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He’s the country’s newest Senator, and he’s about to rock a lot more than just the political world.
Massachusetts Senator-elect Scott Brown, who just defeated State Attorney General Martha Coakley in a special election to fill the United States Senate seat held by the late Edward M. ‘Ted’ Kennedy for nearly five decades, is for the second time in his life, coming to a centerfold near you.
National Review publisher Jack Fowler and editor Rich Lowry announced shortly after Coakley conceded the election that the Senator-elect has agreed to pose nude for the magazine’s first-ever centerfold. The special issue, the conservative standard bearer’s first in which a contributor will ‘share the wealth’ is due to hit newsstands in time for Valentine’s Day. It will be Mr. Brown’s first widely published nude pictorial since he was named ‘America’s Sexiest Man’ by Cosmopolitan in 1982.
“As far as we’re concerned, anyone with an ‘R’ next to their name who wins election to national office from Massachusetts is our ‘Sexiest Man Alive’,” Mr. Fowler told reporters. “Besides, we at the National Review realize that this is the 20th century. There’s nothing wrong with people who support waterboarding acknowledging that they also have a sexual side.”
Ironically, Senator-elect Brown attained office by vowing to be the Senator “responsible for killing health reform”, a goal frequently described as his predecessor’s “life’s work”. For his part, shortly after the results of the election became a foregone conclusion, the late Senator Kennedy was clocked at 78 r.p.m., tying an old record.
When asked if the pictorial would show any ‘full-frontal’ nudity, Mr. Lowry responded that while Mr. Brown would appear totally nude, “we nonetheless respect the conservative values and delicate sensibilities of our readership, who I can assure that this pictorial, while titillating, will nonetheless be tastefully presented. He later added, when pressed for details, “I don’t want to give too much away, but there’s one shot of him bent over the hood of that little truck of his that I believe many of his future colleagues in the Republican Caucus will find nothing short of breathtaking – especially those who saved their glasses from ‘Avatar’.”
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