Returning the car & my emotional breakdown(s) (by Florida4Obama)

[FourScore]

I have been following this infuriating and tragic story over on DK. This saga really illustrates for me the depth of some people's ignorance - to the point of breaking up their own family. It's truly staggering to me that people would be willing to treat their own children with such hate. I knew a man who died of AIDS in the 1990's without his family present because they condemned him for his homosexuality. I felt so sad for him. It just disgusts me when things like this happen to homosexuals -- especially the young and the vulnerable who are still on the path of discovering their sexuality.

Returning the car & my emotional breakdown(s)
by Florida4Obama
Sun Mar 07, 2010 at 04:30:31 PM PST

If you've been following the story of my nephew and the ordeal that he has been through in the past several days, (for background story see this: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/3/3/204529/7937 and this: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/3/4/192619/5011 ) you know that yesterday we returned the car to his parents. The drive was long, but when we got there the family was civil to me and my friend for the most part. It is clear they are very hurt by their sons sexuality. I had an emotional breakdown of my own...

...My best friend Dena and I left for North Carolina right around midnight on Saturday morning. We were returning my nephew's car to his parents at their request. I know many here suggested we just leave it somewhere, but we couldn't do that. As far as my sister and her husband knew, we still thought we were picking up some of my nephew's belongings as well. The drive was long, and Dena did most of the drive so I could sleep.

We arrived in less than 11 hours. When I pulled up in front of the house, the circular driveway was full of cars. Upon entering the house, I encountered my despondent sister and her husband. With them were several couples from their church, and a few from their neighborhood. My sister immediately ran to me and hugged me and just burst into tears. She said, "How could this happen to our family?" Several ladies in the room helped me calm her down.

Just by doing a quick look around the first floor of their house, I noticed their oldest son's pictures were nowhere to be found with one exception. His senior picture was sitting on a table by itself with a candle beside it. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he had died in a tragic accident. My sister and her husband are obviously hurt, but their actions were more of grieving for a deceased child as opposed to finding out their child was gay.

I didn't want to walk in and immediately ask about my nephew's possessions, so Dena and I sat with the family and friends for a while. One of the people from their church suggested that homosexuality could be caused by mental illness, or a chemical imbalance. There are apparently places where people can be treated for their homosexuality and one man suggested they send him there. His next door neighbor had been cured at one of these places after all.

Another theory was that he was just acting out and pretending to be gay to spite his parents. After all, my nephew is handsome and athletic. He's dated so many girls, so certainly he isn't really gay. The man who said these things also pointed out that even if he was gay, as long as he "never acts on it" then that is ok. He then lamented that he had already acted on it by talking to someone online and sending them pictures. It was to late he imagined.

Another person in the room pointed out that homosexuality could also be caused by a demon possession. A few pointed out that my nephew was a fine young man and couldn't possibly be possessed by a demon, so that theory quickly faded.

I finally was able to get my sister and her husband alone for a few minutes so I finally asked about my nephew's possessions. She asked me to follow her to his room. The door was shut and when she opened it, I saw one small bag in the mostly empty room. She told me that his other belongings had been taken away. She wasn't even sure which charity had gotten them. In the bag for my nephew was a Bible, a couple of Christian CD's, his birth certificate, passport, and a Christian devotional book. I had to act shocked that she would give his possessions away. She assured me that her son could not be "awarded" for his behavior by being allowed to simply pick up his possessions...

ENTIRE ARTICLE (defintely worth reading):
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/3/7/843901/-Returning-the-carmy-emotional-breakdown(s)

[hobbit709]

1. The mental health problem is the family, not the poor kid.

[StopTheNeoCons]

16. +100

[babylonsister]

2. That is awful; I can't even imagine how people can think that way. nt

[madokie]

3. What sick people

Son is much better off without any of them ever being in his life again. This shit pisses me right the fuck off, that someone can be so foolish as to think homosexuality is a choice.

sorry for my outburst but geeze

[tammywammy]

4. That's just awful

Thank goodness he has his aunt to look out for him.

[Rebubula]

5. Your Nephew is lucky...

...to have you. Thousands of other young gay people are kicked out of their families every year with no support from ANY family members.

He will survive and you will help him.

