Don't judge a "Book" - or someone who looks like a "Redneck" by his "coveralls"

[Mira]

A tiny short story about a couple of very similar looking men I interacted with today, in this deeply red 5th District of NC - home of Virginia Foxx - the difference in them proved startling.

=============

A couple of months ago, in a snowstorm at midnight, a pickup driver who was going too fast lost control and slammed into my fence and tree, and today, finally, the fence repair crew was here to fix the damage.

The man in charge started to comment favorably on my yard art, and decorations, ( statues made of pitchforks, a birdfeeder made from a rusted shovel, many planters and art objects.. things that make the Democrats in my neighborhood happy and on which Republicans, I swear to God, never comment)

Just for the hell of it, to take his temperature, I pointed to a 5 foot tall Irish cairn I had built of balancing rocks and said:
"Every time we have an election, the people who don't like my Democratic yardsigns come around and knock it down. It has not been knocked down in a good while, because they forget."

He:"I really want to know what is wrong with Health Care for everybody".

I perk up and say."Yeah, Health Care in Germany gave my 84 year old mother 18 000 Euros worth of teeth and all she had to worry about is the discomfort."

He:"I listen to that guy Oberman, no "l" in that name, and I really identify with the big one before him, I think his name is Ed. But I'm not political."

Me:"Hmmmm. I'm political, I was born that way, and there is too much going on to keep your head in the sand."

He:"Yeah, I think the country went to hell with Reagan (my ears perk) and I think the best President was Jimmy Carter (now my ears almost fall off) and I can't tell you what I'm living with in the county with the people being so full of hate and they don't even know what "Socialist" means, but I think they think it means colored. And it's terrible about all the Iraqis we killed and how we got lied to."

Me "It's such a gift President Bushes mess was so huge it allowed the country to be mad enough to elect a person of great promise in Obama, even though he is a black man."

He:"That's what that's all about, it ain't about socialism nohow, they don't understand, after all they drive on the streets and get their social security, it's because they are just ignorant".

Me:"Any time you want to rant just ring my doorbell, I think you and I understand each other well, keep watching Olberman, and big Ed, and they will keep you straight, too. And don't you dare to ever say again you are not political. This country needs people just like you to keep your eyes open and your ears to the ground."

He:"I'm glad I met you, I sometimes think I'm so alone in the place where I live and work".


The second man, like I said they almost looked like brothers, was someone who's car doors I was going to letter while he waited. My back yard is even prettier and more serene than the front. I asked him to sit at the wrought iron table, under the umbrella, next to the fountain that was gurgling, and freshly planted geraniums. Lemons were in bloom and putting their wonderful scent in the air, birdfeeders full at a safe distance where cardinals were coming to feed.

I handed him the day's paper.
He said:"What should I do with that?" ( I shit you not)
I said "maybe read it?"

"Oh," he said "I have my lunch to eat".

OK.

He sat. Ate a sandwich with reverie. Leaned back for close to an hour, stared straight out, and then, at the end after the car was done, he asked me for an American Flag decal.

I went into my place and dug around for one, and it was magnetic, and I slapped it on his car.
I was thinking about the "brother" from the morning and the difference in the men that was already apparent in how they did or did not notice and appreciate beauty.

And I was so sad, that the patriot I had talked to in the morning would have never asked me to put a flag on his car.

And it infuriated me about Bush all over again. Because that is when that changed from a symbol of love for the country to a symbol of blind and ignorant obedience to dictum.








.

[Fumesucker]

1. Nice story Myra, thanks for posting..

I probably look a lot like your "brothers"... And today I shaved my head because dealing with thinning hair and trying to keep it from looking like Einstein on a bad hair day just got to be too much hassle.. My daughter got me an electric razor for Christmas and I can do my own head every few days for a pennies worth of electricity.

[Mira]

2. Hi, Fumesucker,

I still have that beautiful stitched panorama photo you gave me on my desktop.
My point, among others, was that you just don't ever know about people, and that it's human, but not wise, to judge them by their looks.

I just wrote this and it almost is on the greatest page, so those who are taking the time to read it know what I'm talking about.

I actually always wondered how the shaved head men maintain it without hurting themselves.
Nice to hear from you, and I hope you are doing WELL. I know it's been rough going for you.

[Fumesucker]

3. I'm bipolar and just got done with a "down" period that was pretty bad..

But I'm feeling pretty good right now, got a "new" camera and some lenses a little while back but haven't done much with it lately.

