Congress Distraught Over Fact That Not All Realize Their Contempt for Americans

[20score]

In an effort to further bipartisanship and clarify the Senate’s disdain for average citizens, Senators Baucus and Shelby have introduced S.8008, or the “We Slap You in the Face” bill. The House is working on a companion bill that should reach the president’s deck before June of 2010.

“It has been years since congress has done anything that benefits the average citizen,” said Senator Kyl of Arizona. “And yet there are millions of people out there that actually believe we work for them and not the corporations. We think it is well past time to remedy that tragic situation. That’s why I am proud to be a cosponsor of this bill.”

The bill will allow designated time for legislators to cruise various neighborhoods and slap citizens in the face at will. It also helps in time management by permitting senators to do the Sunday morning talk show circuit, with camera crews in tow, while going door to door slapping people in the face.

“How are we supposed get any fund raising done if we have to act like we care about some poor clown in our district,” said Senator Tom Colburn. “That is time consuming. Some of us need to line up lobbying jobs for the future.”

“It’s hard to believe we have to go this far to show where we stand,” opined Congressman Eric Cantor. “I mean really, with what we’ve done for the financial industry, the insurance companies and the energy cartels you think it would be obvious where we stand; but some people just don’t get it. So, this will leave no doubt. We will finally get to stop the pretense of working for the peons and concentrate on what we think is important.”

[FLAprogressive]

1. How pragmatic! Will be tough to see CNN or MSNBC taking their hands out of their pants for this one.

:P

[ShortnFiery]

2. LOL ... so true.

:rofl:

[suede1]

3. LOL

If the shoe fits... :)

[Ikonoklast]

4. Thank God for the Second Amendment, then.

I see lots of special elections in Repub districts.

[ihavenobias]

5. Proud to be rec # 11. n/t

[20score]

7. Thanks!

Seeing how it was a TYT video that gave me the idea....

[hansberrym]

6. No doubt they will relish the opportunity to personally collect the fines

for non-payment of health insurance.

[20score]

8. .

Oops, I meant desk.

Could try to play it off as my Chicago accent, but that would be dishonest.

[punkin87]

9. LOL!!! Perfect.

Really did laugh out loud.

[20score]

12. :)

[punkin87]

17. Back at you:-)

[troubledamerican]

10. Sorry, this satire still can't beat the Citizens United ruling

[20score]

11. Well, that was a tough act to follow.

[Suich]

13. Excellent, 20score!

K & R!

:hi:

[20score]

14. Suich! Great to see you again!

[suede1]

15. I see you posted this on FB.

Cool

[20score]

18. Yep.

Thanks.

[suede1]

16. I'l give you a kick, John.