******The Official Corporations Are Now Peeeeeeeple Thread******

[breadandwine]

*****Now it can be told.*****

CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!

And this we did not even know.

SCOTUS has SPOKEN from the MOUNTAINTOP!

I want to THANK the SCOTUS, an unelected body appointed by an unelected president. They really know how to offer conferred wisdom from on high to us lowly serfs.

A big part of the idea of a corporation is to have "limited liability" - to get AWAY from individual responsibility! But, don't be thinkin' about THAT!!

CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!

Look. I said that 20 times fast! THAT means it must be true! And YOU'LL be accepting corporate truth soon TOO, once the unlimited corporate advertising kicks in to brainwash all you worthless maggots!

With unlimited corporate advertising ramming corporate TRUTH down your throats like a TOILET PLUNGER ON STEROIDS, even Sarah Palin can be president. REALLY!!!!!!!!!! And YOU overconfidently thought she was unelectable! THAT'LL fix YOUR wagon, buddy! It's a whole new world out there. Having Winkypooh-from-Wasilla's finger on the nuclear button will fix EVERYTHING! RAPTURE HERE WE COME!!!!!

RAPTURE HERE WE COME!!!!!
RAPTURE HERE WE COME!!!!!
RAPTURE HERE WE COME!!!!!
RAPTURE HERE WE COME!!!!!

You better be movin' ta Alaska, buddy, if ya know what's good fer yuz.

Now that corporations are people, we will have to give them people rights. Offer your own suggestions below. Here are some of mine:

1 - Since corporations are now people, they deserve the right to vote in the voting booth.

SUFFRAGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SUFFRAGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SUFFRAGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SUFFRAGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SUFFRAGE FOR CORPORATIONS!


2 - Since corporations are now people, they deserve to be fed. I am calling for a federal agency to be set up RIGHT NOW to break into the homes of millions of Americans, steal their food and give it to the corporations. The food could be dumped down a chute constructed into the side of every corporate office building. The food could be funneled down a tube directly into the boiler room where it could be burned for energy.

FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!
FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!
FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!
FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!
FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!
FEED THE STARVING CORPORATIONS!


CORPORATIONS NEED TO EAT TOO, YA KNOW!

3 - Since corporations are now people, they deserve to have babies. As people, it is their RIGHT. It could be done with artificial insemination! A sperm bank must be set up at once to serve the needy corporations! Naturally, the sperm will have to come from non-corporations who will be required by law to provide it. Millions of Americans must be tied down and stuck with hypodermic needles to extract the precious bodily fluids corporations so richly need!

4 - Since corporations are now people, they deserve to be allowed to have SEX CHANGE OPERATIONS. It's their RIGHT! People have gender. WHY NOT CORPORATIONS!!!!!??????? And people CHANGE their gender. Again: WHY NOT CORPORATIONS!!!!!???????

SEX CHANGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SEX CHANGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SEX CHANGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SEX CHANGE FOR CORPORATIONS!
SEX CHANGE FOR CORPORATIONS!

Remember: If you don't help the corporations get their human rights, YOU ARE A BIGOT!

Now, I know that some of you have been talking about IMPEACHING members of SCOTUS. After all, this is the second time they have perpetrated a coup d'etat. Some of you think that since the GOP drove President Clinton crazy with an impeachment that even though they never removed him, it would serve the SCOTUS right to try to impeach THEM even if it failed, as it would put them in their place.

But: Is there any place in our political culture for political payback?????? Don't you believe in TOLERANCE? Don't you believe in LOVE? Don't you believe in fair play?

TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!
TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!
TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!
TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!
TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!
TOLERANCE FOR FASCISTS!

Those duck-hunting, cocktail party socializing members of SCOTUS are VERY UNDERPRIVILEGED.

MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!
MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!
MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!
MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!
MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!
MORE PRIVILEGE FOR SCOTUS!

Whadya gonna do, hold a march on Washington against SCOTUS or something? Listen, buddy. Only Republicans would do that.

SO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember: You worthless Democrats need to be rounded up and shipped off to camps! I'm sure SCOTUS would approve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once the subhuman Democrats have been shipped out, all the world's problems will magically disappear. . .

Add your own suggestions for corporate RIGHTS below. From now on, only right wing comments will be allowed in this corporate theocracy. . .

[JVS]

1. Here. Rewrite the lyrics to this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wxfd1E7HV8

[breadandwine]

5. That could work.

You have to come up with synonyms for "corporation" that have as few syllables as possible, like "cartel," "firm," so it fits the song.

[breadandwine]

15. Here. I did it. How to change the lyrics:

(Original lyrics are from "Parents Are People" from the 1974 children's film, "Free To Be... You And Me")




Just change the lyrics like this:



(I've reworded the lyrics without use of the simultaneous different lyrics for the two singing parts, which complicates, this is for a single singing role here.)



