I got an e-mail from "friends" and it upset me so much I want to send a good response

[Robyn66]

I have some friends I went to college with. I love them, they are godparents of one of my daughters but they have turned out to be UNBELIEVABLY conservative!

I make every effort to keep politics out of when we get together, because it will only get UGLY but every now and then I get these right wing nut propaganda e-mails that just make me sick. This one I got yesterday and it made me so upset I was up from 4am this morning still thinking about it and trying to figure out how to respond. It was offensive on so many levels.

This e-mail was about some emergency room doctor who was talking about treating someone with a gold tooth and a fancy cell phone etc and if they didn't have that stuff they could pay for health care and we shouldn't be paying for health-care for "those people"

It was a classic "welfare queen" kind of e-mail. It smacked not only of not giving a shit if people died for lack of health care but racism as well. These are people who, when I asked them

If an undocumented immigrant had a life threatening contagious disease, would it be better to treat him at a hospital or would you rather see someone check for his green card and upon not finding it, have him arrested. They said either have him arrested OR quarantine him, airest him and deport him.

SO we don't talk politics. Yet they feel its ok to send these offensive e-mails to me.

Well I feel its necessary to respond to this one.

Any ideas on a diplomatic way to respond because I am seeing red right now!!

[Texasgal]

1. I wouldn't argue.

I would simply send something like " Please refrain from sending these types of e-mails in the future" No reason needed. They'll know where you stand!

[EFerrari]

2. "This reads like one of those bogus stories that extremists send

out all over the internet without even checking them. Who would send you such a thing? I really dislike getting these things."

And then change the subject.

[uppityperson]

7. That is a really good reply. If you start trying to answer, it gives them more time

to talk about it.

[Gormy Cuss]

25. +1

Although I'd change extremists to "naive people." That's a polite way of saying ignorant.

[EFerrari]

26. Your revision works better.

:thumbsup:

[arcane1]

3. My dad forwards me "Obama jokes" and such things all the time

I don't even open them, I don't want to know.

What worries me is that I'll be in Richmond VA for 12 days next month, staying with my family, and over the week of April 19th too. It's going to be a long month :(

[Hekate]

32. Long walks and cold showers. Say you like "the Hawai'ian" and leave the room. ...

One family get-together when my mother was driving me and everyone else nuts (mostly me) my youngest sister-in-law cracked me up (we were alone in the kitchen at that moment) by assuming a fake meditative pose with her eyes rolled back and moaning Ommmmmmmm.

Good luck and blessings to you, arcane. We can't choose our relatives.

Hekate

[Paulie]

4. Tell them the truth

"I love you, but if you send this crap to me again or anything similar, I'll just disown you. If you don't know why your email is crap, then I don't want you around my kids."

No more being diplomatic with insane people, it just encourages them.

[adigal]

20. I have said this to good friends, also, and don't see them anymore

After they told me the Iraqis wanted to march down my street, and put me in a burka, and sent me offensive emails about the poor, bloodsucking members of society (read: Black people,) I finally said, "Please don't send my any more of your hate-filled emails. You say you are Christians and go to mass every week, and then send things that show such a hatred for the poor and sick. I don't think Jesus was a conservative."

Since then, we are cordial when we see each other, but friendly no more. I don't miss them.

[KatyMan]

21. That's what needs to be said

Why should they get a pass? Why do conservatives get to send these sorts of email or post shit on Facebook and not get called on it? I respond to every post or email I get on subjects like this. Of course, I come from a family of 9 and only 1 or 2 still speak to me :)
My take that got me in trouble was this: my brother's wife has/had breast cancer. My daughter is studying acting in college, and was happy about HCR because she can pursue her masters and still be on our insurance. It's a good thing. Well, this sis in law got all on her on FB saying 'why should I pay for your healthcare so you can follow your dream' etc etc (pretty nasty stuff). I was ostracized from the family when I mentioned this person's cancer: her husband (my older brother) works for a small company and because of this person's treatment, everyone's health insurance at that company went up something like 40%. I asked her why should everyone at his company have to pay for her illness? Did she offer to take up the slack for everyone? I was simply following her logic re: healthcare.

