LTE = = A letter to Pat Robertson from Satan

[mac56]

This is too good to miss. In today's Minneapolis Star Tribune.

http://www.startribune.com/opinion/letters/81595442.html?elr=KArksc8P:Pc:UUULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUr

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake.

Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

[Matariki]

1. !!

k&r! so funny.

[FiveGoodMen]

2. Nicely done.

[mac56]

3. I didn't create this. Wish I had.

[FiveGoodMen]

8. Yeah, but to whomever wrote it: Nicely done.

[LeftishBrit]

4. good stuff

'Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.' - Which is probably a very lucrative one!

[Froward69]

5. righteous !!!

[scarletwoman]

6. "Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract." Perfect!

Great LTE! Thanks for posting this!

[geardaddy]

7. Dupe...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7471655

:P

[Uncle Joe]

9. Double

kicked, :kick:

[Uncle Joe]

10. and recommended.

:kick:

For those times when one kick just isn't good enough.

Thanks for the thread, mac.:thumbsup:

[janedum]

11. Dear Pat: Satan's holding a nice warm place FOR YOU in hell.

[Prometheus Bound]

12. Is it true that Pat Robertson made a pact with the devil?

They say it's true.

[ddeclue]

13. A little sympathy for the devil folks.. after all he's going to have to put up with Pat for eternity

:rofl:

:applause:

[WhiteTara]

14. well, it was a great place for gay and child

sex with tourists.

[WCGreen]

15. Now that, ladies and gentlemen

is pure and spot on Satire...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. I'm loving it!

[Initech]

17. *THAT* is comedy!

:rofl:

[dickthegrouch]

18. New keyboard needed !!!! nt

[progressoid]

19. Outfuckingstanding!

:spray:

[Hissyspit]

20. Pat Robertson - If you look up "fucking lunatic" in the dictionary...

You know, picture of him and all.