I've been watching the DC traffic cameras. No sign of mass straight-marriage collapse yet

[krispos42]

I've been assured by the religious right it will happen at any moment, though, and since they're never wrong about social issues I've popped some popcorn, uncapped a 2-liter of soda, and am just waiting for the fireworks to begin. Furniture thrown on front lawns, spouses taking golf clubs to SUVs, possibly a monster truck crushing a vintage British roadster.

:popcorn:

http://app.ddot.dc.gov/services_dsf/traffic_cameras/index.asp

[GodlessBiker]

1. Oh yeah? I saw a dog sleeping with a cat on one webcam. Truly the end days.

:nuke:

[krispos42]

4. Oh, that's not important.

The next step, of course, is men marrying cats and women marrying dogs. Slippery slope, you see. A Republican congresscritter on TV was talking about it right after I whacked my head on my desk reaching for a dropped remote. He was talking gibberish, but after that he made perfect sense!

[Soylent Brice]

2. MAYHEM!! MAYHEM I TELL YOU!!!

[krispos42]

18. Okay, I give up... what IS that animated gif???

Looks like a puppet wearing socks for ears!

[pipi_k]

20. Remember the movie....

"Gremlins" where the cute little fuzzballs turned into those nasty gremlins if they stayed up past midnight or drank water?

Looks like one of those with empty popcorn bags on its ears...

[krispos42]

23. Ah, okay, I never saw the movie. I read the book, though.

When I was a teenager.

Thanks! :hi:

[pipi_k]

27. I found the movie clip on You Tube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN16Wgp48MI



If you ever get a chance to see the movie, go for it...it's a lot of fun.

:)




edited to add a longer clip

[krispos42]

30. Thanks, I see what's happening now.

:hi:

[Soylent Brice]

26. it's a GREMLIN!! in the movie theater, wearing empty popcorn bags on his airs.

[LibertyLover]

3. I've got a question:

I live in Maryland but work in DC. The Maryland Attorney General just issued an opinion that Maryland's courts would, in all probability if asked to rule, recognize same sex marriages that were made in other jurisdictions where such marriages are legal. How soon do I have before the DC legalization of same sex marriages begins to impact my straight marriage in Maryland? I live in Annapolis, about 30 miles from DC. :rofl:

[krispos42]

6. As you can see, the straight-marriage-dissolving power of gay marriage is so powerful...

...it can resonate through time and space and influence attorneys-general up to a week in the past. Not only has it happened, it happened before it happened, if you know what I mean. By the way, you've been divorced for 5 days now. You'll find out when you get home. Or what used to be your home.

[pipi_k]

14. It's so powerful, in fact....

that it broke up two of my previous marriages...

One in 1975, and another in 1981.


That was before I found out about "GayRaid Anti-Gay Marriage Influence Spray". A couple of squirts a day now keeps my third marriage safe from "Teh Gay"

Wouldn't the wingnuts love to know where I bought it....


muwahahahahahah

:evilgrin:

[krispos42]

16. Ah, no, that was just your obsessive fascination with pet rocks

No matter how hard you try, they ain't gonna have a litter of pebbles.

Sorry, dude :pals:


And I hope you read the warning on that can!

WARNING: may cause cirrhosis of the liver, inflammation of the brain, heart damage, pancreatic damage, kidney damage, spleen implosion, thyroid combustion, severe nasal hair growth, blindness, eruptia, pregnancy, infertility, fecal incontinence, impotence, loss of genitalia and/or hermaphroditism, hair loss, skin blemishes, bone deformity, throat cancer, ulcers, hangnails, bladder leakage, sores, scabs, elephantiasis, hepatitis, conjunctivitis, gingivitis, appendicitis, bronchitis, and athlete's foot. Not recommended for children, adults, senior citizens, animals, insects, or dead people.

[pipi_k]

19. Bwahahahahah

they would if we could only beat them hard enough...




PS...they forgot to warn us against "Farfalonus of the blowhole"

:cry:

[krispos42]

24. Corporate lawyers deny responsibilty for that one.

The lawsuit should be resolved in a few years, though. Don't lose hope!

[LibertyLover]

15. Wow - I didn't know the "the gay" was so powerful that it could

influence the time stream, bend space and in general mess with quantum physics. I am impressed. Does it also determine who gets custody of the 7 year old and the dogs?

[krispos42]

17. Alas, the dogs get custody of the 7-year old.

It would be a shame to further break up the family, and the dogs are, after all, consenting adults (in dog years).

[Brickbat]

5. Our marriage license looks a little scorched and I'm afraid it's going to burst into flames, thus

TOTALLY invalidating our (heterosexual) union. HELP!

[krispos42]

7. I'm sorry, there's no hope for you.

You'll have to run down to the nearest zoo and marry a zebra. That's also an inevitable result of gays getting married.

[Brickbat]

8. I can feel it working already! I...I simply MUST marry...a tortoise! No, no...wait...I can feel it

now...a BOX TURTLE! YES!! My one true love can now burst forth! It is FORBIDDEN NO MORE!

Come to me, you ravishing beast!

[krispos42]

10. You might want to wear a chainmail condem

Just a friendly bit of advice... :hi:

[DevonRex]

9. I wish you could see down to Virginia Beach.

I'm curious about my sister's marriage since she absolutely thinks gay marriage will harm "real" marriages. Dobson told her so, you know. They must be getting separate divorce attorneys as we speak.

:rofl:

[krispos42]

11. Divinely-powered tsunami washed it away a couple of hours ago.

Too many women dressing immodestly. Might encourage lesbianism.

[TexasObserver]

12. Wasn't there a show tune about this?

"GAY is bustin' out all ovvvvv-errrrrr!" (Or was it JUNE is bustin' out all over?)

If they really wanted to protect marriage, they'd make getting married harder for straight people and they'd outlaw divorce. That would protect marriage, if marriage needs protecting.

[krispos42]

13. But that would interfere in the ability of Republican politicians...

... to trade in old, poor wives for young, rich ones.

Never pass.

[jmm]

21. Give it a couple of years.

In the past week one of my friends had her car totaled in an accident and another lost two tires to a pot hole. It must be because we're the first state to legalize gay marriage. The gay agenda is making our infrastructure fall apart! People are finally becoming so paniced they can't remember how to drive :tinfoilhat:

[krispos42]

25. Nah, that's just the way Massachusettes people drive

I'm from Connecticut and now live in Minnesota. I can attest to this...

:P

[pipi_k]

28. I'm in the Western part of Mass...

and I can attest to the fact that the drivers in the Eastern half are absolutely insane.


:7

[Name removed]

22. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[mikeytherat]

29. OK, is this gonna trickle down into Virginia any time soon?

I need to be prepared as 20 years of marriage suddenly ends, and I become fabulous.

mikey_the_rat

[krispos42]

31. Teh gay shockwaves are so powerful they resonate in time.

You've been divored for over a year now. Go look in a mirror... you ARE fabulous.



Imagine what you used to look like! :scared:

[mikeytherat]

32. My good buddy, DUer swimboy, warned me about the power of ULV (ultra-lavender ray) exposure,

but I couldn't decide which looked better on me - tin foil hat, or aluminum foil tiara (with some mock-croc slingbacks and a nice Coach clutch to complete the ensemble). Then I realized it was already too late.

mikey_the_rat

[krispos42]

33. *snort*

:rofl:

If the DUzys were still running, I'd nominate you for that one!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

34. Everyone is stuck in a traffic circle and detoured to a one-way street. That's why.

DC is the absolutely worst city to drive in.