Humans that follow ancient texts are many times VERY stupid and hurtful.


Possessed by demons...who that fuck thinks that way anymore???

[FourScore]

11. Just to clarify that this is not my story, but a story from a poster at Dailykos.

My family would never act with such ignorance. We are a HUGE family filled with very tolerant and loving people. This would never happen within my own family, which is why I finding so shocking that it can happen at all.

[Rebubula]

14. LOLZ

My reading comprehension is for shit today.

I had seen this storyline posted on previous days. I was so incensed with the topic and family reaction that I neglected to pay attention to some details.

[WhiteTara]

6. my friend's lover shot herself in the head

over her family's rejection of her as a human. The woman was an alcoholic because of her deep pain. The house they shared was left in my friend's name and the family couldn't understand why the house had been left to a "room mate"

[FourScore]

12. That's so sad.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[WhiteTara]

27. thanks for your condolences

it was my dear friend's loss. It was terribly sad.

[peacetalksforall]

7. Just a note to say that the article continues at the link. Worthwhile reading.

[FourScore]

13. Thanks for mentioning that.

I highlighted it a little more in the OP after reading your comment.


:hi:

[peacetalksforall]

8. The family is cheating themselves by relying on one sided counselors.

[peacetalksforall]

9. Self delete - dupe.

[Fumesucker]

10. If your religion means more to you than your own child..

You are seriously sick in the head.

I'm trying to think of words harsh enough for the monsters that promote this hate and I find myself unable to communicate how much I despise them.

[tammywammy]

18. Agreed

My grandfather grew up Catholic, my grandmother Baptist and he coverted to Baptist after they got married back in 1945. My uncle is gay and they didn't shun him away, My grandfather and I were talking about gay marriage, and I was telling him about some friends of mine that drove up to Iowa to get married. My 89 year old grandfather is pro-gay rights and thinks you're born gay, it's not a choice. My sister-in-law was kind of amazed that I have these conversations with my grandfather, I said, I just talk about whatever is on my mind. :)

[SammyWinstonJack]

20. +1

:thumbsup:

[ceile]

15. I just don't get it....

He's your son, you whack jobs!

[TexasObserver]

17. It is tragic how these fundie families contort reality.

It's a demon that causes homosexuality.

It's rebellion that causes homosexuality.

It's sin that causes homosexuality.

It's that liberal teacher he had in high school drama that causes homosexuality.

It's anything BUT the real cause: genetics.

The attitude of such fundies is appalling. Perhaps some day we will remove from their hateful parents gay children, to give them a safe, happy home in which to live. It's abuse subjecting children to the vile hatred that is fundamentalist Christianity.

[Zoeisright]

19. Those parents destroyed their own fucking family.

What a pair of bigoted idiots.

[BanzaiBonnie]

21. That's is so horrible

Unfortunately they are totally brainwashed.

I believe that my cousin's son is gay. He's nearly 30, has never dated, and if he is gay, could NEVER tell his parents. I believe they would disown him and his grandmother, my aunt, would for sure. Rigid ideas, Rigid people. It's so sad that they may never know there son in a truly genuine way.


Have they never even considered that if they had not been born in the United States that they would likely NOT be following Christianity? No, that would mean thinking rather than following what someone else told you.

[reggie the dog]

22. some people are horrible to their kids

[Subdivisions]

23. My god. The parents of that poor young man are the ones who

need to cured of sins.

[reggie the dog]

24. full marriage equality, full equality in general is needed

we as a society must send a message to barbarians like these parents. I am not homosexual but that does not stop me from having empathy for the hell they go through all too often. If my daughter is a lesbien she damn well will be allowed, hell encouraged, to bring her girlfriend over for family meals etc. even if she is 14 and even if the other parents would be furious. Thankfully this boy has a caring aunt and uncle, he is luckier than many.

[Tailormyst]

25. This is such a sad story

I do hope she showers her nephew with love AND helps him find counseling.

[Doremus]

26. How fvcked up is it that you have to have a CHURCH COMMITTEE tell you how to treat your own kids???

Is it any wonder why we are screwed as a society when we have grown adults so dependent on "nanny church" that they have to be told how to act and think?

It's both sickening and frightening at the same time.