Women and Girls need to STOP BUYING THE BULLSHIT

[Rage Inc.]

I've had custody of my niece Stefanie for eight years now, my sister and brother-in-law having died in a car accident.

She's 15 now, and, today, she comes to me all excited about this new pill that's being advertised. Apparently, it makes you "feel fuller," so that you don't eat as much at your next meal.

Excuse me, but exactly how fucked UP is this??? The goddamn thing doesn't NOURISH you, it doesn't provide ANYTHING that's usable by the human body. It simply lowers your desire to commit the horrible sin of EATING!

To what end does this lovely, intelligent girl aspire? To go to bed underfed every night? For what purpose? That a New York fashion photographer or a Hollywood producer might deem her "acceptable," doubtless after numerous sexual assignations?

Look, everyone gets programmed by our society: Us guys are taught to be tough, while the gals are advised (read: coerced) to be attractive. But we all know that, in the past couple of decades, things have devolved FAR beyond those basic premises. Boys are actively encouraged by our corporate media (film, TV, advertising, video/online games) to be super-macho, violent, stone-cold SOBs, while girls are being told that slutty sexuality must be achieved as early as possible, preferably before they even hit puberty!

What's next? A drug that induces adolescence at age five??? And exactly how the hell am I supposed to protect Stefanie from all this PERVERSION of natural human development?????

[Donnachaidh]

1. you mean she hasn't found the pill that cuts her menstrual periods down to 4 a year yet?

Yikes -- wait till that thing becomes *cool*.

[LeftyMom]

10. That's just a repackaging of regular birth control pills.

You can do the same thing with any monophasic pill by skipping the sugar pills you take when it's time for your period. It works with the nuvaring too, you just pop the old one out after three weeks as normal but instead of waiting a week you go ahead and put the new one in right then.

For that matter, you can do that indefinitely and have no periods at all. Which, for some women with anemia or various problems with their periods, can be a very good idea and a potential alternative to ablation or surgery.

[Donnachaidh]

11. It can be a good thing until they develop cancer from screwing with their hormones

It's always the women who take the huge health risks. :eyes:

[LeftyMom]

12. Where's your evidence of that risk?

I can't seem to find any studies suggesting that. Overall, use of oral contraceptives reduces some cancers, increases others, and the net effect on lifespan seems to be positive based on what I've read.

[Demeter]

77. Well, My Daughter Lost Her Gall Bladder at 26

she was on Depo-provera to deal with her PCOS. The doctor said any birth control hormone treatment will do that--give a 20 something a gall bladder like a 50 year old.

[Scout]

78. i was on BC pills for many years in my 20s and 30s ... i'm 50, my gall bladder is fine n/t

[Demeter]

81. I too, but Depo-Provera is something else

according to my brief web search...

Also a friend in her 40's lost her gall bladder last year--she was on depo for endometriosis...

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

26. It really helps to have the facts.

[OKNancy]

66. Dancers and athletes having been doing this for years

I haven't heard of any problems at all.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

40. you yook the words right out of my mind...that is one scary pill and commercial. WTF?!?

[aikoaiko]

49. For women who suffer from hormone induced migraines, its just medicine.

[Name removed]

52. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[PassingFair]

57. You must be made to suffer for the sins of Eve!

And NO pain relief during childbirth for you, either!

:sarcasm:

[LynneSin]

65. If that was available 20 years ago I would have taken it

Trust me, 4 times is still too many times a year

[LiberalEsto]

71. That pill can be a godsend

My daughter, age 23, suffers horribly from premenstrual tension and severe cramps. The pain is so bad that it makes her throw up. Over the counter painkillers don't help, and she doesn't want to take anything that could be addictive. Her gynecologist put her on the once-every-three-months pill. Now she goes through this hell only 4 times a year instead of 12. I wish I could have taken this when I was younger, because I had a similar problem.

[RKP5637]

2. I agree with everything you've said and especially, "Look, everyone gets programmed by our society."

It is becoming a robotic dumbed down society. And we have media, corporations, republicans and a society in general more than willing to do it... IMO this society is degenerating into a bunch of 3rd world knuckle draggers. And it seems we are on autopilot right down the tubes. Many citizens have let go of the steering wheel... I'm not sure it it's a phase this country is going through or the permanent future.

