoping workers die so they can use 100% of the death proceeds to purchase ever-better health insurance for all!!! :sarcasm:

[Land Shark]

9. Aw c'mon, no BUYERS?? Do we have to increase the HANDOUTS to some of you from 0% to 10%, or 5% more?