DU rescues a Haitian earthquake victim.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

One day, in Haiti...

DUer #1: No it isn't.
DUer #2: Yes it is.
DUer #1: No it isn't.
DUer #2: Yes it is.
DUer #1: Hey, check out that dude.
Haitian man: Please help me! My leg is trapped under a collapsed building!
DUer #2: No it isn't.
DUer #1: Yes it is.
DUer #3: Yes it is. Unrec.
DUer #2: Why'd you unrec?
DUer #3: Because your thread sucks.
Haitian man: Please! Help!
DUer #2: MY THREAD DOESN'T SUCK. YOU SUCK.
DUer #3: Here, give him a bottle of water.
DUer #4: NO! BOTTLED WATER IS A RIPOFF!
DUer #3: No it isn't.
DUer #4: Yes it is.
DUer #3: No it isn't.
DUer #4: Yes it is.
DUer #5: You know why this man is trapped under a building? CAPITALISM. That's why.
DUer #2: Unrec.
DUer #4: Unrec.
Haitian man: Water! Medicine! Please!
DUer #6: MEDICINE IS JUST A SCAM FROM BIG PHARMA.
DUer #5: No it isn't. This man needs pain killers!
DUer #6: Yes it is a scam.
DUer #5: No it isn't.
DUer #7: The only reason this happened is because Haitians don't have guns.
DUers #1 - #6: SHUT UP!
DUer #8: SOMETHING SOMETHING HUGO CHAVEZ!!!
DUer #4: Hugo is a tool.
DUer #8: No he isn't.
DUer #4: Yes he is.
DUer #9: Earthquake machine blah blah HAARP, sheeple!
DUer #8: Unrec.
DUer #2: Unrec.
Mod: Moved to the dungeon.
DUer #3: Was that directed towards me?
DUer #2: No it wasn't.
DUer #3: Yes it was.
Haitian man: THERE'S A BUILDING... COLLAPSED ON MY LEG.
DUer #10: Unfortunately the security situation precludes us from helping you.
DUer #7: I *TOLD* YOU THEY NEEDED GUNS!!!
DUer #1: K&R!
DUer #4: Fail.
DUer #10: My kitteh is cute!
DUer #3: Can we give him some food?
DUer #7: I've got some beef jerky.
DUer #11: MEAT IS MURDER!
DUer #5: No it isn't.
DUer #11: Yes it is.
DUer #5: No it isn't.
DUer #11: Yes it is.
DUer #12: You people have NO IDEA what you're talking about. I once visited a place with poor people and it gave me a sad.
DUer #11: Well aren't you special!
Haitian man: Please! I'm dying!
DUers #1-#12: SHUT UP!
DUer #13: OMG USSC DESTROYS TEH DEMOCRACIES TURN ON CSPAN FUCKING SHIT!
Haitian man: Hello?
Haitian man: Hello? Is... anybody there?
Red Cross volunteer: Hey there, looks like you could use some help.
Haitian man: Yes, please! Water! Medicine! Are the crazy people gone?
Red Cross volunteer: Yeah, they're gone. It's the same way in every disaster. They appear out of nowhere and then just vanish off the face of the earth. Only reason we ever know they were here is because we find these goddamn keyboards all over the place.
Haitian man: Please, can I eat one of the keyboards? I'm so very, very hungry.
Red Cross volunteer: Well, I could give you an MRE... You know what, go with the keyboard.
Haitian man: Thank you!

[TexasObserver]

1. How many bandwidths will die senselessly for your joke?!

Have you no shame, sir?!



You should have made it about the DUers not saving a kitten in Haiti, however, if you really wanted to stoke the fires of outrage.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

13. How many bandwidths?

All of them.

[Political_Junkie]

2. Yep

:rofl: :applause:

[WildEyedLiberal]

3. You forgot the people who think the Pentagon is invading Haiti

But otherwise... yeah. :rofl:

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

5. Those DUers weren't at the scene of this particular incident.

They were over at the airport arguing logistics with a bunch of other DUers who are upset that we aren't using more hemp in our relief efforts.

[Demoiselle]

4. Five stars.

And that was not a pro-military remark. Necessarily.

[lame54]

6. Except for the many DU'ers who donated to various organizations...

That's spot on - oh yeah :sarcasm:

actually it's pretty lame

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

7. I suspect that most people here who can afford to donate have donated.

I didn't think I would need to write Cliff's Notes for this post, but maybe I do: It's a joke about people who insist upon using this event as some kind of narrative lesson regarding their own pet doctrine, no matter how unrelated it might be.

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. +1 and while they prattle about it on Haiti

it is coming home to roost and they don't even manage to ID it....

<------ Austerity Plan for those wondering... oh wait, the more polite name... spending freeze, targeted spending freeze.

I was like unfrigging unbelievable.

[Robb]

10. Hell

...Give me a few minutes and I'll use this THREAD as some kind of narrative lesson for my own unrelated pet doctrine. ;)

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

15. Still waiting. :-) n/t

[uppityperson]

9. k&r

[omega minimo]

11. It's all NADER'S fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

12. Well, Nader *is* French. n/t

[Shanti Mama]

14. DUer #12 -- having a sad gave me the courage to

Adopt a child who'd been in an orphanage for 14 years, even though there was word his second cousin twice-removed might come claim him at some point in the future.

So yes, I AM special.