[Rage Inc.]

5. There is only ONE country that can destroy America

Unfortunately, that country is America!

[RKP5637]

8. Ever so sadly true. I guess I'm at a loss to understand the US anymore. I know

if I were living outside of the US and saw everything going on I would have serious doubts of moving/living here. I find it a very unstable country and it's of our own doing. I am also stunned at the crap from the Rs. I'm used to people at one time sort of working together in politics to compromise for the good/success of the country.

[Kievan Rus]

17. I fear that "Idiocracy" may one day be a documentary

[RKP5637]

20. It gets closer and closer... they are probably already sketching out the content. n/t

[ElsewheresDaughter]

41. Watch the documentary "Orwell Turns in his grave" it explains it all quite clearly

[RKP5637]

47. Thanks!!! This looks quite interesting, I will watch it. Thanks again!!! n/t

:hi:

[lunatica]

68. Who would have thought Orwell would be the father of Idiocracy?!

His work was supposed to be a warning but it seems to have been turned into a blueprint by the Big Brother mentality of the GOP.

And Huxley's Brave New World has shown that the Idiocrats can be engineered. For now they're engineered through the propaganda of hate. They don't have to engineer Idiocratic embryos when you can manipulate their thinking. Who knew those books would actually be how to books?

Orwell and Huxley are both turning in their graves.

[JustAnotherGen]

3. Happy to

Recommend this!

[seabeyond]

4. yup. you are right on.

i have two boys. i prefer the boys than what a parent has to do to instil the self worth in the girls today, to avoid this.

it is all in the self worth

good luck on it...

[dustbunnie]

6. Talk to her... a lot.

It's normal for girls (and boys) her age to become warped and obsessed about physical attractiveness and how they can fit in with what they believe society wants from them. Don't forget what it was like when you were that age. Your hormones are going nuts, you've discovered the opposite sex and all those strange butterfly pangs in the tummy they cause. So of course they're going to make fledgling, awkward moves to achieve that perceived attractiveness. Tis in our genes.

As for the pill, find out what's in it and explain why it's bullshit. Tell her stuff about how foods like oatmeal and muesli will keep her filled but in a healthy way, plus add a great gloss to her hair and sheen to her skin (just like a thoroughbred). You'll have far more credibility with that approach than just dismissing her choice outright.

[Name removed]

13. Deleted sub-thread

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[riderinthestorm]

14. As the mother of two girls, your post is completely opposite of our experience.

"Normal for girls...to become warped and obsessed about physical attractiveness and how they can fit in with what they believe society wants from them"?????

Not in my world, and clearly not in "our" genes. Don't generalize.

I am offended both for myself and my daughters, and my nieces and many other fine young women who certainly rise above that kind of bullshit. Most of us aren't that shallow and stupid to think we're akin to livestock, worried simply about the "gloss of our hair", or the "sheen of our skin".


:puke:

[Name removed]

23. Deleted message

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[riderinthestorm]

27. So many ridiculous strawman arguments in your post but overarching

is your complete inability to comprehend the multidimensional personalities of young women and their ability to prioritize and grow. I'm sorry for the youngsters in your family. Part of getting a young person to realize they are brilliant is to make sure they think you BELIEVE they ARE brilliant. It's not always a perfect strategy, but it's a good starting point.

You apparently only think in terms of feed (your thoroughbred analogy) to enhance body self-esteem. But as a horse professional, you are dead wrong if you think it's just about food in creating perfect performance. It's also about that horse's housing, shoeing, handling, daily exercise, daily strokes (grooming but not just for sheen but mostly to stimulate the muscles in a passive resistance muscle enhancer), deworming, and most importantly the horse's relationship with the human that matters most. A horse has a brain the size of a walnut, so they are easily brought to peak performance if you understand the formula.

Young girls require ever so much more and are ever so much more complicated. I would never denigrate that process as you appear to want to do. You can't simply shove them off into some kind of stupid stereotype obsessing about zits.

