http://www.theonion.com/content/news/racial_slur_development_notWASHINGTON—A coalition of the nation's most fervent bigots convened in
Washington Monday to address growing concerns that the production of
hateful new racial slurs has failed to keep pace with the rise in mixed-race
births.
According to representatives from the American Racists and Bigots Council
(ARBC), the growing number of children born to parents of different ethnicities
has posed a real challenge to the nation's hate-speech developers—a challenge
they say threatens their way of life.
"The world is changing, and we, the hateful and ignorant of America, need to
change with it," ARBC chairman Tom Branson said at a rally Monday. "The time
has come for our ugly, intolerant rhetoric to step into the 21st century. Our
disgusting, dehumanizing slurs simply must reflect the terrifying new global
society we now live in."
Added Branson, "In order to continue going backward, we first have to move
forward."
According to statistics provided by the coalition, a rise in the birthrate of
mixed-race Americans has left millions of confused racists with absolutely
nothing prejudiced to say when confronted by a person of indeterminate or
complex background. What frightens the coalition most is data suggesting
that by 2015, ignorant bigots everywhere could be powerless when it
comes to reducing mixed-raced individuals to profoundly uninformed
cultural stereotypes.
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(You did notice this was from
The Onion, right?)