An Open Letter to the United States Congress

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

Dear Senators and Representatives:

There seems to be a growing misconception within your ranks as to your job descriptions. To put it in the simplest terms possible, you have all been elected to represent your various constituents. I realize that upon reading that last statement, every one of you would say, “Yes, of course that’s why we’re here.” The problem is, many of you have either lost sight of (or just misunderstand) exactly what “representing us” means. Too many of you seem to believe that you are there to be “representative of us”.

Based upon the rhetoric emanating not only from yourselves, but also from former members of your bodies, advisers, lobbyists, reporters, pundits and a myriad of useless hacks who inundate our media, this misconception is not only growing in terms of the numbers afflicted, but is also becoming more entrenched. What’s even more dangerous – for all of us – is that it has led to disgruntled masses believing that any jackass (or in the name of bipartisanship, elephant) is capable of doing any one of your jobs equally well or better. While I think we can all agree that in many cases, this is of course, true, it certainly should not be in most. But let’s be honest with ourselves. What appears to be the next political tsunami bearing down on the Beltway has nothing to do with liberal or conservative ideology, “family” or “Christian” values, or any of the other most popular sound-bites the masses are subjected to in every even-numbered year. Rather, it’s a movement calling for every last one of you to be ridden out of town on a rail come November and replaced with anyone who is, for lack of a better description, not you.

And who’s responsible for people believing that any jackass (or elephant) could do your job just as well? You are. You are the ones, especially in election years, who spout incredibly inane, blatantly patronizing statements like, “We in Congress are mistaken when we start to believe we know better than the American people what’s best for them.”

REALLY??

Not that I think for a moment that any one of you believes this about yourself, but if you do, I would humbly submit that you should do the “honorable thing” and resign immediately. You may be “representative of” the people, but you obviously are not properly “representing” anyone.

With only a couple of exceptions, every one of you has now been in office for more than one year. You have full time staff and all of the resources of the United States government at your disposal. It is incumbent upon you to utilize these resources (provided at taxpayer expense) to acquaint yourselves with the issues facing our country in a way that those you “represent” cannot. (My apologies for using the word ‘incumbent’ in a way that has become foreign to you…)

In a nutshell, it’s your friggin’ job to know better than we do. Your election to office was the voters’ expression of their faith and trust in you to utilize these resources and make important decisions on our behalf. Governing based on public opinion polls – effectively saying, “gee guys, I dunno, what do you think?” is not only a lazy cop-out, but a dereliction of duty.

When polled, most children would choose candy and ice cream for dinner, but they invariably learn to trust their parents to make better decisions for them based on knowledge and experience. The fact that the parents who choose to serve their kids candy and ice cream for dinner will generally be voted “best parents on the block” by local kids doesn’t mean they’re doing a good job. Opinion polls are nothing more than a diluted form of public referenda. Governing according to them will inevitably lead to our country becoming a larger, less efficient, version of California. (http://thedesperateblogger.com/2009/08/poll-shows-polls-coverage-of-polls-nation%E2%80%99s-worst-problems/)

But if you feel you just can’t survive without the crutch of opinion polls, may I suggest that you poll each other anonymously. If members of Congress were able to freely express their honest opinions without fear of political repercussions, not only would consensus be more easily reached, but I believe you would find the public more accepting of the poll results themselves. Just as the majority of the population would rather hear the opinions of a sampling of doctors on how to best treat an illness, so too would they respect the opinions of professional lawmakers as to the best public policy. Frankly, when I see some guy playing with himself on the subway or there’s woman I’m stuck behind in line because she can’t decide whether she wants mustard or mayo on her sandwich, the last thing I’m worried about is their opinion on job creation or health care reform. What’s astounding is how much you seem to worry.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have been entrusted to lead our country at a time when we are in dire need of strong, competent leadership. So lead — don’t look to those who elected you to lead them for guidance. Guiding our Republic through the current storm is your job, and it’s a job you asked for. And yes, if you screw up, you may or may not lose your job. Welcome to the real world.

And please never tell us that you don’t know any better than we do. That statement can be only one of two things — an insult to our intelligence, or a testament to the lack of your own.

Respectfully yours,

Lloyd Woltz
(a.k.a. “The Desperate Blogger”
… and a registered voter)



http://thedesperateblogger.com/2010/02/an-open-letter-to-the-united-states-congress/