[dustbunnie]

33. You know what? You're doing your very best to pick at every word and twist it completely.

In case you missed it, the OP was about some guy's niece who thinks that taking some pill will make her look better. What was the first line of my response? Oh yeah, it was "talk to her a lot."

Of course I know how complicated young men and women are. There is no need for me to go into some long-winded speech about how well I know how complicated teens are because we're all well aware of it. You may want to deny that teens have a lot on their plates, INCLUDING their insecurities and confusion about their physical selves, but then that's just as ignorant as what you accuse me of. The teens are a time of trial and error and they will make mistakes and miscalculate what their sexuality is and what it should be.

As for the oats comment, that was a practical fast answer to someone who's kid was taking a pill to try and get skinny. Part of the answer is to give the kid options and nutritional info, and the other part is to keep talking and trying to give the child some balance. If you have better advice than that, why don't you direct it at the OP instead of ranting at me with completely misconstrued bull about what I did and didn't say. I'm done with this crap.

[Name removed]

44. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[me b zola]

18. You compared a girl to a thoroughbred

If you got the gist of the post, it is for girls to have the strength to be who they are w/o falling to pressure to look a certain way to appease those who declare what is beautiful and what is not.

"just like a thoroughbred" :puke:

[Rage Inc.]

21. Amen

And thank you for understanding, my friend!

[me b zola]

30. I've spent a fair amount of time recently pondering the image of women

...and the un-natural way that women are pressured to present themselves. Not all women are born with the frame to satisfy those who believe that all women should look like models. And although some women stay oddly thin through menopause, it is not normal. Most women are meant to gain meat to them through-out their lives, roundness of a woman is normal.

I realize that as we have evolved we have learned how exercise leads to better health,and that is a good thing. But people confuse thinness with health. Big mistake. A woman can be beautifully curvy and round and still be healthy. It is the fashion & health insurance industries(and people who buy into their crap) that are pushing women into unrealistic body images. I don't even know what to think of the poster who compared girls/women to horses, then called me ignorant.

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

29. Deleted message

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[me b zola]

32. Feeding your children well doesn't make you a "cretin"

But comparing girls/women to horses makes me want to sweep under my bed.

[dustbunnie]

35. I compared healthy hair to a horse's coat. Achieved by eating a good diet.

Twist it from here to Tuesday and it doesn't change a thing.

[riderinthestorm]

36. Horses rarely eat just oats. Sorry but you don't know what you are talking about.

There are the rare ones who eat oats nowadays but most don't.

(30 years in the biz and know what I'm talking about.) Oh, and at least that long growing, mentoring and helping young women.

You are far too interested in simply the outward appearance of young women - their "healthy hair and skin", "great gloss on their hair".... All of your posts are only focused on the outward appearance and not on the inner soul.

It's very weird.

[Name removed]

38. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[KittyWampus]

69. Dustbunnie, your original post was fine. Some DU'ers just like to prove how smart and superliberal

they are and will attack the most innocuous post.

No, you shouldn't have to do a 5 paragraph preamble about talking to your kid and the importance of their inner life.

And since the subject was taking a pill to feel full, mentioning healthy fiber-filled food as an alternative method of achieving this (with added benefits to our outward appearance) is perfectly fitting.

The "expert" on horses is just attacking you because they need to feel superior and prove how much more they know about horses than you. Silly, but true.

[Name removed]

67. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[soleft]

7. I was surprised and delighted when I realized you were a guy

writing this. See - I've been programmed too. Sadly. Your words remind me a lot of my partner's writing, who's written and spoken out a lot about this bullshit. A lot of women and young women have been helped by and have seen themselves in her essays.

if you want to check them out, it might help you in terms of what to say to your neice, you can find them here at www.kimwrites.com

[Initech]

9. You should have her watch Bill Hicks' take on marketing and advertising:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo

[Kievan Rus]

15. So many people are so shallow these days

No wonder the MSM treated Tiger Woods' scandal like it was man landing on the moon and the death of Jacko like it was 9/11.

[Rage Inc.]

19. Indeed

And I claim no immunity: I shall be watching The Masters and rooting for Tiger, a man with $958 million in his bank account whom I've never met.

