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Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, there was a road. The road was very long, but very narrow, and it ran through the country with traffic going one way.
On the left side of the road, there lived Left Side of the Road Possums. Some lived just beside the road, some lived further away from it, but all considered themselves Left Side of the Road possums.
On the right side of the road there lived Right Side of the Road possums. Some lived just beside the road, some lived further away from it, but all considered themselves Right Side of the Road possums.
Some times, a Left Side of the Road possum would decide that things were better on the Right Side of the Road, and he would set off across the road to become a Right Side of the Road Possum.
Some didn't make it for they were run over in the middle of the road by cars and trucks whizzing on their way. Many who did make it, found that the Right Side of the Road Possums never really accepted them, or trusted them, believing that they were not “true” Right Side of the Road Possums. As the Right Side of the Road Possums were a particularly vicious bunch, they often tore the former Left possums to pieces. But some of the Left possums that crossed the road managed to imitate the Right possums so effectively that they became as vicious as the Right possums, and had very successful careers tearing other possums to pieces. Within living memory, one such possum, by the name of Ronald, actually ended up as King of the Right Possums, and they still use his name as an example to all Right possums and all Left possums who might consider crossing.
Sometimes, a Right Side of the Road possum would decide that things were better on the Left Side of the Road, and he would set off across the road to become a Left Side of the Road Possum. Some did not make it for they were run over in the middle of the road by cars and trucks whizzing on their way. Many that did make it, found that the Left Side of the Road Possums never really accepted them, or trusted them, believing that they were not “true” Left Side of the Road Possums. However, they were still better off that the Right possums who were just beside the road and who did *not* try to cross. Those possums were all sooner or later torn into little pieces by the possums who lived further to the right of the road.
Sometimes, on both sides of the road, some possums were born who were dropped on their head at birth. These possums were never quite “right” (or “left” if you prefer), and yearned to live in the center of the road. Most of them ended up dead. But some of them had enough Right Possum blood in them that they were able even to trample on the cars, and to end up as little kings of the road. Sometimes there were even able to magically drag Left Possums onto the right side of the road, without the Left Possums even realizing that they'd become Right Possums until too late. Two of the most notorious such possums were an American possum called Joe and an English possum called Tony. (Since there aren't really any English possums, most of his compatriots just considered Tony to be a Rat.)
Lots of animals are now dead as a direct or indirect result of the actions of the Right Possums and their so-called Centre friends.
The moral of our story is, “Keep Left! No Right Turn!"
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