So that's my tale of woe: don't let this sort of shit go by unchallenged, but be prepared to be shunned!

[uppityperson]

5. Capping a tooth costs less healthwise in the long run, phones can be gifts

However, if they are the racist bigots they appear to be, ignore and block them,or tell them that bigoted emails are no longer welcome by you.

For specifics, a crowned tooth costs less than pulling it, for the person's health in the long run. MANY people who used to have jobs with insurance benefits that paid for this have been laid off in this recession and now don't have insurance. Same goes for "fancy" cell phones. It may have been bought back when they had a job, or was a present, or bought for minimal amount on ebay.

Ask them if they happened to get laid off, would they still like to be seen at an emergency room, or should they be turned away? What does HCR have to do with someone having a health emergency anyway?

[Hekate]

31. The spam may be referring to a decorative gold tooth in front. I don't think it's about dentistry...

... per se, although maybe the spamsters want the unworthy poor to be toothless as well as without means of communication.

Hekate

[Cleita]

6. Sounds like a lie anyway.

I agree with asking them not to send emails like this unless they can send proof of what they are alleging, which they can't. That means they would have to get an affidavit from the ER doctor testifying that his allegations are true. Good luck with that. Actually, I have a couple of gold crowns, because I'm over seventy but nowadays dentists use porcelain crowns instead, in my experience, and I have a mouthful of crowns. I suppose they renege any one getting dental care as well.

[SPedigrees]

19. Crowns are gold, but some have a porcelain coating.

I have both, gold in the back where they don't show (although I can look at them when I want) and porcelain covered gold in front.

[Lil Missy]

8. You can't have an intelligent conversation with an unarmed person.

[Hello_Kitty]

9. Hell, we have a lot of people right here on DU who feel the same way about the uninsured

They are convinced that young healthy people are squandering their considerable disposable income on bling and plasma TVs and that's why everyone's insurance premiums are so high.

[lib2DaBone]

10. There are still some out there that believe they can be part of the "Investor Class"..

Hold outs from Reaganomics... they bought into the idea of voting against their own best interests for so long.. it's hard for them to change.

They have their mutual funds and stock portfolios and they actually think that someone in Washington cares about what is best for the USA... lol.. silly fools...

[CC]

11. What I do with stuff like this is

reply all with something like this:
This sounds like the same rhetoric that makes the rounds on a regular basis. Please do not send me stuff like this as it is racist, bigoted and could/should get a person fired if they use their work email for receiving/sending such rhetoric. Thank you, CC

So far I have never had to do it for any one person more than once. I have gotten replies back on it being a good call. Those that got upset over a reply all I ask what the problem was since they felt it was ok to forward to all, it was just my opinion on what they shared. :evilgrin:

[uppityperson]

28. That is a VERY good reply. Thank you, will copy this.

[clu]

12. sarcasm

I've been a forum regular on the internet for a while. At this point I've noticed that you'll never convince them directly unless they're ready to change their mind. What I'm trying to do nowadays is to respond with a little sarcasm so they understand how absurd ideas can be - like a caricature of their response. The corollary for yours would be tough.

To be honest though, I think the only thing that matters is that everyone could work to be a little better. Some people learn well from their parents, but others don't have good parents to learn from. The debate about whether or not we should let the unfortunate starve to death on the streets is the debate we have with teabaggers. I'm of the opinion that people can change. I've seen well-to-do people rip someone off because they don't like them, and I've seen poor people steal from others because they don't have much of their own. Other people might work at a job just long enough to collect unemployment - I know a conservative like this, and I don't know how they do it.

I have some family members and in-laws who are bums, and it sucks, but that's life. Conservatives have a point when they say that certain types of safety nets can perpetuate the behavior, but it's foolish to cut off aid to everyone as a result. We can either do a few things with deficit spending. We can spend the money in iraq or afghanstan. We might also choose to pay the underemployed to shuttle around construction material for green energy projects. We could also spend the money on paying these docs to treat the uninsured.