[Skittles]

31. I'll claim immunity

yeah Tiger, you're good at golf, I GET IT - now go try another sport

[riderinthestorm]

16. RUN to the bookstore, asap, and get "Reviving Ophelia".

That book explains so many ways to empower our young women to ignore the stereotypes about girls and women today, and how to "grow" a self-aware, confident person able to navigate the minefield of body stereotypes, image warfare, and low self-esteem for females.

As the mother of 2 fine young women (22 and 13 years old), and a mentor to uncountable others... I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

[seabeyond]

22. i am going to have to check that book out. thank you. nt

[riderinthestorm]

28. I've given it away as a gift at least 100x over. Hope you enjoy it. nt

[defendandprotect]

39. Absolutely, Wonderful book . . . but did you know .. .

How busy the right wing is in using trust worthy names/themes to distort and

confuse the pubic, young women?


The Ophelia Project is a national organization formed to eradicate relational

aggression and bullying. The name,taken from Mary Piper's "Reviving Ophelia,

a book dedicated to goving adolescent girls a voice, is now being used by the

movement to stifle it.

"Starting in the early 2000s, our popular culture was afire with news of a massive

upsure ingirl-to-girl cruelty. Windows letting us peer into the darkly vicious

world of girldom came from a rash of books: Rachel Simmon's "Odd Girl Out,"

Emily White's "Fast Girls," Rosalind Wiseman's "queen Bees and Wannabees," Haylen

DiMarco's "Mean Girls" and "Mean Girls Gone."

Some of the books -- Odd Girl Out, for example -- also advise girls how to develop

their own identities, but that message got buried underneath the meanness hype.

"Adolescent bitchery" made for major coveage. A few of the authors appeared on the

Oprah Winfrey Show and saw their works win spots on bestseller lists. The most

popular purveyor of this new genre have fully booked calendars of training sessions,

workshops, and conferences. The Ophelia Project . . . See above

This is from the Sexism in America -- Unpopular Culture chapter


You might also recall that the real history of Susan B. Anthony has also now been

kidnapped by the right wing -- specifically "anti-abortionists" who have opened a

Susan B. Anthony Museum. Someone here just recently posted an article on that

distortion!

This book -- Sexism in America -- Alive, Well, And Ruining Our Future" was at my

library -- it's new -- may also be at your library?


:)

[Number23]

46. Thanks for recommending. Found this which seems to address the issues of young women of color

My Sisters' Voices: Teenage Girls of Color Speak Out (Paperback)

After reading Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia and Sara Shandler's Ophelia Speaks, 18-year-old biracial Jacob felt her "struggle had not been truly identified... in addition to bearing the weight of being teenagers and female, we also carry the enormous issues of race and ethnicity." While she admits that her literary answer to this struggle won't solve all of the world's problems, it might empower adolescent girls of color. Jacob solicited works from teens across the country, writing thousands of letters to friends, English teachers and social organizations. The result is a stirring collection of essays and poems detailing the coming-of-age experiences of a diverse group of young women identified by name, age and ethnicity.

http://www.amazon.com/My-Sisters-Voices-Teenage-Girls/dp/080506821X/ref=pd_sim_b_3

[defendandprotect]

34. Just reading "Sexism in America - Alive, Well, And RUINING our Future --

by Barbara J. Berg --

This is a continuing right wing backlash to female progress and does take

a great toll on the lives of young women, their potential, their dreams --

Luckily she has someone like you caring for her!!


:)


PS:

And just noticed someone talking about the wonderful book -- "Reviving Ophelia" and

posted this from the book I'm referring to . . . you may be interested?


QUOTE --

How busy the is right wing in using trust worthy names/themes to distort and

confuse the pubic, young women?


The Ophelia Project is a national organization formed to eradicate relational

aggression and bullying. The name,taken from Mary Piper's "Reviving Ophelia,

a book dedicated to giving adolescent girls a voice, is now being used by the

movement to stifle it.

