if you are in a city or suburban location. And if you are right on the coast or more inland. Consult
a state university near you that has a strong horticulture dept, or a local botanical garden with an arboretum.
You are onto it by identifying those that fare badly and looking for the stronger ones. Never use Leyland Cypress, Bradford Pears, or white pine.
It's not true that "hardwoods fare better"--it just depends on the situation. If the roots of the hardwoods aren't able to grow enough, they can get tall but can easily topple. Oaks and Maples are still good choices, in the right locations. Oaks and beeches were the mainstays of the native mid-Atlantic forests.
If the trees do bend or break, you want to look for "good comeback" --they repair themselves well. Scale the trees correctly for your situation. Smaller ones if the space is limited, larger ones further from the house if you have more room.
If you are mid-Atlantic on the coast (where I come from), try some
Quercus coccinea (Scarlet Oak)
Quercus phellos (Willow Oak)
Nyssa sylvatica (Black gum, Black tupelo, Sourgum)
Cladrastis kentukea (American Yellowwood)
Chionanthus retusus (Chinese Fringe Tree)
Chionanthus virginicus (White Fringe Tree)
Styrax japonicus (Japanese Snowbell)
Cercidiphyllum japonicum 'Pendula' (Weeping Katsura)
Amelanchier various (Serviceberry)
Styrax obassia (Fragrant Snowbell)
Stewartia pseudocamellia (Japanese Stewartia)
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Yes, Beeches and Sycamores are good (the Sycamores shed balls & bark tho & require a moist location). you might try the Gingko--very strong, and katsura. And tulip poplars (more southern).
The magnolia grandiflora (or the smaller Little Gem)--if you are anywhere below the Mason-Dixon, is very rugged and withstands all sorts of wind, drought & pestilence. Small flowering trees--dogwoods, redbud, crabapple, star and saucer deciduous magnolia, service berry, fringe tree, crepe myrtle, chaste tree, witch hazel, japanese apricot (prunus mume). Here's a good reference for Prunus Mume, from the excellent NC State University Arboretum (great for help with the mid-Atlantic species):
http://www.bbg.org/gar2/topics/plants/1995wi_midwinter.htmlFor conifers: Cedars & junipers--several sp out there incl. Japanese cedar (cryptomeria japonica--several good ones, evergreen), Deodar Cedar. Bald Cypress & Dawn Redwood (metasequoia) are deciduous conifers. Further north the Larch is also a deciduous conifer. For uplands & Piedmont there's the evergreen Hemlock. These are all very rugged trees. I still like Virginia pines.
Here's something about the effects of global warming on mid-Atlantic vegitation:
http://www.climatehotmap.org/impacts/midatlantic.html