Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy

[Hissyspit]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_to_wait_for_next

POLITICS
Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy
JANUARY 11, 2010 | ISSUE 46•02

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce Springsteen album before moving forward with additional economic stimulus initiatives.

"If Mr. Springsteen puts out an E-Street Band project with one rave-up and several tracks containing an overarching theme of redemption, the president will certainly take that as a strong indicator of economic recovery," said press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that an album cover featuring an American flag would be "extremely promising."

"However, if he records a stark, haunting, Nebraska-esque exploration of blue-collar life, then it is time to lower interest rates and take immediate steps toward drastically reevaluating our current strategy."

The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape.

RELATED ARTICLES
Nation Instinctively Forms Breadline
02.24.09
In This Economy, It Would Be Crazy To Run Out And Expose Yourself To Your Son's Soccer Team
10.27.09

[Solly Mack]

1. ...

"The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape"

lololol

[midnight]

2. I'm getting the impression that their is a rhyme to his reason?

[undeterred]

3. I hope Springsteen is working on it.