"Starting in the early 2000s, our popular culture was afire with news of a massive

upsurge in girl-to-girl cruelty. Windows letting us peer into the darkly vicious

world of girldom came from a rash of books: Rachel Simmon's "Odd Girl Out,"

Emily White's "Fast Girls," Rosalind Wiseman's "queen Bees and Wannabees," Haylen

DiMarco's "Mean Girls" and "Mean Girls Gone."

Some of the books -- Odd Girl Out, for example -- also advise girls how to develop

their own identities, but that message got buried underneath the meanness hype.

"Adolescent bitchery" made for major coverage. A few of the authors appeared on the

Oprah Winfrey Show and saw their works win spots on bestseller lists. The most

popular purveyor of this new genre have fully booked calendars of training sessions,

workshops, and conferences. The Ophelia Project . . . See above

This is from the Sexism in America -- Unpopular Culture chapter


You might also recall that the real history of Susan B. Anthony has also now been

kidnapped by the right wing -- specifically "anti-abortionists" who have opened a

Susan B. Anthony Museum. Someone here just recently posted an article on that

distortion!

This book -- Sexism in America -- Alive, Well, And Ruining Our Future" was at my

library -- it's new -- may also be at your library?


:) UNQUOTE


Also, it's never too early for Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" which explains

so much of how culture was used to crush female ambition, spirit, hopes and dreams in

the years Post-WWII. This is just the same pattern repeating itself, with increased

aggressiveness and viciousness. Right wing never sleeps!

[Cid_B]

37. "super-macho, violent, stone-cold SOBs"

Ahem.. I disagree...

Exhibit A : Robert Pattison (the skinny metro guy from Twilight.) This is the modern media male image.

If anything, modern males are encouraged to not be macho, never fight and be in touch with their inner feelings and then share them ( possibly while shedding a tear)

[Ex Lurker]

42. I'm not so sure about that

the Twilight character is aimed squarely at female perceptions of the ideal male. I don't think many guys see him as a role model at all. In fact, he seems to evoke quite a bit of hostility. There are any number of facebook groups expressing sentiments like "I want to punch Robert Pattinson in the face."

[Cid_B]

43. Some validity there...

but compared to "ye olden days" there is still a gap. As I run through my head I see more of the Pattinson (touchy feely)"role models" than the Stallone/Dwayne Johnson etc.. types

In other words even if they are trying to appeal to females with the sensitive type it shows something has changed since the macho types were sold to both sides of the aisle.

_______________

Second thought - Most of the guys who want to punch the "girly men" in the face are a product of my generation(late 20s to early 30s). Makes me wonder what the younger set will grow up into. Slap fights and group hugs at the flag pole at 3 o'clock.

(Not sure if this is readable. Its still early)

[Ex Lurker]

45. there's gotta be a happy medium

I will never be mistaken for a Pattinson type--my physical type more closely resembles the neanderthal, and I don't see anything wrong with that. But the day I quit trying to act like the stereotypical tough guy, and decided to just be unfailingly nice, was the day my romantic life turned around completely. I went from not being able to get a date to having more attention from women than I knew what to do with. And again, I'm far from being a matinee idol.

[Kitty Herder]

51. LOL

My understanding is that girls are crazy about Pattinson because they're crazy about the vampire he plays. You couldn't find a better example of a "violent, stone-cold SOB." Literally stone cold. (That's why your post made me laugh.)We're talking about an extremely dangerous and violent character. But not macho in the traditional sense. Girls hate that.

But yeah, as for Pattinson himself, men and boys seem to hate him for not being macho enough. Girls like that lack of machismo, though.

[Cid_B]

55. Touche...

I was about to have a Twilight discussion but decided I just can't do it.

In any case my kids will have full access to all the nice happily violent, dripping with testosterone movies I grew up with (books too.) We'll see if it sticks...

[Kitty Herder]

48. Amen.

The media is destroying our children's mental health with their propaganda, convincing them that they must be something they're not, something inhuman.

Men and boys needs to stop buy the B.S. too.

[eShirl]

50. an apple will make you feel fuller, too

[DailyGrind51]

53. What about the "muscle-heads" who take Creatine, Andro, and related supplements?

They have had many frightening side-effects, like kidney and liver damage, and shrunken testicles, but these things still sell.

