What up, America! It's that time of the year again! It's
time for the voting for the 2009 James Danforth Quayle
Major-League A**hole of the Year Award. What a year this has
been, huh? We have certainly seen a lot of a**holes coming
out of the woodwork, and I'm not talking about just those who
have been trying to destroy America's first Black president.
A ton of hoaxes, acts of media prostitution, and moments of
sports idiocy have also made this year especially frustrating.
I've scoured all of 2009's weekly winners of the Major-League
A**hole Awards and I've picked the top 20 a**holes of the
year. It's up to all of you to determine who will take home
the 2009 Quayle Award.
Now, let's go over the voting rules: Take a look at these 20
a**holes. You must choose your top five (5) from the list and
rank them 1 through 5, with #1 being your top pick for the
Major-League A**hole of 2009. There are no write-in nominees
allowed in the end-of-the-year voting. You are limited only
to the 20 nominees below.
There are three ways to submit your votes:
--Post them in this thread
--Send them in a private message to me
--Send them to my e-mail address: NellyLunatic1980@aol.com
If, on your ballot, you choose more than 5 names, any choices
past #5 will be ignored. If you choose any names that are not
on the top 20 below, your entire ballot will not be counted
unless you correct your ballot before the deadline. If you
choose fewer than 5, your entire ballot will not be counted
unless you correct your ballot before the deadline.
Each first-place vote earns the nominee 5 A**hole Points, each
second-place vote earns 4 A**hole Points, and so on. All
points will count toward the nominees' lifetime totals.
Voting will be open for the remainder of the month--until 5 PM
EST on Sunday January 31, 2010. After all votes have been
counted and all scores have been tallied, the nominee with the
most A**hole Points will be the "Major-League A**hole of
2009". In the case of a tie, the nominee with the most
first-place votes will be declared the winner.
Thanks for your cooperation. Discuss away. Vote. Have fun.
And now, here they are--the best of the worst of 2009, in
alphabetical order:
Sens. Max Baucus (D-MT), Kent Conrad (D-ND), Tom Daschle
(D-SD), Mary Landrieu (D-LA), Joe Lieberman (R-CT), Ben Nelson
(D-NE), and Ron Wyden (D-OR) (June 22 winners) -- Calling
single-payer healthcare unfair to insurance companies, proving
that they care more about insurance companies than their own
constituents
Pat Buchanan (September 7 winner) -- Admitting to being a
Hitler apologist
Lou Dobbs (July 27 and December 7 winner) -- Questioning
Obama's birth just days after his own substitute host
confirmed that Obama's U.S. birth certificate is legitimate;
flip-flopping on immigration in an attempt to mount a possible
presidential run in 2012
Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) (June 22 winner) -- Getting caught in
an extramarital affair
David Feherty (May 11 winner) -- Suggesting that U.S. military
officers would murder Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid
FOX News (April 13 and June 8 winner) -- Organizing teabagging
orgies; justifying Dr. George Tiller's murder
Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) (May 4 winner) -- Calling Matthew
Shepard's death a hoax
Tim Geithner (March 23 winner) -- Pushing Sen. Chris Dodd to
insert language into stimulus bill that would allow AIG to pay
out massive bonuses
Richard Heene (October 19 winner) -- Balloon Boy hoax
Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) (August 24 winner) -- Calling a
self-confessed right-wing terrorist "a great
American"
Bill Kristol (August 3 winner) -- Admitting that
government-run healthcare works, but Americans don't deserve
to have it
Comedian Rush Limbaugh (January 26 winner) -- Openly wanting
Obama and America to fail
"New York Post" (February 23 winner) -- Publishing
an offensive editorial cartoon calling Obama a chimp and
advocating his assassination
Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) (April 20 and May 25 winner) -- Wanting
Texas to secede from the United States; wanting federal
stimulus money in order to renovate his mansion
Erik Prince (August 10 winner) -- Admitting that he founded
Blackwater solely to murder Muslims in the Middle East
Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) (June 29 winner) -- Getting caught in
an extramarital affair
Senate GOP (December 21 winners) -- Hypocritical filibuster of
funding for troops as an attempt to derail progress of the
healthcare bill
Orly Taitz (September 21 winner) -- Attempting to delegitimize
Obama's presidency, but getting laughed out of court by a
Bush-appointed judge and then calling that judge a traitor for
ruling against her
Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-KS) (July 20 winner) -- Believing that
only Black women get abortions
Samuel Wurzelbacher (January 12 winner) -- Dissing war
correspondents while serving as a war correspondent