One thing is clear - there are going to be a few paradigm shifts in the next century and it would be wise to plan steering around them.

[Brewman_Jax]

13. Standard RW hypocrisy

and racism. You could ask them how would THEY feel in the same situation. Considering the economic climate, other than a job, there's not much difference between your RW "friends" and "those people".

There, but for the grace of God...

[mainstreetonce]

14. another email

I was just looking for a place to post an email I got and request help with how to answer it. I think this might be an appropriate place.

The email:
Subject: An idea whose time has come

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress.
Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the
same pay after only one term, that they didn't pay into Social Security,
that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have
passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual
harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest
is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform that is being
considered...in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We
do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are
Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.
This is a good way to do that. It is an idea whose time has come.

---------------------
Any help with an appropriate response would be appreciated. Thanks

[Bunny]

15. What would you consider to be an appropriate response?

How do you feel about the issue raised in the email? :shrug:

[grasswire]

16. "Dear X, someone must have hijacked your email account ...

....because I got the most ignorant email that came under your name! I thought you should know that someone is sending out mails that are in such poor taste. Better change your password ASAP!"

[sui generis]

17. They're not your friends.

Their argument could be extended to say would have you, or one of their cousins, deported, quarantined, arrested, whatever, if you turned out to be an undocumented immigrant, no?

That should inform you. You can't save that "friendship". All you can do is face reality. They have drunk the grape koolaid and are now doing the robot.

[AnArmyVeteran]

18. Robyn66, I got the same crap from a conservative Christian extremist...

A family member gave me the same argument, not realizing that he was anointing himself as a 'death panel'. He is a fanatical Palin supporter and worships everything she says. So he obviously believed Palin's idiotic claim about Obama setting up 'death panels'. But he unwittingly supports real death panels because he believes if someone shows up at an emergency room with a gold necklace or Nike shoes they should be denied medical treatment because, as he said, "They were irresponsible" with their money. So according to this fake Christian, anyone who has ever been irresponsible in their lives (AND THAT INCLUDES EVERYONE) they should be denied health care. And if anyone used any of their money to buy a trinket he deemed extravagant, then that person should be denied health care. He said he hears all the time from his aunt who is a nurse about all the people who seek health care who have cell phones, gold necklaces and the like.

BTW, this same fake Christian had a daughter a few years ago and she was in intensive care for the first month of her life. He never paid a cent of the bill. And he is not attempting to cover the cost hundreds of thousands it cost to save the life of his daughter. And just a few months ago he was on Facebook asking about what kind of gun to buy for protection and even said he was going to get a concealed carry permit. At the time he wrote about buying a gun he didn't even have insurance for his wife and three small children. And this hypocrite is condemning others for being irresponsible! The level of hypocrisy among conservative extremists and conservative Christians is staggering. I wonder how many of the people his aunt talked about coming to the emergency room decided to buy guns rather than insurance as this hypocritical conservative Christian did?

In answer to your question... I decided to just not respond to any of his attempts to engage in political discussions. There is no sense trying to reason with someone who laps up every word from Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, believing every word of theirs to be like gospel. This guy is a Christian and he cites Biblical quotes all the time. But he has absolutely no understanding of what Jesus taught or stood for. I firmly believe no one can be a conservative extremist and a Christian at the same time. They are exact opposites.

Have you heard of 'pink clouding'? It's a state of euphoria where a Christian gets high on the thoughts of all that Biblical stuff. It's also a common condition members of cults experience. This guy is not just 'pink clouding' about his religious thoughts, but also about his cult-life following of the mutant conservative movement.

[SPedigrees]

22. I think I'd begin with a "Please, no more political spam!"

Then I'd insert a friendly non-political paragraph about whatever you and these people normally converse about, and end your note in a friendly manner with an invitation to "stay in touch." I'd send the email as a reply to their RW spam mail to you, with the RW drivel they sent appearing below your message to them.