[Cid_B]

56. My testicles are just fine thank you...

It's a matter of education and actively figuring out what you are adding to your body. The vast majority of the trouble comes from the "If 2 are good, then 8 must be awesome". I'm looking at you, ephedra users.

[seabeyond]

58. you are taking "supplements" to make your body "nice happily violent, dripping with testosterone"

movies and media present as male that you want to teach your boys is the "natural" being of male?

wow

[Cid_B]

60. After muddling through that grammatical garbage...

I'll just take the gist of it and respond...

While I make no universal claim as to how all men should be I know what works for me and what I would want to pass on to my kids. I like being big, strong and a gym rat. I enjoy violent movies and have even been known to wrestle/box/tussle with friends. Conan the Barbarian is one of my favorite characters of all time. (PS. The daughters can watch as well)

Don't worry though... I've got a warm sensitive fuzzy side I save for people just like you SB. I'm what you call well-rounded.

[seabeyond]

61. having grown up in a family of an abundance of manly men testostrone

being in a highly competitive sport for two decades and the vast majority of people i hung out with where/are guys and men.... i have not a single issue with who you want to be. that was not the point of the op and not what people were discussing.

to suggest there is not a conditioning of both our young male and female population on "who" they are suppose to be in such an unhealthy and unbalanced manner, to be acceptable in this society is head in the sand mentality.

and hopefully as you raise your boys, and girls in the manliness of men, you will also discuss the behaviors of true men, character that truly makes them strong and of real value to this society, in relationships and to themselves.

warm and fuzzy and sensitive? whatever that is. i prefer honest and aware and insightful

[DailyGrind51]

63. They are fine NOW, but just wait another ten years!

"What are the dangers of andro?
In some ways, users should be grateful that andro doesn't live up to its ad copy. A sudden 400 percent increase in testosterone could set off extreme aggression and possibly damage the liver, according to a team doctor for the National Baseball Association. Still, the Iowa State study of 20 men who took andro suggests that the supplement can pose serious risks. The subjects who took andro had a 12 percent drop in their HDL cholesterol (the good kind), a change that would likely increase the risk of heart disease in longtime users.

Researchers suspect prolonged use could lead to other problems. Elevated levels of andro in the blood may promote cancer of the pancreas and prostate; men concerned about prostate problems, in particular, should avoid it. Theoretically, andro could also cause bone growth problems in children, premature labor during pregnancy, and masculinization in women, including male-pattern baldness, according to the Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database.

And although none of the subjects showed side effects from their revved-up estrogen levels, it's conceivable that any man who took the supplement long enough would risk growing breasts. Good luck finding that on a warning label.

-- Chris Woolston, M.S., is a health and medical writer with a master's degree in biology. He is a contributing editor at Consumer Health Interactive, and was the staff writer at Hippocrates, a magazine for physicians. He has also covered science issues for Time Inc. Health, WebMD, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. His reporting on occupational health earned him an award from the northern California Society of Professional Journalists."

https://www.caremark.com/wps/portal/HEALTH_RESOURCES?topic=andro#s17

[a la izquierda]

54. coming from a woman who's had severe eating disorders...

i commend you for trying to help your neice. i've got my issues under control, but it's taken me 15 years (case in point- i just quit smoking and gaine 17 pounds, but i didn't sweat it).
i do, however, have an extreme aversion to most things hollywood/entertainment industry. i think the "industry" is totally complicit in the objectifying of girls and women into these unrealistic images.

[Rage Inc.]

70. Of course they are!

These middle-aged men, a lot of them short, fat and balding, want an endless supply of young females who've drunk their Kool-Aid, gotten numerous "augmentations," and are willing to do anything to be the next supernova to shine bright and burn out.

The top dogs of the entertainment industry are, in my humble opinion, mostly a gaggle of dirty old men.

[blue neen]

59. I get what you're saying.

I'm a middle-aged woman, had been thin all my life basically without trying. I have recently gained 25 pounds because of having to take an anti-depressant medicine. I feel great, am lucky enough to be completely healthy, BUT I'm being extremely hard on myself because of that 25 pounds! Women are programmed to try to look perfect, and it's sick!

