So I got a call from a collection agency last week... (reposted)

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

Reposted with modifications per moderator,
...

I recently had to change my phone number because an email containing my personal phone number found its way into a public regulatory docket and I began getting phone calls from people with strong feelings on the subject. So I call Verizon and they assign me a new phone number - great, no more assholes calling me.

Then on Friday I get a phone call from a gentleman with a horrid east coast tanning, steroid and nightclub enthusiast accent,

"I need to talk to Jasper immediately,"
This is a cell phone and i'm not Jasper
"If this is your cell phone then you are Jasper Beardly"
I have had this number for two days, I am not Jasper"
"You are lying bro, you gave this number when you checked-in to the Orlando (hotel chain) and you owe them $1700"
I don't know what the fuck your talking about, don't call me again
"If you value your future, you will show me some respect"
I am not Jasper, do your worst.

I hang up, and he calls back immediately.

"This isn't going to go away Mr. Beardly, our client has authorized us to sue you"
And you are going to sue Jasper Beardly?
"Yes Mr. Beardly, we are going to sue you, and we will garnish your wages to settle your debt and yo' credit will suck so bad you will be screwed"
I am not Jasper Beardly you really stupid person, but go right ahead

Again I hang up...

At this point I am thinking, what kind of name is Jasper Beardly?

So, I google Jasper Beardly...

This is Jasper Beardly,




So they are trying to collect $1700 from somebody who gave the name of a Simpsons character and this phone number.

This morning they call again, a different person this time. Much more bubbly and flirty than the jerk-off who called on Friday.

"Hi Jasper this is Sarah calling"
Oh, you guys again
"So you know why I am calling, we would like to offer an opportunity to settle your debt before we commence litigation"
And once again, I am not Jasper Beardly
"Do you know where we can find Mr. Beardly?"
Try the Springfield Retirement Castle
"Sir, this isn't a laughing matter, your future is in jeopardy if you don't settle this immediately, you can't get a job without a credit check anymore"
You are sitting at a computer, google Jasper Beardly"
"Sir... ohh... oh fuck..."

They hang up this time. I suspect I have heard the last of them.

[Catherine Vincent]

1. LOL!

:)

[mdmc]

2. Jasper!

[Love Bug]

3. Lol!

You're lucky -- I get daily calls from Dollars for Democrats and I can't get them to leave me alone!

Most hotels ask for a credit card or a deposit to secure the room. Someone went to a lot of trouble to screw them over.

[ixion]

4. Very gratifying, I'm glad they were able to finally pull their head out...

I had a similar issue with my cell number when I first got it, but it just dissipated over time. It didn't have that 'zing' ending yours did. :rofl:

[progressoid]

5. I'll k/r this one too!

[reflection]

6. I love the modification.

"a gentleman with a horrid east coast tanning, steroid and nightclub enthusiast accent"

:rofl:

[The Straight Story]

7. When I was in Bakersfield I got calls for 6 months from a bill collector for someone else

almost daily (then weekly, then back to daily, back and forth like that). I had gotten a new # and apparently this guy had had that number before me. Each time I was assured they would update their records - next day another call. Most went to my answering machine as I got tired of answering the phone.

Finally I got an IP phone and my # changed. No more calls from them.

Dumb asses.

[wroberts189]

8. Glad you reposted... here is my own story that I also pm'd you not realizing you reposted

A similar thing happened to me.


I was furious after the sixth call and told them to stop calling me... I was mad as I was on the road and the cell is for emergencies only.

They said they would not ..still claiming I was someone else. I told them they better stop calling me. Then they asked for my name... and called the state police on me.

The police did not ask for my side of the story. I was called and told I had made a death threat and they (the collection agency) had it on recording.

It *never* happened and when I told the officer it was a lie... I was told "they have it on tape" ... I asked did they play it for you? "Just stop calling them" ..umm the problem was they were calling me.

BTW illicit recording is big time illegal in this state ..CT ..because of scandals and the police are supposed to take it very seriously.

So I change my cell number (later I found out it screwed up my phone rebate but it got straightened out after more time spent)

I went to the State police barracks that night still fuming ... I walk into an empty reception area and talk to a speaker (not a person ..a metal speaker on the wall)

I told them I was there because someone claimed they had recorded me making a death threat.. they were well aware of it.. ...I was told no paperwork or report had been filed on the matter and to go home.

My wife dragged me out of there. I was furious.

To this day I have a grudge against the asshole state cop.. a local in a town of 3k people .. who could not take the time to even listen to or ask me what had happened. But even more against the collection agency that knew damn well they had been calling the wrong guy again and again but had the local state police on speed dial ..just from this one experience it is clear to me they like to lie and use the police or anything they can as their tools. This cop was used and did not even know it... and the irony is if the collection agency had in fact been recording ..and admitted it ..they should have been charged with a felony. The single point I was able to make to the cop before getting told to let it go.

Now when I look back I think the whole reason a report was not filed was because it would implicate a collection agency in either false statements or illicit recording *and* false statements... I do not know but I can tell you the shock of hearing *I* had made a death threat from a state cop is not a pleasant call.

If I was a lawyer I would have sued the Coll. agency and filed my own criminal and civil complaint. Defamation of character, libel, making false statements to police, admitting to a felony.

If only I had rich parents.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

13. Sounds like the cop is his brother in law,

Where I grew up there was a local cop always interjecting himself in his families disputes, which was often since this family had roughly the same level of socialization as Randy Weaver and picked fights with every family on the street.

[Warpy]

9. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

That's priceless.

I have little use for the prick who ripped off the hotel, but he does get props for name picking.

[WilliamPitt]

10. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES

:P

Nice one.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

17. i'm thinking of another quote,

I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet could go run up bills all over town.

[MrCoffee]

11. Mark it zero, Orlando chain hotel!

[upi402]

12. Working class can lose their home, become homeless

Assuming this was a credit card debt; VP Biden voted FOR the Bankruptcy Bill letting these asshats make you homeless - Unless you're rich.

"When researching the Democrat Senators that voted for the Bankruptcy bill, I found that the Senators from Delaware were the top recipients of campaign cash from the Finance/Credit Card industries. And I found that neither of them had any press releases explaining their votes for this bill. "
http://www.pacificviews.org/weblog/archives/000966.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2002205726_broder13.html
"This "reform," which parades as an effort to stop folks from spending lavishly on themselves and then stiffing their creditors by filing for bankruptcy protection, is a perfect illustration of how the political money system tilts the law against average Americans. "

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

14. I have no idea, but it is probably a scam of some sort.

[Blue_Tires]

15. yeah, i've had a bunch of collection calls come to my office the past few years

i work at a university, so i'm thinking some students just give some random office line as their "home" number...

[Old Codger]

16. LOL

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Eyerish]

18. LOL!!

I was hoping you'd repost this... :rofl:

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

19. It seemed worthy,

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

20. Somebody called it, Sarah called back...

"Hello Mr 714-555-5555, this is Sarah again"
Why would I even conceivably want to talk to you?
"Well, once we sort this out we will never call you again"
Well, I'm not a fictitious yellow octogenarian, what requires further clarification?
"I just need your name, address and social security number - and the claim will be written off as fraud"
You know, I would rather you just think I am Jasper Beardly.
"Sir, we can close the file without first correcting the file"
I don't care if you correct it or not, you don't know who I am and I like it that way.

I used to work on consumer bankruptcies, so I need no introduction to the tactics of debt collectors, needless to say I did not provide any information.

I am going to change my phone number again, but I am going to port this one to a Tracfone or something because my girlfriend wants a turn fucking with them and she does a great Grandpa Simpson impression.