Obama Mocks Self in Radio Address, Spares Conservatives the Trouble

[Orrex]

(United WorldNews Daily) Seeking to deflect a recent firestorm of criticism, President Obama went on the offensive this evening with a series of blistering preemptive attacks upon himself.

Speaking with his characteristic passion, Mr. Obama addressed his detractors who complain that he refuses to take up progressive or even vaguely left-leaning issues.

"I'm not afraid of a fight," the President countered, "but if someone wants to make that claim, who am I to object?"

Obama also downplayed Scott Brown's victory in Tuesday's special election in Massachusetts, instead underscoring the need for a clear focus on policy. "Senators McCain, Lieberman, and McConnell have generously shared their insights, and I will continue to seek their counsel during my second year in office."

One year after his inauguration, the President still faces a dwindling economy, massive debt, skyrocketing unemployment, and two disastrously protracted wars. Moreover, he must now work with a Congress even more sluggish than during his first year. Still, Obama insists that he knows how to deal with an obstructive Congress.

"Far be it from me to stand in the way of someone who's standing in the way," he asserted.

The President closed his address by reaching out to the American people to remind them why he campaigned for the Oval Office in the first place.

"When I heard that you wanted an intellectual President, I thought you said 'ineffectual,' so I signed up."

Tomorrow, Mr. Obama will announce several new policy initiatives, at least one of which promises to involve endlessly rolling a boulder up a steep hill.

[ddeclue]

1. The Onion?

:shrug:

[tblue]

2. Isn't it sad when it's hard to tell the difference?

What does that say?

[Forkboy]

3. This is becoming my favorite news outlet.

:rofl:

"I'm not afraid of a fight," the President countered, "but if someone wants to make that claim, who am I to object?"

Reminds me of the Carlin bit where he's naming books and one of them is "How To Conquer Self Doubt....Or Should I?" :)

[Orrex]

4. United WorldNews Daily is a bastion of journalistic integrity

[malaise]

5. +1,000

:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

6. It's been duly bookmarked by me. Thanks for the introduction,

I'd never heard of it before the weekend.

That obsession with Michael Douglas is a little odd, though. :shrug:

[Orrex]

7. Not Michael Douglas. MIKE Douglas

Who can forget his cutting-edge reporting?

[blondeatlast]

8. Ah!

That explains it.