For the last month or so I've been working on finishing the interior of a smallish concrete block outbuilding on the property here that used to be a smokehouse to make myself a little "father in law" apartment.. I'm taking pictures of all the stages and I'm going to put up a little "how to" series on one of the forums when I'm done.

So far I've managed to do most of the interior without spending any money, I was in construction for a long time and my brother still has his own company, we've managed to get all the materials to almost do the job donated one way or another from commercial construction jobs that had stuff left over or demoed from old construction we've hauled off. Doors, sheetrock, metal studs, 2x4's, 2x6's, water heater, toilet, sinks, cabinets, insulation and so on..


Hope things are going well for you..

[yankeepants]

4. My husband is like that

He is a country boy from central PA. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a beer drinker, and carpenter. He calls himself a Redneck Liberal Democrat.

We live in a very rural republican area of Northern New York. He's the guy in the bar that calls the lunkheads out for using the N-word, talking teabag, or just being rude.

[Mira]

5. I so like reading that. What he does is he is a living example ot that people

need to realize (myself included) that a policy of living life assuming people share your prejudices is not all that wise.
And that how they look does not necessarily give you a clue to their frame of mind.

A very happy welcome to you to the DU community.
Please hang around, and become a regular and let us get to know you, we love "new blood".

[mercuryblues]

7. yes

people need to realize (myself included) that a policy of living life assuming people share your prejudices is not all that wise.

Thank you for the story, but thank you for that comment even more.

I have had a friend for over 20 years, most of the time we agree politically. Yesterday I got a what is wrong with HCR republican talking point, chain email. I was floored. But that comment makes me understand why she thought it was a good idea to send it to me. She must assume that because she is turning into a teabgger, I must be too. My reply made it very clear to her that I am not.

I may be losing a friend soon. That is a real tragedy. Too many people are losing friends and relatives over the hate being stirred up by the family values team.

[Mira]

9. My goodness! You are the second brand new DUer to show up in my thread.

First of all, welcome!

Secondly: Your pain of maybe losing a friend over politics is a real one we all, I think, have experienced.
It's an outgrowth of the policy of "I'm a Uniter, not a Divider" of pResident George W Bush (the small p indicates he was a Resident of the White house, not elected, but appointed)

the comment is meant sarcastically.

He brought about with his policies of dividing this country by partisan lines the very rift between friends, or family members, or people just meeting on the street, that we are talking about in you and your friend's possible feud.

I used to have friends and not know their political affiliation (it's been a long time, admitted, but it was truly so). Now, that has become an impossibility.
If a Republican is still my friend, then a lot of the conversation, as long as he/she keeps me around, is about how come they are still Republican.

So, have a talk with your friend. Voice your concerns, don't fight, realize that you may lose him/her anyway, just have a let the chips fall conversation where you at least get to voice your opinion and make sure you are heard.

Seeds that fall under the snow do sprout a lot of the time.

Good luck with your friend!

[mercuryblues]

37. Thanks

Last week she e-mailed me, to let me know she was moving to Texas. I am not holding out any hope. If she keeps sending me that junk, I will debunk it and relate it to her own life. So far I have been cordial. I am not quite sure how long it will last until I directly challenge her new found views. Oddly enough they coincide with her new found boyfriend.

Friendships and family are another casualty of the dictator (boosh) doctrine.

Me, I drive a Charger, drink beer - not at the same time. I drink wine out of a jelly glass. :)
wear AC/DC and Metallica t-shirts. My spouse drives a Chevy pickup and wears those overalls. I always threaten to put a gun rack in it; for a super soaker.

We flew the flag, long before it became popular for the teagaggers. Take the flag back, naw, I never let them take it away.

[proud patriot]

6. thanks for sharing

:-)

[libnnc]

8. I LOVE your yard and make a point

to look at it everyday (I pass your house on my way to the Y and to church every week).

Thanks for the story, neighbor, and for all you do here at DU. I always read your posts.

:hi: :loveya:

Libby

[Mira]

21. You just gave me legitimacy. Made my day. Because

I really hang out in the photo forum the most, and post stuff about my yard a lot.

Now - I count on you ringing my bell soon - and both of you stopping in and sitting down with me. The beer is always cold, and the vibes will be ever so fine.

If dropping in is not your style PM me for my phone number.

[CC]

10. Hope the fence guy comes back around

to chat. Sounds like he could use a like minded person to chat with.



The other well you can always hope he wakes to the world sooner than later, at least he didn't rant. BTW take back the flag. I remember Kerry (maybe or one of the Dems) telling us to do just that and I decided hell yeah, why let the haters have it. So when the house was resided I had them put up two of these, one one front and one on the side:

I'll have to go take a picture of the milk can planter for you.:) So maybe if you do see the fence guy offer him a flag and tell him to take it back too.