I should know better because I'm now 54 years old. The programming is pounded into our brains by media, commercials, the fashion industry, drug companies, ad infinitum.

Thank you for posting your thoughts...you made me think about my own situation--and to take it a little easier on myself. Good luck with your niece. There were some excellent suggestions on this thread.

[Bunny]

62. Did you hear the latest study which claims that middle aged women

now need to exercise at a moderate rate for one hour PER DAY just to avoid weight gain. Yes, seven days/week. Not to lose weight, just to keep from gaining weight. Never mind that some weight gain is normal as you age.

It makes me think that the next exercise I get will be walking to the nearest bridge so I can jump off. :eyes:

[seabeyond]

64. next exercise I get will be walking to the nearest bridge

bah ha

that is funny

dont know that i am buying it yet, though. i heard the study yesterday. i seem to gain when i buy a box of sees candy. and stay at same weight when i dont have a box of sees in the house. exercise seems to be what i get thru normal activity of my day, as i move thru it quickly. but then i am not sure what age they are talking about.

[Rage Inc.]

72. Kicking for young DUers in the Eastern (and maybe Central) Time Zone

I hope you learned something valuable in school today, and I hope it had nothing to do with television! :hi:

[Touchdown]

73. I'll tell you how to avoid the hype... after I get my new iPad.

:evilgrin:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

74. you know it!

It's sexism, and it's killing us all.

A book I just found out about, that I have GOT to read: Sexism in America: Alive, Well, and Ruining Our Future
~ Barbara J. Berg PhD

From Publishers Weekly
Sexism hasn't gone away, argues journalist/activist Berg, it has simply adapted to our changing culture. Berg offers a refresher course on the 20th-century women's rights movement and its unexpected devolution in recent years, drawing on aspects of culture like advertising and reality TV, scientific research and an online survey of 300 not-so-randomly selected women and interviews with 200 more.
"Reminding us that the 'personal is political,' this book will provide women with an unambiguous understanding of a broader pattern of gender inequality." —Miriam Forman-Brunell, professor of history, University of Missouri–Kansas City; author, Girlhood in America: An Encyclopedia

"In no-nonsense fashion, Berg lays out the case for a renewed feminist movement that can be at the center of progressive politics. Her passion and humor demonstrate why feminism is not a threat to us men but a gift." —Robert Jensen, University of Texas–Austin, author, Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity

"Sweeping vision, sharp wit, and in-depth research . . . a road map to how the Far Right and conservative religious forces succeeded in pushing women's rights back from victories in the 1970s into an era in which women must begin again." —Rita Henley Jensen, editor in chief, Women's eNews

[pitohui]

75. well i don't blame you for being angry

thing is, nor do i blame her for wanting to be beautiful -- the money a woman can make being beautiful in this society dwarfs anything she can make by hard work

i don't think it's right, i don't think it's fair but take a look around at how many women have jumped thru the hoops to get a phD in nuclear physics and what they earn -- and then look at what a model, actress, or pop singer earns (and some pop singers don't even have a voice, prime example madonna)

girls and women are put in a tough position in this society and those who realize that they're mostly valued because of their physical youth and beauty are just being realistic

the people
who lied to me and told me that my looks didn't matter and i could do anything w. my life did me no favors, they were ALSO trying to sell me something -- in my case, an education that was worthless for a woman of my generation because i wasn't going to be allowed to get anywhere in that field

[Rage Inc.]

79. Nuclear physicists generally don't kill themselves at age 22!

Or 25, or 28. When we look at Britney/Lindsey/Paris, aren't we really observing some watered-down versions of Shauna Grant?

My niece is a smart young lady: I shall NOT give her over to the perverts without a fight!

[Xenotime]

76. Isn't that called Dexitrim?

[NuttyFluffers]

80. people need to substitute their body issues with finding a good tailor and stylist...

trust me, a good tailor can make anyone, of any shape or size, look and feel beautiful. put that cheap shapeless blank of a dress or suit back, grab a long lasting, well-made outfit, and run -- don't walk -- to the nearest professional tailor. then go to an excellent professional cosmetologist (y'know, the ones that charge more than $15 for a cut 'n color) and get yourself did. a good cut on a suit and a good cut on your hair should last much longer, and in the long run be cheaper, than buying cheap junk that makes you look like shit and feel inadequate.

