THE ONION: Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis

[kpete]

"Can you imagine what'd it be like if he weren't just half black?"

Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis

By Dan Laird
November 24, 2009 | ISSUE 45•48

I take pride in who I am. Always have, always will. I've worked hard my whole life and have never taken anyone's charity, and I'm not about to start now, no matter what. I'm telling you, there's no way I'm going to sit back and let some black president of the United States try to devise a structure to help me pay for the dialysis treatment I so desperately need to survive.

Not over my dead body.

Just who does this Afro-American occupant of the highest office in the land think he is, anyway? Look, I've got nothing against black people, but some of them act like the whole world owes them something. For example, important government subsidies on my dialysis.

You know, I don't recall asking for some black commander in chief to embrace protections that would prohibit insurance companies from dropping my coverage on a whim and operating as if my continued existence on earth were nothing more than a strategic liability. Plus, if I go along with this progressive health-benefits scheme, he'll probably hold it over my head every time I receive vital care with the aid of the government to which I already pay taxes.

the rest:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/like-hell-im-going-to-let-some-black-president-hel,11509/

[Bluebear]

1. Brilliant :)

[RoyGBiv]

2. Nailed it ...

... as usual.

[etherealtruth]

3. I actually could not laugh at this

The quotes and situation are so very plausible .... this could have come from the mouth of any teabagger

[MindandSoul]

5. Yes! Just like the signs "get government out of my medicare!!!!"

Many of those people are really not that bright you know!

[HughBeaumont]

8. I thought it was sugar-coated compared to what the TeaBirthers spew.

[Joe Chi Minh]

9. ... or a Monty Python sketch. Though the madness would be too outlandish to

European ears - even for a Monty Python sketch.

[progressoid]

13. I know the feeling.

Often I find the Onion a little too close to reality to be funny.

[emulatorloo]

4. WOW -- Another classic from the ONION. THNKS for Posting n/t

[my2sense]

6. .

[cilla4progress]

7. Captures it perfectly!

[optimator]

10. this would be funny if

anything in the HCR actually helped pay for medical care...

[bahrbearian]

11. Que Gus Porter

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/618fb6cbf2/gus-porter-american-legend-with-thomas-haden-church

[Quantess]

12. Thanks for the laugh.

[DevonRex]

14. Booyah! nt