(Typing tired so hoping typos are not too bad and it makes sense.)

[Mira]

11. My goodness. I adore you! And you know what - I wrote to you in the photo forum

at the precisely exact time you wrote to me here.
Good thoughts about the flags. We need to take back from them what they mean to us.

[TuxedoKat]

22. Hey!

Can you tell me if there is any meaning to having a star on a house? I see them all over houses in my area (upstate NY) and have been wondering if there is some special significance or if it is just meant to be decorative.

[CC]

35. As far as I know it is just decorative. They

are called barn stars and guess someone somewhere used them on barns.If there was another reason I don't know it. Around here a lot of barns had hex signs and many still do. (Look up Amish Hex signs for more info.) When I found the red, white and blue ones I decided to use them to decorate the house. They were a bit different from the normal stars around here.

[TuxedoKat]

36. Okay...

I never noticed them when I lived in the midwest so I wondered if it was a regional thing or had some other special significance. Thanks.

[CC]

41. Here is a site that pulls them both

together history wise. http://www.the-artistic-garden.com/barn-star.html

[madmax]

12. Post some pics

I love recycled art!

[Mira]

14. Here is at least one...from a post I made in the photo forum today

gathering them now is not that easy.
But I hope you enjoy that little thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=280x71657

[madmax]

20. Have you thought of moving

to the Triangle area? We'd have a great time together. :bounce: Seems we have a lot in common.

You've motivated me to start working on my itsy bitsy patio. It's not the size that counts ;)

[dixiegrrrrl]

13. Ahhhh...the lonliness of the long distant thinker.

Don't I know it.

Maybe the first guy would be home on DU, ya think?

You may end up providing a safe haven for the lonely Dems in the neighborhood.
Maybe a monthly bar-b-que?

My next door neighbor was delighted to find we were Dems. She told us to
"nevermind" the " not Dem " woman on the other side of the street, tho,
cause "her folks come from Arkansas and she can't help it".

[shedevil69taz]

15. Its a symbol of something different to everyone

Its sad for me to hear that you look on the flag that way these days. When I look at it I think about the people of country that are decent, hardworking, and mostly honest. I also think about all the fellow service members that have died in two virtually meaningless conflicts, and I take pride in my service even if i don't agree where that service has taken place all the time.

[Mira]

17. I looked at your profile, and I feel tinier than an ant now.

I cannot speak in comparison to your life experience, can only be in awe of it.

You, too are a real new comer to DU, I want to welcome you very much, and I want you to know at no time would I want to step on your emotional toes on this subject.
If I had ever walked in your shoes for a day, I would possibly not say what I'm about to.

I watched the love of the flag turn into a symbol of support for these wars and specifically a symbol of blind support for Bush policies, in the South, where I live. Now it's support for Tea-bagging or non-support of Obama.

I watched the flag decals become an unspoken sign of right wing support, and as that became a solid representation, I watched the Democrats, and the people who did not support the policies of Bush, take them off their cars, and take the flags down at their houses.

That's where I'm coming from.
But I fully understand I only have a slice of the full picture.

[shedevil69taz]

18. Oh you could step on my toes all day long and you'd never

never know it. But you are absolutely entitled to view our flag whichever way you want, and I won't ever tell you that you are wrong, because you're not.

Just because I see it as one thing doesn't mean everyone should see it that way. Sadly many people have forgotten that, and seem to think that anyone who disagrees with them is the anti-christ or something.

[Mopar151]

28. Take back the flag!

I like the sound of that.. And I dig the penguin, and Shovelbird, too.
I'm a lot like guy #1 in your story. I'm the son of a disabled, decorated veteran, the flag means a lot to me. But watching the distortion and lies of chickenhawk politicans about our canidate's flag ettiquette, while Bush and McCain were flagrantly violating the same principles, kind of ticked me off - because Barack learned how to act same as I did - from a veteran. And then it got co-opted, as you say.
I remember a time - not all that long ago - when a flag patch on your jacket, or uniform, or firesuit - was cool - like an astronaut, or Evel Kenevil. Now it's erzatz patriotisim, Chinese junk from the shrinking dollar store. There is hope, though - I notice that in pro rally, or international racing, many drivers use a national flag logo by their names. Maybe that modest show of pride is a good thing. Nascar has more "international" drivers now, it'd be neat there - maybe state flags would be good for local racing. I'll have to source some 3x5 flags - gotta find Oz, NZ, Canada, and England too, I think. And maybe some 5x7 US flags, on DOT spec reflective stock - like the red & white tape you see all over truck trailers and school buses now, for the same reason.
If any of those are in your repretory, PM me, or post it up here.

