A child of mine has lost his way,

[Are_grits_groceries]

and I don't think he's going to find his way back.

He's not my son. He's a cousin, but I babysat him. I was close enough to watch him grow. The last I knew he had his doctorate and was working in a research facility.

Then I found out last night that he had been busted for making meth. It's the second time. I don't know how he didn't get time for the first bust.

I made the mistake of hunting up a source that would have the story. It took a while and I should have known better. the story was dry and matter of fact.

The mugshot was not. You see pictures of tweakers and they are shocking. However, nothing will ever compare to the feeling of seeing someone you love look like that. He could have been Skeletor's son.

I could tell you a lot about what a kind and gentle person he was. It's a familiar song. His father has sucessfully fought off a rare form of cancer for years. I wonder if his son will ever be free and see his Daddy.

T.S.Eliot said that April was the cruelest month. I'm not real fond of March right now.

So I bring another tale of woe to DU. Let it sink as sadness does into the bones. There is an ache now for someone who was.

I hope he can find his way again. It would challenge Dante though. He's 32.

[Xenotime]

1. Sorry about your situation. Fortunatly, America is getting better at helping people like him.

[Liberal_in_LA]

15. +1

[seabeyond]

2. meth is a tough one. i am sorry for him. nt

[Lochloosa]

3. Are_grits_groceries hang in there.

4 years ago I found out my son was addicted to crack. If you knew him, you would have been as shocked as I was. It's been a struggle but he has been clean for over a year. If you had asked me the night I found out, I would have told you he was a walking dead man. Hang in there.

[michaelvincent]

17. Thank you

I was so happy to read your message. My son suddenly overdosed and was taken to the E.R. where he spent the night. What a way to find out about your son! Anyway, he is in recovery and I was so happy to hear that it can be done!:hi:

[Lochloosa]

23. It can be done.

I word of warning. It will have to come from him. Be there as much as you can but DO NOT let him ruin your life. There will be high points and low points. You will just have to always remember that it is a disease and account for that.

Knowledge is key. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

[annabanana]

4. How heartbreaking.

If he can pull around it will be a feat of near-superhuman strength. I sincerely hope he can. If he cannot, you will mourn the child he was, the young man of promise, and the kindness & gentleness you knew. That goodness has already been introduced into the universe, and will always be there.

[Dinger]

5. Hugs From Me

I know, all too well what you're going through. If it's any consolation, time does help, and sometimes things do work out. I'll be thinking about you.
:hug:

[handmade34]

6. the grief of discovering that someone you love

is suffering is overwhelming. I am so sorry for your pain. We always hope for the best.

[Uben]

7. I really hate saying this Grits...

....but I've been through this with a niece. She was a beautiful blonde who aspired to be an actress.
Her parents sheltered her in her youth by sending her to private schools, hoping to keep her away from the nastiness that sometimes occurs in the public schools of Dallas, but it didn't help. Once she hit her twenties, she started hanging with the wrong crowd. Diagnosed as bi-polar and having to take meds to remain somewhat normal, the slide came quickly.....in and out of rehab centers for years. First it was cocaine, then meth. This was accompanied by boyfriends who were constantly being incarcerated for possession, battery, and theft. She could never seem to shake the habit, and wound up breaking into her parents home, and breaking their hearts in the process.
They have to hit bottom, and we prayed she would go to jail, just so her parents would know she was alive, and alright. She would disappear for months and no one knew if she was alive or not. It was killing her parents. She would eventually show up at the door, usually beat up by some piece 0f shit boyfriend, who never had the guts to come around. Everytime they thoguht this was the time she was going to turn it around. She's twenty-nine now, waiting for her scumhead, meth-addicted boyfriend to get out of prison...again. She's no longer allowed to stay in her parents home alone. They just can't trust her anymore.

If your cousin is in jail, at least he is alive, and has a chance. Until he hits bottom, and it may take a few times, he is lost. About all one can do is hope their life will get so miserable they have to turn it around or die. That's hard for a young man to do. Meth is a hard one to kick. At his age, there's not much you can do but pray he sees the light someday. Goodluck friend, and I hope he finds himself soon.

Uben

[Leftist Agitator]

31. "...If your cousin is in jail, at least he is alive"

Yeah, because nothing bad ever happens to people in prison...

:eyes:

[Sanity Claws]

8. I am so so sorry to hear

It must be heartbreaking to see someone you love look like that.

[LiberalLoner]

9. I'm so sorry. This is a heartbreaking story.

I feel so badly for you and my prayers are with your family and hopes that this will be the bottom for him and that he will recover from here on out. I know a lot about addiction because I come from a family of alcoholics, and I have seen it again and again, that a person has to hit their bottom before things get better.

