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I have a very small family and I think I alienated my sister today.

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Paper Roses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:46 PM
Original message
I have a very small family and I think I alienated my sister today.
I am on the east coast, she and her husband are now on the west coast, having moved there from Georgia.

She periodically send me e-mails, some of which I find offensive. I can ignore some of them and, to keep the peace in what family I have left, I have ignored all the stuff she and her husband sent that is either political or religious.

Today I got a little ditty that just tipped the scale. I know it is old but I guess it just got to them.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=5814432&mesg_id=5814473

Maybe it was not the thing to do but I replied to her I was disappointed with Obama in many ways but that this e-mail offended me and that I do not agree with any of it. My position on politics and religion is 180 degrees from hers.

I then asked her not to send me any more political or religious e-mails.

I love her dearly, her husband is great. I just can't take any more of this kind of stuff.

Maybe I am wrong and should have just ignored it. Yesterday and today have been really bad days for me and maybe I'm just a little touchy. The world is a mess, the situation in Haiti makes me cry. I don't need to read this baloney.
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. oh PR
You need a hug. It's a sad world, eh?

My sister is a problem, too. She's a dittohead. The tension lies just under the surface. She would chew me like a dog toy if I ever made an overt comment about her ridiculous and bigoted ideology.

She knows how I feel. But we dare not speak about things political.

Maybe you have simply put your sister on notice and she'll behave better.
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ThomWV Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. I did essentially the same thing with my Step Father, we never spoke again.
He died about two years ago, we never shared another correspondence.
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Ian David Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. How else will she learn? n/t
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
4. You're not her punching bag
and that's what this email was trying to use you for.

You were 100% correct in telling her you found it offensive and you don't want any more of it. I went farther than that and told people another one like it would result in my blocking them, that if they needed to get in touch with me they could invest in a stamp or a phone call.

My family respected it. The two people who didn't got blocked. I didn't miss them. Word must have circulated because nobody sends me that garbage now.
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monmouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. I warned a couple of times but the e-mails kept on coming, I then
told them to remove me from their addresses. If they don't take your warnings seriously, they have little or no respect for you. I was shocked at the level of racism and bigotry I was receiving. Unacceptable and I let them know it. I don't want or need these types of people in my life and feel so good I had the courage to tell them.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. If you don't tell them to lovingly STFU on their blind BS then who will?
Edited on Thu Jan-14-10 04:59 PM by YOY
I found that P&G douchebag's mail to be hilarious. Obama is pretty unscary. He's doing the job a responsible Pre-Reagan Republican would.

They have nothing to complain about.
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KrazyinKS Donating Member (35 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Boy does that sound familiar
Same problem here. My sister has always been very generous with us in time of crises. She has been sending me these far right wing emails for years. I tolerated it during the Clinton years. Some of it was very very strange. When Bush came into office I became more and more angry at the Repubs. So one day I told her I was not a Republican. At all. She toned it down. Then I told her I was trying to start a business and she said I would have trouble because all business people are all conservatives. Then she sends me this wingnut video about the birth rate of Muslims and how they will overtake Europe in the near future. It was very scary stuff very ominous. I consider that typical Republican scare tactics. So we are supposed to have a birth rate war, like in India and such. Who wins? I let it rip I told here she is soaking this stuff up like a sponge and should think more critically. I don't think she wants to talk to me now. I should be used to is I do live in Kansas but geez, I am going to need therapy soon.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:17 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. As an MBA I will tell you that there is a conservative trend.
Edited on Thu Jan-14-10 05:20 PM by YOY
A real conservative and not douchebag dittohead "conservative" trend.

One sees both the real conservatives and lockstepper Fox news types usually among the Mormons, the truly connected, and the wannabe connected (those are the funniest bastards of them all.) There are liberal MBAs. I know more than a few. There are also moderates and those who think that Republicans have a poor track record. (The recent ones do.)

Personally, I find anyone who still believes that trickle down economics works to be a blazing idiot as it repeatedly and demonstrably does not.

What I find funny is anyone who assumes that being "conservative" means being better at business. I heard the crazy Baldwin say that one...It's like saying being Italian makes one a good cook.
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eilen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. I received that hateful email too, from dMIL nutbag.
My sympathies. It was a horribly racist one. (If it was the one I'm remembering it had a whole thing about the so-called secret Muslim plan to subjugate women also--disgusting).

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Joe Chi Minh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. Just reply that the CEO of Procter & Gamble would be part of the problem, that is, the wealthy elite
Edited on Thu Jan-14-10 05:23 PM by Joe Chi Minh
who have been remoreselessly plundering the people of this country. If anything Obama is has been far too easy on them in relation to their massive frauds. It's not tendentious, it's fact: formal frauds on a massive scale.

Then send them some good stuff from Joe Bageant.com; and this:

http://kwitsach-hadera.livejournal.com/342105.html

All that sort of stuff. Not to be snarky, but to educate them.

I couldn't bear to read all of it, but what I did sounded the most bizarre piffle. I'd be thrilled to bits if a non-Brit took over the reins of governmen in the UK. Ours are utterly venal and incompetent. How much better off our country would have fared in this economic crisis had we been permited to outsource our government to Scandinavian, French or German pros. To name to most obvious preferences.

Likewise, what an ineffable benison it should be on the country, to have a President without any military background. Again, if anything, Obama has erred in furthering the wars without end, against his better judgement. Imagine if McCain or the CEO of P&G were in the box seat!

It's not that Obama's not sufficiently All-American Repubican(!), but the reverse. And to make matters worse, he's given them a brain and some subtlety.
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Dappleganger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:18 PM
Response to Original message
10. Give it time.
I have a sister and we've had our issues over the years. You standing your ground and giving a boundary will give her the ability to respect your more even if she is miffed for now. What would be good is after awhile to reach out and talk about something else, so she knows that there are safe things for you to discuss. I know that some people would say to write her off totally, but one day you may need to act together for a family matter and it's important to have not burned all the bridges totally.

My sister knows how I feel, and I know how she feels so we've agreed to just disagree and not let anything endanger our sister-relationship.
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Adelante Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
11. That happened to me with my sister in law
I had asked her a few times to take me off the list she sends religious and political emails to. I wasn't too heavy on her, because she has cancer and I felt kind of bad hurting her feelings when she was so sick. But the way I finally put a stop to it was by sending debunking of the Muslim stamp, for one, and the carved text of FDR's words on the WWII memorial on the Washington Mall. I didn't berate her, but sent official links backing my explanation, like the post office and the memorial's own website to prove the emails she was circulating were false. It's useless to send links such as Snopes or FactCheck to conservatives, because they just dismiss them. But official links stop them in their tracks. Anyhow, while I am sure my sister in law is still peddling this crap, at least I have never received another false email from her so I don't have to look at it.
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elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
12. I know from experience that family members with opposite beliefs can get along together
as long as they respect each other's views and that generally means you just don't go there. It may not be simple, but it can be done.
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
14. This doesn't seem out of line.......
:)

Don't beat yourself up.
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WVRICK13 Donating Member (930 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
15. I Haven't
spoken to my brother in ten years except when the parents are present (no need to worry people in their late 80s) and we are both fine with it. Can't tolerate rednecks and I make no apology for it. I'm sure we both feel our lives are better without each other.
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