[madamesilverspurs]

32. This is reminding me of

a bit I posted to DU in 2007, a rather lengthy rant about the national discord:

"...Civil conversation is on the brink of making a comeback, albeit much to the consternation of those who have endeavored to dominate all conversation for so long. Those who have been silent are tentatively exercising their voices once again. In reclaiming the pride that is inherently the birthright of all of us we are rejecting the ugly labels and misshapen definitions that have been applied to us. And, while we're at it, we're taking back OUR flag, restoring it to its place as the vibrant standard of a people noble in our entirety.

It's time. The job is ready to be done. By working hard and working together we can wrestle our national promise away from those who would turn it to their own personal gain. We can put it back in its rightful place among the gleaming accomplishments of human history. With calloused and blistered hands we can retrieve from the edge of the dung heap that precious gift that is so, so much more than 'just a damn piece of paper.' And with its cherished safety again assured we will reclaim our dignity and honor as a nation, as we once again set our feet on the path to a promise that is, ever and always, quite extraordinary."


-

[Brickbat]

16. Don't sell the second guy short.

From your description, it's possible he had found out some terrible news recently.

[Mira]

19. You know what I'm getting from our response, is a boink on the head for

being pre-judgmental.

I accept that rebuke, because I don't want to be non-accepting.
In the time I did the work we interacted a bit. He was not stricken with bad news. He was just stuck somewhere in dullsville.
Really.

But I fully recognize what you are saying, and will take it to heart in general.

[Brickbat]

27. You caught what I was saying.

:)

Some people are just dull, and we have to take them for who they are, without comparing, and try to open up the world to them in a way we can.

[JeffR]

23. So many hugely important things have become so trivialized

it's a wonder people can understand each other at all anymore. Maybe the second guy has it right. I don't trust newspapers anymore. I don't even trust the left blogosphere anymore, although it got me through the Aughts with something of my sanity intact. I'm not cynical, just wary of camouflaged agendas.

Often, like our dogs do, we begin barking before we even know just what we're barking at. The world is a vast, subtle and intricate thing, and so ultimately are human beings. We can all benefit from reserving judgment and keeping our eyes and minds open.

All of which is to say I don't quite know how to take this story. It's a little reassuring somehow, and a little disquieting at the same time. Thanks for a very thought-provoking read.

[truedelphi]

24. I have had these same experiences.

A book cannot be judged by its cover, and neither can people.

K & R.

[mr blur]

25. Hmm. Patronise much? (nt)

[seabeyond]

26. you really cant. i was sittin in carwash and a man about 50, red white and blue hat... amarillo tx

i was talking to another man that was older. he was talking about hunting. then nra. then i should have gun to protect me. and finally.... they are comin to take your guns. i told him they werent and he went on to the countries that have had guns taken away. i told him, dont know specifics so cant argue, but their guns havent been taken.

when he left the 50 yr old, truck driving, red white and blue hat guy said, you are right. their guns arent taken away. i have guns and wont join nra...

i had to repeat, you agree with me?

i figured he was gonna be the next to jump in the fight

around here, i get such surprises from people i do not expect. it is always fun

[Scurrilous]

29. K & R

:thumbsup:

[SocialistLez]

30. Thanks for this

[sufrommich]

31. "OK" . nt

[madamesilverspurs]

33. Thanks for this. K & R, by the way.

In my neighborhood, it could be "don't judge a pickup by its WWJD gunrack". . .


-

[mimitabby]

34. wow, Myra!

[BrklynLiberal]

38. Coming back to this in a little bit..

[harmonicon]

39. who do you think actually votes for all of these Democrats?

I don't think you should find it surprising that people of all sorts are liberal thinkers. I see a lot of horrible bigoted things on DU about rural dwellers, but I think those making the bigoted comments don't realize that the same people they disparage are not only the ones making the food they eat, but also those who are voting "their" candidates into office.

as for the American flag thing... meh. One of my best friends is a borderline commie and he has an American flag sticker on his car.

[hay rick]

40. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.

So sad that Bush, Fox, and their ilk hijacked the flag after 9-11 and used it as a prop in the orgy of "patriotism" that led to the treasonous invasion of Iraq.

I have felt ambivalent about our flag ever since. Too many of the people that enthusiastically display it are fools- or worse.