teen mothers are an american crisis as TV reality shows reveal BUT

[ensho]

why are there no shows focused on teen fathers?

american teen boys are in crisis on many fronts not just fatherhood.

underage mothers' lives are ruined and stymied and the girls and their families spend enormous amounts of energy trying to regain balance.

underage fathers need bright light too. same with their families.

the boys, for the most part, go on with their boy lives. how fair is that?

where is the love for boy fathers? where are the men who could produce TV shows concerned with the problem?

how did it become OK for boys to make notches on their belts for how many babies they have fathered? without consequences.

something is wrong here, what with the spotlight only on underage mothers.

how come there isn't information on the many, many underage girls who saved their teen lives by getting an abortion?

you say what does this have to do with dem politics. I say everything. we could be the party that saved underage kids from being parents.

and we could be the party that saved kids from being fat and unhealthy.

[Recursion]

1. Isn't teen pregnancy at a 40-year low? NT

[Hannah Bell]

38. something like that. but it's on tv, so it must be true. tv=life

[SocialistLez]

2. The Spirit Level

(a great book I might add) talks about teenage pregnancy.

Pretty scary stuff.

In any case, I'd love to see more support for contraception for young adults.
Why don't we have clinics available for young adults to go to to get condoms, birth control pills,etc.?

Of course I know WHY we don't but it would be nice if we had that.

We need REAL sex ed in schools, not this abstinence-only bs.

My high school taught abstinence-only sex ed and it shows. I knew of AT LEAST 30 girls during my high school years who had kids. I don't know of any who had abortions but I am sure there were some.

It seemed like all the sh** landed on the girls and the guys were free to do whatever.

[CrispyQ]

34. Sex ed in my school was pathetic.

My mother was pregnant with my sister when I was 11, so she took advantage of the timing & gave me a sex ed book that was very thorough & explicit. We discussed it afterward. A few years later, when my school taught sex ed, the teacher would only say that "Intercourse is the union of a man & woman." She never clearly stated what the sex act entailed. Listening to my classmates talk about it afterward, I knew that a good number of them were confused & had no idea what 'intercourse' really was.

I graduated in a class of 75 students. Six of the girls in our class were pregnant or had already had babies. I know of one who had an abortion. There's the proof that "Intercourse is the union of a man & woman," was not very effective.

And ditto about the shit landing on the girls! The guys were looked up to; the girls were thought of as sluts. Only one of the guys married the girl he got pregnant. I have no idea if any of the others took any responsibility for their off spring or not.

Thanks for the book referral. I'll check it out.

[SocialistLez]

43. I taught myself about sex

I checked out "It's Perfectly Normal" from the local library in fourth grade and read all sorts of similar books.

My step-mom got mad when I bought a book that talked about periods, sex, penises, depression, drug use...the whole she bang.
Instead of wanting to explain sex to me, she wanted to take the book from me.
My dad was proud I was interesting in "bettering myself" and told her to give me my book back.

Our sex ed books tried to SCARE kids into not having sex. "In some states it's illegal for two minors to have sex. If you have sex, it's possible you can be arrested." "Condoms are not very effective." "There has been a rise in STD cases. If you have sex, it's likely you'll contract an STD." On and on....

We had a Christian-based abstinence-only group come in and show graphic pictures of STDs but of course condoms weren't mentioned.It was all about waiting until you find "the one", marry him/her and THEN you can have sex.

I had a pretty huge graduating class...about 500-600 something. I forget. A lot of girls ending up dropping out when they found out they were pregnant or once they had their baby.

Funny part is we have a clinic right across the street from one of the high school campuses that gave out free condoms and you can go there to get subsidized birth control (income limits do apply).

I know one girl who married the father of her child; they were divorced in less than a year. She dropped out to marry him and have her baby and now she's on "fiance" #2 at the age of 19...:eyes: :crazy:

[Bjorn Against]

3. I want journalism, there is no reality in "reality television".

[ensho]

5. not true - we need both

nt

[Bjorn Against]

7. No we don't need "reality television" that completely distorts reality

[ensho]

8. no it doesn't

nt

[Bjorn Against]

13. I sincerely hope you are not serious, because if you are you are being manipulated

[ensho]

15. you wish

nt

[Lost4words]

47. The reality shows have taken video media to an all time low

pure stinking rubbish, cheap to make cheap to run and because of viewers like you, profits skyrocket.

Read a book and you brain wont turn into mush.

[ladywnch]

28. do you REALLY believe that reality tv unfolds they way you see it

on those shows??????

You don't think that every contestant is manipulated and and their actions scripted by the producers??? REALLY!!!!!!!

Reality tv demonstrates and rewards the worst of human nature, avarice, greed, narcissism, cruelty,

If so, you must be the ONLY person in the country who thinks reality tv is real.

This country needs more reality tv like we need 24 hours a day of Rush and Beck.

[AnArmyVeteran]

33. I thought the Jerry Springer show was a documentary program, Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Aren't all the programs you see about nature on the Discovery channel documentaries? Jerry Springer does what every nature journalist does. He brings on human specimens so we can see their mating habits, sociological impacts of their behavior and at the end Jerry always has a good commentary.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

[ensho]

35. kick - getting to know your neighbors

nt

[jody]

4. But Mary was a teen mother and she raised Jesus fairly well. n/t

[ensho]

6. get real - we have advanced beyond the dark ages when females

were the property of men.

[jody]

10. My post was in jest on Easter Sunday n/t

[ensho]

16. sorry I took it wrong

nt

[lunatica]

11. Mary was married to Joseph

She wasn't a 'single mother'. But Joseph, Mary and Jesus were homeless for a while.

