However, I read a blog post this morning that helped clear some things up for me.
"Here’s the deal, if you don’t have insurance, you’ll be able to get the insurance you have to buy on the relative cheap on alternate Tuesdays in odd months that don’t have an “R” in them if you’re left handed and have less than two piercings and three tattoos. If you’re right-handed, you have to wait until the third blue moon in years that end in double digits after you fill out phone book sized applications in triplicate longhand on an IBM Selectric, but, that’s only if you haven’t worked or collected unemployment in a Midwestern state in your maiden name. If both parents had insurance, and died without a major covered illness, you’ll be able to purchase a base-level policy from a state run exchange if you’re under 6 feet, weigh less than 200 pounds, don’t yet qualify for Medicare, and can whistle “Yankee Doodle” through a straw on a kazoo. If you’re over 35 and still have your wisdom teeth, you can get the same coverage Congress gets if you get elected to office in an opposition district, or suck off a candidate for higher office in a public restroom, or down elevator.
Everybody else would be required to jump down, spin around, pick a bale of cotton swabs while singing the “Banana Boat Song“ as they smack a Hokey-Pokeying midget with a farm-raised sustainable fish, but, only if they promise their first-born to a underbridge dwelling troll married to a leprechaun still in possession of his pot o’ gold at midnight if their sun sign occurs during Daylight Saving Time in the Year of the Ox. Otherwise, only traditionally married non-military childless vegan atheist couples who pledge at least seven years of indentured servitude to an unindicted Wall Street non-TARP or stimulus recipient Bankster whose annual bonus is less than 200% of the total recovered bailout payback profit realized by the government in an election year would qualify.
From what I’ve read, there are other perks, requirements and benefits relative to the health care bill(s?) but, since I don’t have a PhD in Ancient Asian Advanced Algebra/Trig and its Implications, Nuances and Influences on Modern Judeo-Christian Philosophy, I’m having a hard time breaking it down into ABC English. However, when I hold the bill up to a steamy mirror page-by-page in candlelight backwards, I think it says we’re screwed."
http://cinie.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/health-care-whats-the-freakin-bottom-line/