$45 on the hair today should last 3-6 months if it's real good. $100+ on tailoring today should make that Goodwill suit or dress last years. and both will make you feel more beautiful for far less than the $$$$ it takes to supplement crappy gear.

remember people, cheap is expensive; invest in quality to avoid being nickeled and dimed later.

[Rage Inc.]

82. I hope that you're kidding!

Otherwise, I'm incredulous that you actually made it to 1,000+ posts!

[NuttyFluffers]

83. of course not. how you dress yourself is your style, but a professional can help your vision!

body image is a creation of societal expectations. the neuroses comes from an unattainability of such societal expectations. now, outside of body modification, the easiest way to achieve a semblance of such expectations is through the illusions of fashion expertise. literally, makeup is magic and tailors can work miracles.

now the really fun part of these fashion people is that they will readily tell you that fashion models (and the expectations they are used to perpetuate) are an Nth of 1% of the human population. then, if you have a good professional stylist, they will be gently honest with you and tell you to love yourself -- while attempting to get as close as possible to the illusionary effect you want to achieve. after a while these same stylist, wanting your repeat business, will comment that you have other assets that are beautiful and try to steer you away from a self-destructive spiral of unreasonable expectations. this then leads you down the path of dressing for your shape, face, silhouette, tone, hair, etc. and showing you how to play up or play down various facets of yourself. in the end you realize beauty is something far more manageable in your hands than is generally perceived.

this is where self-acceptance and personal style development comes in. after you see how close you can achieve certain looks, and then are redirected into attempting potentially easier looks specific to your current condition, you can disassociate from the artificial normative conventions in popular culture. you realize you can play up your natural state and play down other things. and finally this leads to an understanding that beauty is a spectrum -- not a cut-out. this is important, because realizing there is a spectrum, and that you have some control, gives you license to visualize your own style. finally your thinking is liberated from imposed cultural expectations to personal creativity -- and that creativity can even take you into a rejection of certain aesthetic principles!

but the principle of liberation is always the same: educate about basics, empower with techniques, realize the artificiality of the system, finally liberate the creative impulse. by utilizing the professionals' knowledge you begin to walk the path of personal body image liberation and undo the narrow confines of dimly understood commercial aesthetics. commercial fashion need to stay in business by selling to an elite clientele, and next selling an elite image to the rest who want to emulate the elites. this leads to deliberately selling an unattainable image in an effort to project exclusivity -- which people then directly internalize that they are not worthy when they do not fit. good professional stylists need to stay in business, but instead of an international brand they must work on a very intimate retail level. so their goal is the happiness of their direct customers for repeat business. this in turn leads stylist pros to try to undo the damage of personal self-defeatism developed by the in-fighting of commercial high fashion chasing after a few elites.

sorta like the difference between a megabank fighting over massive hedge/mutual funds versus local credit unions building up the community. one chews up small customers and spits them out, the other tries to nurture them back into a healthy reassessment of self.

[nadinbrzezinski]

84. May I recommend something?

Show your niece how those models become ahem so thin.

Yep, the airbrushing part, that lengthens legs to impossible lengths and takes all kinds of defects off from not so perfect skins.

Make her aware of how the media does this.

Yes, GO BUY a couple copies of seventeen, and Cosmo (I looked at them the other day at the dentist and almost gagged) and teach her how to decipher adds.

Chiefly let her know that she is good the way she is, and that SHE is valuable.

By the way, if you can enroll her in a media studies class, even this young, you'll do her a favor. That is how you protect her, by givin' her the damn tools.

And good luck, but I must say, ever since I took that college class in media studies way back in the day, I see commercials, and overall TV with a whole different eye. I mean SCRUBS is hilarious, but not for the reasons most people find it funny. Oh and the Daily Show and Colbert go into that on the edges which is one reason I love them. I realize why they really do not go into it full force... biting hand and feeding mostly, but still.

Oh and good luck, t'is avalanche is not easy to fight.