Corporations are people, people with children
When corporations were little, they used to be boys
Like some of you, but then they grew
And now corporations are women,
Women with children
Fathers with children
Busy with children, and things that they do
There are a lot of things a lot of companies do

Some comp'nies are doctors, some companies bakers
Or welders or painters
Or funny joke makers
Corporations are umpires, some are referees
Yeah, corporations can be almost anything they want to be

Corporations are people, people with children
When corporations were little, they used to be kids
Like all of you, but then they grew
And now comp'nies are grownups,
Grownups with children
Busy with children, and things that they do
There are a lot of things a lot of firms and a lot of comp'nies and a lot corporations can do.





Welp, that pretty much settles it. Corporations are people! The song now SAYS so! And this we did not even know. . .

[JVS]

20. They don't have children though, they have shareholders and money

[MineralMan]

2. So, that's what an OFFICIAL DU thread looks like...

I had no idea.

[breadandwine]

3. From now on SCOTUS decides what's official.

It's a whole new world....

[Robb]

10. It's the asterisks that make it, really.

Here, let me illustrate:

[Robb]

11. ******The Official Response to Robb's Comment******

I mean, who else could officially respond to me but me? YOU people? Like I'd leave that sort of thing to you all. :D

[geckosfeet]

4. CORPORATIONS MUST PAY TAXES

[90-percent]

6. Thom

Let Thom school you on the whole issue.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=385&topic_id=426559&mesg_id=426559

damn good vid.

-jim

[aquart]

7. If you prick them, do they not bleed?

No. They don't. Therefore, NOT PEOPLE.

[jemelanson]

8. This is not a NEW Concept. I must have missed something somewhere.

Did none of you take any Business Courses in College or Business Law Courses.

This goes back to 1886.

From "Screwed: The Undeclared War Against the Middle Class -- And What we Can Do About it" by Thom Hartmann.

Quote: In the 1886 Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad case the U.S. Supreme ruled that the State Tax Assessor, not the County Assessor, had the right to determine the taxable value of fence posts along the railroad's right of way. In writing up the case's headnote, however-a commentary that has no legal status--the court reporter, a former railroad president named J. C. Bancroft Davis, opened the headnote with the sentence: "The defendant Corporations are persons within the intent or the clause in section 1 of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, which forbids a state to deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection or the laws." And nowhere in the decision itself does the Court say corporations are persons.
Nonetheless, corporate attorneys picked up the language of Davis's headnote and began to quote it like a mantra. Soon the Supreme Court itself, in a stunning display of either laziness (not reading the actual case) or deception (rewriting the Constitution without issuing an opinion or having open debate on the issue), was quoting Davis's headnote in subsequent cases. Although Davis's headnote didn't have the force of law, once the court quoted it as the basis for later decisions its new doctrine of corporate personhood became law."

So what is all the fuss about now. This is not NEW.

[breadandwine]

9. Hey, Jemelanson, 67 posts, you're RIGHT! SCOTUS didn't do NUTTIN!

Everybody just SHUT UP and let the corporations buy every election from here on out. Besides. Democrats are only 3/5 of a person.

[Leopolds Ghost]

12. Jemelamson is right, regardless. But it's good to see folks waking up to the problem!

Corporate Personhood has been fucking up this country since the 1880s.

[breadandwine]

19. Not entirely. SCOTUS made a new ruling last week.

It was the subject of Obama's weekly address and a White House statement the day of the ruling even.

How is it a non-event?

If it's a non-event, what's THIS? ----

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F-JMDeKOGA


But what's the worry?

CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE!


So let's all shut up and mind our beeswax............


What the corporations do and what SCOTUS does is none of our business.

[Touchdown]

13. Toyota's children, Scion and Lexus, get child tax credits too.

How about that?

[breadandwine]

21. Right on! Cars are people too!

After all. They are the progeny of corporations! But who takes DELIVERY of their tax credits? The board of directors of course!


In fact, there used to be a TV show in the 1960s called, "My Mother The Car." Now that's what I call corporacracy! Corporations are people!

[rhett o rick]

14. From now on we need to identify our Senators by their sponsor. E.fuckin G., Sen Patti Murray

brought to by Boeing/Weyerhaeuser.

[Gregorian]

16. I demand marriage equality! I want to marry a corporation!

I knocked up Microsoft, and it's a shotgun wedding!

[breadandwine]

17. Hey. You don't knock up Microsoft. Microsoft knocks YOU up!

THAT'S CORPORATE EQUALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it's about time!!!!

[tinrobot]

18. I thought Soylent Green was people.