What do we tell our children?

[Duer 157099]

The level of despair that I'm feeling it becoming overwhelming, and I'm wondering whether it has been a good idea to let my child (a teen now) know how I feel about what is going on (with our country/the world) or whether it would have been better to shield him and let him find it out on his own some years in the future. I think he may resent "knowing" too much. He's not prone to activism of any sort, so it'd not like it's helped him to know.

Does every generation face this, or are we unique? Does every generation think they face unique challenges that nobody before them ever faced? I grew up in pretty challenging times and yet I was never pessimistic about my future (until now).

[damntexdem]

1. "Everything will be all right in the morning."

They'll find out soon enough that it isn't true. But if it's a very-young child, the reassurance is important now.

[Brickbat]

2. Eh.

I make it clear that we are going to be OK, which we are. But a lot of other people aren't, and it's important to remember how to help them in the best way possible.

[mdmc]

18. I am curious

how are you so certain that "we (you and your family?) are going to be OK"?

I have such fear of all things wrong - illness, accident, crime.

I thought that I was good to go in my life - white, educated, middle class. Then I got sick and my world view changed hardcore.

[Brickbat]

20. Well, my family has a lot of safety nets.

We have excellent health insurance, and I mean excellent. We have a solid family who can help out in so many ways -- in person, with money, with loving kindness. We live in a low-crime area.

It's true; I could drive to the grocery store this afternoon and be horribly injured in a terrible traffic accident. It would take an unlikely amount of things like that happening for things not to be "OK" for my kids.

Part of the reason I feel this way is that we went through a devastating period of unemployment from 2001-2005, and it meant the end of some of our dreams. If you could go back to 2003 and tell me then where I would be now, it would feel unimaginable.

We work hard and we are lucky. I know many people are not. I try to teach my kids that in this "new normal" things can change on the instant, and it's important to shore up yourself and then help others.

[mdmc]

21. thank you for the reply

I work with adults suffering from severe and persistent mental illness (mostly paranoid schizophrenics). It is hard to believe that someone can be "healthy" and normal all through their entire life, only to get hit with this nightmare at age 22 or so..

Thank you for the reply and for raisin the kids right. Peace out.

[Brickbat]

22. You're welcome.

And thank you for your reply.

When my firstborn was an infant, I remember thinking that I couldn't wait until he was six months old, so I could stop worrying about SIDS. And I worried about all the other things that could go wrong with a new baby. And then a toddler. And I thought, wow, once they're 10, you must feel like things are easy (barring the teen years, of course). And then I started thinking about the abductions, freak bike accidents, scary latent heart or brain problems, tragic childhood cancers, logging trucks that skid across the highway, and so on, and realized that there's never any moment you can stop worrying or wondering, and that if I wanted to get through my day I was just going to have to live and teach them how to live safe but strong and unafraid, and that underlies a lot of my childrearing.

[truedelphi]

3. I think that every lil kid, no matter what they are told,

Is still a kid. They wanna play and be creative and have fun.

I was raised in the fifties and some nun told my second grade class that we would not live to see our thirteenth birthdays as nuclear war was at hand.

Did this frighten all of us? Yes. but we still all had a blast (Probably not a good choice of words, there.)

For a kid, if there is some stability, the parents being present, the parents having a decent marriage, and if there is a roof over their heads and food on the table and a little money around, they are into playing.

I remember reading reports of kids after the Big 1906 Earthquake in San Francisco. While their parents were trying to somehow configure tents for the family to live in and to sleep in, the kids were running around having a great time, because they didn't have to go to school.

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. First hand experience during the floods of 1992

in Tijuana... I saw it. Kids were playing soccer.

[eleny]

4. My dad looked up from his newspaper and told me all politicians are thieves

That was about 1956. He was pretty close to being right and I appreciate that message today at age 63.

I'm not really trying to be funny or snarky. You tell the truth and your kid will understand who you are, one of the straight shooters.

[Warpy]

6. My parents also taught that lesson and I grew up

with both of them poking a great deal of fun at the "Honest John" sort of campaign posters, mentioning just who owned each candidate. My dad might have been a tax cut loving rightie, but he was far from stupid. He knew what was going on.

