Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger

[Truth2Tell]

In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bunch_of_phonies_mourn_j_d">Link

[DefenseLawyer]

1. Well done. n/t

[fishwax]

2. that's good stuff

:)

[mudplanet]

3. atta boy!

[patrice]

4. J.D.? You're supposed to be dead.

[rhett o rick]

5. I read most of his books in the early '60's. nt

[mn9driver]

6. And now we're all supposed to commit suicide or something because he's dead.

Heh.

[EFerrari]

7. Sssssh. You're interrupting my continuous prayer! Now I have to start over.

:grr:

[truedelphi]

13. Yet another reason for Salinger's death to lead to

Suicide.

There are only so many continous prayer loops one can do.

[Matariki]

8. lol

:thumbsup:

[caraher]

9. Every other crumby reflection pales by comparison.

Goddamn phonies!

[concerned1]

10. “I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something.

Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetary. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.”

“You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.”

[Onceuponalife]

11. Pretty clever post

Now excuse me while I go drown myself in booze and cigarettes.

[leftstreet]

12. LOL

K&R

[Greyhound]

14. LOL!

:rofl:

[Kitty Herder]

15. LOL

[SidDithers]

16. That was well done...

K&R

Sid

[Vidar]

17. Cute.

[KG]

18. heh. i figured it was the onion before i even moused-over the link.

[Ishoutandscream2]

19. Kicked and recommended! Excellent

[donco6]

20. Perfect.

Made me laugh.

[bvar22]

21. LOL...Joining the rest in mourning Salinger's death.

Salinger kept a large safe in which he stored his daily writings.

I wonder if we will have the opportunity to read them.

[slay]

22. Salinger would have dug it

i would like to think - great piece from The Onion. thnx for the post. :)

[Ignis]

23. Well played.

:thumbsup:

[carolinayellowdog]

24. When's the sequel coming out?

If you can be Holden for a paragraph or two, why not a book?

[Edweird]

25. LOL.

[EFerrari]

26. Kick

[bleever]

27. Very well done.

RIP, J.D.

Seymour, too.

[lib_wit_it]

28. I often wonder if it's a bad sign that I love that book so very much.

[11 Bravo]

29. Nicely done! Mr. Salinger would doubtless appreciate that.