I watch "Intervention" on A&E on Monday nights because the stories give me hope. When I see the addicts recovering and getting better and getting their lives back, it makes me happy.

This is a turning point in his life. I am praying he will get the help he needs now and that he will get his life back and become healthy.

[bobburgster]

10. I can relate to your pain.

My experience is with my son....he is on the right road now, but it is a daily fight against the urge.

[Vinnie From Indy]

11. Life is heartbreaking at times....I am sorry for your troubles!

Meth is a cruel, cruel mistress. In some respects, this young man is getting a second chance by being locked up. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but he is not going to be able to use while in the joint. The most critical time will be when he gets out. It has been my experience that getting the young person to move somewhere else is a big step forward. Getting him away from the people and influences that got him started is a major positive. Just my two cents.

Good luck! This is a very tough road for the whole family.

[MrScorpio]

12. Sorry, Bro

:hug:

[NYC_SKP]

13. Don't ever give up hope.

I know people who have successfully walked away from meth and all substances.

It's hard to do alone.

Don't let his sinking bring you down with him, but don't give up entirely either, if you can muster the strength.

You might be the one who makes a difference if and when Dante seeks to change.

Best wishes, stay strong.

NYC_SKP

[mike_c]

14. I've seen it too-- it's really tough getting back once you're an adult...

...and have slipped down that far. I know it can be done, but it takes real effort, and a lot of support.

:hug:, my friend.

[Brickbat]

16. I'm sorry. You and he are in my thoughts.

[Berry Cool]

18. I'm so sorry about this.

I will say a prayer that somehow he turns around...I don't know what else to do.

[LWolf]

19. .

I'm sorry.

:hug:

[Dappleganger]

20. Bless you

for your caring heart. Positive thoughts and prayers going up your way.

:hug:

[Stinky The Clown]

21. Please give NarAnon a try.

It becomes a bit more bearable when you know you're not alone.

You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.

Three C-words to keep close at hand.

[Subdivisions]

22. There is hope, AGG. Take it from me. I know. Help him if you can. n/t

[myrna minx]

24. I am so sorry.

:hug:

[Ilsa]

25. Don't give up on him. My beautiful sister-in-law, who passed away

March 3-13 of this year, lost her way, but found it again. She had to go to prison, but honestly, that was her "rock-bottom" and she rehabilitated. She became one of the best people I knew. She was honest, didn't didn't judge others, and did her best to help other people who were having a harder time than herself.

People, if given the right motivation AND assistance AND some good luck, can change their behavior. I wish your family well. I know it's hard to get all three of those conditions when you need them.

[Hekate]

26. Oh, dear God. I am so sorry, AGG.

:cry:
:hug:

Hekate

[canetoad]

27. Not much I can add to the wisdom

posted above. Just take care of yourself and remember that you can only control YOU not anyone else. Best wishes.

[SoCalDem]

28. He can make it back.. Our son did

We always thought that if he lived to be 21, it would be a minor-miracle.. he's a contributing member of society now at 33.

There were many really BAD years with him, but he finally saw the light.. he was "on" everything except heroin at one time or another. he spent time "in custody", but until HE decided he wanted a good life, NOTHING would make him change.

I hope your young guy gets that chance to recover:hug:

[proteus_lives]

29. I'm sorry.

My sister was in a similar situation years ago. Taking and dealing drugs. She ended up in California state prison for a while. She came out clean and now works at a shelter helping runaways and addicts.

Hopefully your cousin will find his way back but no one can help him. He has to do it himself.

[Saphire]

30. There is always hope. Don't give up...ever.

[malaise]

32. How sad

:grouphug:

[EFerrari]

33. 32 is still young. He can still grab his life back.

I have one that age in almost the same shape. He just finished a six week rehab course of unknown efficacy in custody and will likely be out soon.

You never know when a young person will hear something for the first time. Just put the net out. It's what you can do.

:grouphug:

[Atticus]

34. I know about this.

Meth is the one of the very worst, most addictive drugs known to man. Only Ecstasy really comes close to being as overwhelmingly addictive. Try it just once and you are addicted before you put the pipe down.

Ordinary counselling doesn't work. Meth is worse than cocaine. Worse than heroin. Worse than any pills.

Get him into a DRUG COURT program with a judge who knows what he or she is doing. If there isn't a drug court in your area, raise hell and ask why the hell not!

I could explain how it effects the human brain and give examples of tragedy and recovery. But, you don't have time for that. Uninterrupted, meth is nearly 100% fatal.

Good luck.