I'm just a few miles west of DC. Is my marriage doomed?

[11 Bravo]

Surely "traditional" marriage will be unable to stand against the tsunami of "gayness" which will soon emanate from our nation's capital city. How long until I dump my wife of almost 20 years? How long before my two sons begin fellating each other in the front yard? When will I feel the uncontrollable urge to madly hump the mailman's leg as he tries to deliver our mail?
Certainly Focus on the Family wouldn't lie, would they? I mean, there's no chance that James Dobson is simply a repressed and miserable little man who is just dying for someone to crack him over the rail and load him like a shotgun, is there? (I have my brother's partner of almost 30 years to thank for that disturbing, yet oh so descriptive, bit of imagery.)

[Oregone]

1. No. Lines drawn by dead men on a map hundreds of years ago will save you

Just look at the Canadian border, where only marriage is destroyed up north.

[ThomWV]

18. Actually the boundary that will 'save' him is a river.

It begins at a spring below what is called the Fairfax Stone and ends at the Chesapeake

[TlalocW]

2. It is doomed but not because of gay marriage

It's because you never put the toilet seat down, you insensitive jerk.

TlalocW

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

3. The toilet seat debate is utter BS.

When gguys want to piss they have to pull it up (if down).
When girls want to piss they put it down (if up).

Seems fair to me.
Unless you'd rather guys just pee through the much smaller opening of a lowered toilet seat.

[Maat]

5. No, no ...

as the cleaner of the house toilet seats, having them try to pee through that little opening would be a bad thing.:)

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

7. I told my wife that if we redo our 2nd bathroom, I want to add a urinal instead of a shower.

Urinals kick ass. Impossible to accidental miss and it catches the drips.
I think they use less water too and there's no "wax ring" to mess with.

The only thing better than a urinal is the man-trough (and the utter silence they demand when using a stadium bathroom).
Our second bathroom is not big enough for the man-trough, unfortunately.

[John N Morgan]

11. Yeah ... with a beer tap over it!!

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

13. With a silicone repilca manaquin arm to hold my jimmy while I pour a cold one.

Awww man. That'd a man-cave addition right there.
The only thing better would be if the handle of the beer-tap-urinal opened the wall up to reveal a walk-in gunsafe.
Also, the urinal cake needs to smell like freshly cooked bacon.

[YOY]

4. The magical VA border will save us!

Now MD's recognition will damn then...but that's their problem.

[Bozita]

6. Seal all of your doors and windows with some of that leftover duct tape

Protect your car too!

[Chipper Chat]

8. The terror alert for DC has just been raised to pink.

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

9. Duct tape will not stop teh gayz wavez. You need aluminum foil hats for both heads. n/t

[FreeState]

22. Or pink duct tape!

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

23. fzzbzzorp splat...

[FreeState]

25. LOL n/t

[John N Morgan]

12. You mean cars can get "teh gayness?"

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

14. Oh... lord, yes.

[Chipper Chat]

16. I guess 1958 was my gay year.

Little did I know, huh?

[Bozita]

20. But not that one

[Chipper Chat]

26. It had those incredible push-bottom gearshifts.

I felt like a rich kid when I cruised Eastland Mall in Evansville. Never got "picked up" though.

[Bozita]

19. Duct tape could have saved that car

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

10. We have 3 gay married couples in our little development.

So far our marriage is still intact. YMMV.

[xchrom]

15. I believe Teh Gay Wavez have a radius of 1000 miles.

You should soon be getting literature from Gay Central Committe.
You will be told where to turn in your old partner -- and where
to pick up the new one.

[damyank913]

17. Damn and I'm in VA. Better get ready for a tsunami of fabulousness;)

[Blue_Tires]

21. I thought this thread was about Tiger Woods making a comeback at the Congressional CC

:think:

[Captain Hilts]

24. Yes. Being gay is contagious evidently. nt

[Betty Karlson]

28. I'm unreccing this thread for this comment alone.

There is no call for this tone of debate. At a time like this, only good wishes, compliments, and celebrations. (Please)

[Kablooie]

27. Why would Dever Colorado doom your marriage?