That's why I don't bother listening to much rhetoric out there. I follow voting records and base any judgment on that.

It's why my bar for Obama was set so very low: just that he wouldn't foul things up worse than they already were. I knew Gidget and The Geezer would have.

[Fast Dude]

7. Mine said the same thing

"They may not be a crook when they take office, but they will be before they leave."

Heard him say that at least a hundred times.

[Chulanowa]

5. A teen can handle it

Offer up discussion. Odds are he'll ignore you, but maybe he'll bite and the two of you can discuss. Either way, no harm is done. I promise you he'll appreciate being treated in an adult fashion, even if it's with bad news.

Of course there's plenty of good news to share, too...

[Duer 157099]

9. He won't discuss, that adds to my despair

I even print out select threads from DU, just to stimulate conversation, he won't do it. I *make* him watch The Daily Show, just to stimulate discussion. He will begrudgingly watch, but won't discuss.

I think I've just messed him up so thoroughly that he can't/won't even talk about it.

[Bluenorthwest]

11. Here is what you do. Seriously.

Simply trying to discuss things with boys will not work. You have to do something. Play a board game, plant a garden bed, take a hike, toss a ball. Conversation will follow activity, and chances are you will not even have to start it.
TV wise, if you have it, try putting on Current TV, Infomania, and Vanguard. The Daily Show, we love it, but it is not exactly as youthful as we like to think. Infomania goes faster. Sort of Daily Show for the younger set. Sort of. But try it.
But the key is action. Activity is the word. Do then say. Give it a shot or two.

[onpatrol98]

14. Some Aren't Political...Or, Maybe He'll Bloom Later

He may just become a man uninterested in the "details" of politics. My parents were news junkies. So am I. My sister, she could care less. She was and still is an Obamaholic. She won't be disappointed in his presidency, no matter what happens. It's a fairly blissful existence. She knows nothing of his policy decisions. She never would've been a "fainter". But, she also isn't going to get too far beneath the surface. She just isn't that interested. She's intelligent, articulate, etc. But, the day to day doesn't interest her. Just the final result. Now, my own teenage son, he asks questions. I would say he's more of an "independent" at this stage of his life and I like that in him. Like you, I want to nurture his interest. But, I don't want him to be a democrat voting on autopilot. Or, a republican bot. I want him to listen to all views and make his own decisions. I was surprised to find that they talk about politics quite a bit in his school. He was well aware during the last presidential election which teachers were pro-Obama or pro-McCain. And, he asks really good questions. Sometimes, I'm forced to rethink my own positions when I'm forced to dialogue honestly with him and can't rely on my comfortable rhetoric.

[Bluenorthwest]

10. Tell them the truth or you suck.

foisting off a false personality and world views on your own kid is awful, and you say this is a teenager?
Be yourself. You are all he has, so you must be you, or all he has is a sketch of a parent you are thinking you should be. You owe him yourself, all of it. Not some well rehearsed facade.

[ThomWV]

12. I talk to my son almost every day, and we often talk about his son's future.

Its bleek, but we're doin' all we can.

[kestrel91316]

13. NEVER give up. Never, never, never, never, never give up. - W Churchill

[Swede]

15. What's different now,than at any other time in history?

During WWII thousands of soldiers died every DAY! Depressions,wars and rumours of wars will always be with us. Go out and enjoy your life.

[HopeHoops]

16. Tell him the truth. Encourage him to read the news - news.yahoo.com is a good start.

If you aren't familiar with http://news.yahoo.com/, it has categories with article titles from AP, Reuters, AFP, Christian Science Monitor, and others. It is a quick way to get a run-down on what's going because if you hover over a title it gives you the a short segment of the beginning of the article. Curiously, it doesn't do that for local news, but for everything else does.

I've got three teen daughters (one is a freshman in college now) and we've always tried to be honest when they asked about what's going on in the country, the world, or with life in general. Kids are little sponges and if you don't fill them with answers, you can be sure someone else will. That's not necessarily a good thing.

[mdmc]

17. Say nothing. Act normal

The world is cruel enough and everyone finds out over time.

[Romulox]

19. Tell the kid the truth or you'll lose credibility in other areas...nt