Rush Limbaugh: "I don't even want to be alive anymore."

[badgerpup]

OK, people...just to make it clear right at the start:

This is from The Onion. It is satire.

Chances are that El Rushbo had absolutley no notion that somebody was reading his diary and...er...I mean...umm...
This article probably isn't 100% accurate and contains a bit of...um...call it extrapolation and interpretation.


I know there are a lot of people out there who are upset about some of the things I've been saying on my radio program lately. My comments about the situation in Haiti have hurt and angered many Americans who genuinely care about the plight of the Haitian people, and that hurt and anger will likely never go away. Many of you are probably wondering, "What would compel a human being to say things like that?" Well, here's your answer: I am a very bad person. And, to tell you the truth, I don't really want to be alive anymore.

Try to look at it from my point of view. I have no reason to live. In my 59 years, I've made millions of dollars, built a veritable media empire, and accomplished virtually everything that a man of my limited imagination and worldview could possibly accomplish. And yet, at this point, in no way could you refer to what I'm doing as "living," exactly. I just sort of exist. I derive no real pleasure from life. Oh, sure, I talk a big game about what a golf nut I am and how much I enjoy the taste of a fine cigar, but it's all horseshit. Complete and utter horseshit.
....
(more)


http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_dont_even_want_to_be_alive

[timeforpeace]

1. When I saw that a few days ago I laughed out loud.

[TheCowsCameHome]

2. ...and I wanted his wish to come true.

[theHandpuppet]

3. From his mouth to God's ear

We could only wish...

[Ilsa]

4. "...the most abominable lump of festering dog shit ..."

"There, my son, go the remains of Rush Hudson Limbaugh, the most abominable lump of festering dog shit in the history of American broadcasting. May the likes of him never again soil or tarnish the greatness of our fair country."

:rofl:

[femrap]

5. Shit. I so wanted it to be true. nt

[jwirr]

6. Trash headlines at the grocery store say he has only 2 years to live. nt

[varelse]

7. This is a work of art

:rofl:

I can't wait to share it :)

[Canuckistanian]

8. Very well done

Satire at it's very finest.

[RedCloud]

9. The Onion's finest hour!

[TankLV]

10. From those lips to god's ears...SOON - VERY SOON!!!

It's LONG OVERDUE!!!

[ChicagoSuz219]

11. Funny, but...

...when I clicked on the link all I got was an ad for some movie... :-(

[Kalun D]

13. from that ad

click on "go to the Onion", it was in the upper right corner for me

[ChicagoSuz219]

14. OK, Thx! n/t

[Kalun D]

12. My favorite excerpt

""The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus.""

[ChicagoSuz219]

15. Mine was...

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" LOL

[RealityInSeattle]

16. He is a 60 year-old ex-junkie that is 100lbs overweight and smokes

he is on borrowed time already.

Statistically speaking, he has 5 years, maybe, if he is lucky.

Its just a clock management issue with Limbaugh now, he has very few health time-outs left in the game of life.

[damyank913]

17. Pop another oxy, Rush