One of my husband's red state relatives used to send a lot of these RW mailings to us and other of his blue state relatives. One of the "blue staters" started sending him progressive mailings; he took the hint and the RW batshit crazy mails stopped coming. This also might work for you.

[4lbs]

23. How about this?

Hey friend,

Did you hear about the right wing Christian militia group that plotted to kill police? They are staunchly Republican and wholly anti-government. They are so anti-government that they asked government-supplied public defenders to defend them in court.

Did you hear about the Congressional Republicans who nearly all voted against the Stimulus Bill but had no problem posing for photo ops with those big checks their districts and states received with monies from the Stimulus Bill?

Did you hear about how John McCain is railing against government healthcare yet he's been benefitting from government healthcare all his life? From the time he was born in a military hospital, to using the VA, to now being on a FEHBP health plan as a member of Congress, and MediCare as a senior citizen. Even though he's married to a rich woman who has hundreds of millions of dollars, he uses government healthcare.

Did you hear about all those Sarah Palin fanatics who, when asked to name the policies she supports, have blank facial expressions?

Did you hear about how nearly all the "red" states get more federal government dollars given to them than they pay into the IRS in taxes? The same "red" states that are filled with anti-government Republicans. Isn't that Socialism though? They get all that government money. Yet they rail against the government and are afraid of "Socialist policies". Maybe we should give them their wish and revoke their government money, since we wouldn't want them to have to take that Socialist government money.

[AnArmyVeteran]

24. How about cat shit?

I kept getting mail from tobacco companies with huge colored brochures trying to entice me into smoking. I wasn't a smoker so I don't know how I got on their list. But they made a big mistake. With every mailing they included a large postage-paid envelope to respond to them with. I kept sending their postage-paid envelopes back with strongly worded notes inside. I knew when I sent those envelops back they had to pay for them, costing them money. But when they kept sending their advertisements to me I resorted to drastic measures. One day I became frustrated so I went to my cat's litter box and scooped out a few of my cat's biggest 'prizes'. I put them in the envelop with a note saying, "You keep sending me shit, so here's a little shit for you". I never got another letter from them again.

That was fifteen years ago and I wouldn't dare do that now. They would have me arrested for sending toxic materials through the mail and consider such an act as a terrorist attack. I consider it justice...

[DeeDeeNY]

27. They have no respect for your feelings and are not really friends

[demodonkey]

29. I'd get other godparents for my daughter.

Do you really want these people raising her if something happened to you?

[RedSpartan]

30. There was a good response in the paper shortly after it was published.

See here at Snopes.com:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/starner.asp

[MajorChode]

33. What kind of friend would send you an email they knew would offend you?

If they don't respect your feelings, they aren't your friends. Make sure they know those types of messages aren't welcome, and if they still don't respect your wishes you may want to consider dropping them like a bad habit.

These types of people only spread their racist filth because they think it will be accepted. When they start getting ostracized for it, they may want to reconsider their narrow-minded views.

[B Calm]

34. Tell them to remove your e-mail address to send stupid right wing propaganda to.

[Leftist Agitator]

35. Why would you continue to interact with them on any level?

Seriously, these people are fucking assholes. I don't know about you, but I try to avoid having people who would think and say things like that in my life for any reason whatsoever.

[tedk_355]

36. tell them they have no idea what they're talking about

[MerryBlooms]

37. I've dealt with this sort of stuff for years

from my husband's family since his death 8 years ago.

Until recently, I always linked them to factual sites/articles to disprove the bs - but they don't want facts. They don't even open the links you respond with. The last straw for me came recently and I politely, but sternly told them how they have known me for over 25 years now, and know their son/brother and I were/are, life-long Dem's and I felt their constant emailing of rightwing propaganda was disrespectful and offensive. I got a return email stating they didn't mean to offend, yet still they outlined - only immature people are Dem's and don't know what's REALLY going on, but you'll think like me when you're older. I'm 46 and pray I never think like they do.

There has been no interaction since.