Let's guess what the "pared down" HCR will have in it!

[Ken Burch]

I'll start:

1)No death penalty for anyone visiting a doctor(on the FIRST offense).

2)Anyone with a pre-existing condition will be given a free copy of the collected works of Glenn Beck.

3)People having surgery on the health subsidy to have all incisions stitched two-thirds shut.

4)Free pears for all next of kin(because it's a "peared-down" bill).

Add yours below.

[BlueIdaho]

1. Mandates

Nothing but mandates.

[Ken Burch]

6. They'll get the NOW endorsement by changing them to "persondates".

n/t.

[Cleita]

2. For women's health, probably those

tampons in the ears Rush Limbaugh spoke of.

[Hugabear]

3. Doctors offices required to show only FAUX News

Most of them already do, so that won't be hard to accomplish

[Ken Burch]

12. In fact...ALL they'll be expected to do is to show Faux News

The patients will now be healed by the spiritual power of Sean Hannity.

[kestrel91316]

4. Debtor's prison for medical deadbeats. With insurance. Who are overwhelmed by

deductibles, premiums, and copays.

[donco6]

5. But free Viagra for EVERYBODY!

Yay!

[Ken Burch]

8. Including Grandma and the kids!

n/t.

[Nite Owl]

7. You can get a dollar off

for meeting with the drug rep and then asking the doc for one of their drugs. You'll have to send in the Rx label of course to get your rebate.

[shadowknows69]

9. Anesthesia now replaced with tequila.

[Ken Burch]

10. ...But just for the surgical team...

They'll get NRA support by giving us bullets to bite down on.

[Warren Stupidity]

11. Individual mandates.

[Liberal Veteran]

13. Tax rebates for approved medical treatment*

*rebate will be issued to your insurance company at a rate of 0.00001% of your health care expenses and dispersed to the patient after filling out form 2102a and all 32 pages of form 1238f with itemized care listed on completed form 10854s attached and signed appropriately by six committees who must review and approved all forms and will be headed by no less than 12 representatives of each insurance company who will volunteer to review said forms in spare time and must meet a 13 member quorum. Failure of the patient to complete process in less than two days after the treatment will result in the rate being increased to 20 percent of said treatment and to be kept by the insurance provider for services rendered in addition to any and all medical expenses which will be deducted from bank account of member with a compounding interest of no less than 3400% APR and subject to garnishment of wages until payment is completed to the insurance company for troubling them.


Yay! We have reform!

[Ken Burch]

14. "Additional fees may apply depending on region"

"Offer not available in all states."

"Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, rashes, lesions, scabies, boils, carbuncles, abscesses, hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, hair gain(but not on head), dizziness, drowsiness, lycanthropy, night sweats, dropsy, catarrh, scoliosis, bursitis, bad breath, upset stomach, digestive upset, intestinal erosion, vampirism, St. Vitas' dance, Hansen's disease, athlete's foot, jock itch, shortness of breath, stroke, heart attack, heartburn, lymphoma, hemorrhoids, delusions, depression, suicide, homicide, deicide and difficulty believing.

Other symptoms may occur as well. Consult your doctor, exorcist or shaman if symptoms persist."

[ChicagoSuz219]

15. Everyone who signs on will be eligible to:

WIN A DATE WITH ONE OF THE BROWN GIRLS!!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

16. Dumb

Maybe you should go back to your box of crayons.

[Ken Burch]

17. Obviously, you own insurance stock and vote straight ticket Republican.

n/t.