[jody]

14. But Mary was pregnant before she married Joseph. n/t

[lunatica]

20. See my response #18

Sorry, I responded there before I read your response to me. Out of wedlock pregnancies have always been common. But in old societies young women were married off even before being teens. Unfortunately some still do it. Africa, Afghanistan, probably in a lot of the Stan countries, India, etc.

[ensho]

9. lets get this thread back on track and discuss the crisis of the teen boy

in america.

[Recursion]

12. What's the crisis?

Yes, boys are doing worse in schools relative to girls than they were 30 years ago, and boys' college matriculation and graduation rates are falling, somewhat.

Still, juvenile crime (almost exclusively committed by males) is at a 50-year low. Teen pregnancy is at a record low too. Schools are less violent than they have been any time since we started keeping records of school violence. Volunteerism among teens is at an all-time high.

No matter what the sensationalist media tells you, the kids today are doing pretty well. I'm proud of them.

[ensho]

17. you must be living on another planet then me

or an unusual US neighborhood.

[Recursion]

26. Those are national statistics

National juvenile crime is at a 50-year low in all categories except theft of items over $100, and that's just because iPods hadn't been invented 50 years ago.

I realize that, for whatever reason, every generation has a deep-seated psychological need to imagine that the kids today are doing horrible things, but at least this time, they're taking much, much better care of themselves than any living generation took care of themselves.

[Recursion]

27. Having just checked, the 40-year low was in 2006

The teen pregnancy rate has come up slightly since then; it's still much lower than the peak of 20 years ago.

Oddly enough this is a very hard statistic to find for exactly that reason, just like the crime rate: alarmists don't like people to realize that things are doing much better than they were in the past.

[lunatica]

18. I recall in the 'good old days' that unwed motherhood was treated in two ways

Disappear for a while and have the baby and put it up for adoption and no one is the wiser, or have a shotgun wedding.

Of course that never applied to the poor. They just get pushed through the cracks if they haven't already fallen through them.

Teen pregnancies have always happened. Always. Actually out of wedlock pregnancies have always been quite common. It's just that the fathers were forced to take responsibility, which seems not to be the case today.

[ensho]

19. and that is the problem - boys not having to face the consequences

of producing a baby.

well, one of the problems. there is the problem of boys not using condoms.

[lunatica]

21. The demise of sex education has consequences

Because throughout history teaching abstinance has never worked. Imagine too many of today's priests actually teach this while they rape children.

[ensho]

23. yes - the underhandedness of catholic priest criminals

and boys have had to try and live with their sexual abuse scars.

there must be connections between underage fathers and sexual abuse.

[blueamy66]

46. Why aren't these teen mothers

going after the teen fathers for support? You never see this on the reality tv show....okay, maybe not never, but it's not shown very often.

[AnArmyVeteran]

30. But it says in the Bible 'be fruitful and multiply' (and I dont remember seeing any conditions)

[lunatica]

32. But that was only said to Adam and Eve

Wasn't it? Before the Snake went and fucked up Paradise.

[KG]

22. pretty sure living in a deeply patriarchal society plays a part in this.

there seems to be a wink-wink nod-nod attitude toward the males' participation in teen pregnacy.

[ensho]

24. agree. american men had/have a role to play in the boy crisis

men are complicit.

[Hello_Kitty]

25. The majority of the fathers are over 21. eom

[ensho]

29. that doesn't make sense - we are talking about underage fathers

adult males getting underage girls pregnant is another topic.

this thread is about underage fathers.

[Hello_Kitty]

31. But ignoring the fact that the majority of fathers are over 21 is ignoring a big part of the issue.

[ensho]

36. this thread is not about adult fathers!

are you trying to cause trouble?

[Darth_Kitten]

39. Maybe it should be as well.......

If some dude over 21 is knocking up some teenage girl, and she has to live on social assistance, then he's part of the problem.

It's not age as much as attitude. If boys or "men" actually had to spend the time to actually raise their children, then maybe they might be less cocky and arrogant.

[ensho]

41. make your own thread then - leave this one alone

nt

[Blue_Tires]

37. most of the time there just isn't any pressure on the teen father to do anything

by his family or the teen mom's family...and outside of a shotgun wedding, i don't know how much more that can be done...is it worth the effort to take a teen dad to court and garnish his $7.75/hr paycheck from the cineplex?

and it has to be said, there is a lot of enabling from the parents of teen parents, because so many of them assume all of the day-to-day responsibilities of raising the baby while the teen moms and dads go back out and live their carefree lives (even while bringing back kid number 2, 3, etc. before they are old enough to legally drink)...

[SocialistLez]

44. Yep yep

I see SO many young single moms...it's quite depressing.

There are a few standout cases of the 30-40 some odd girls who ended up pregnant during my high school years where the dads stick around and take care of their kids but they can always up and leave. They aren't on any child support plan. They just give the girl $$ when they have it or feel like it.

I do have one associate who has two kids. We're both the same age and she had her second child less than a year after her first.
She constantly complained how hard her first kid was, how diapers were so expensive, blah blah blah...and then she had another kid.:dunce:

Her mom did some enabling. She pays for a lot of things and that takes some of the pressure off my associate to stop continuing her dumb behavior.

[Blue_Tires]

48. i have a close family friend whose daughter just gave birth

she's 22 years old, but mentally she's still 16-17 because she's spent so much time bouncing from this to that while 'finding herself'...She's in college, but is still 3 years from her degree because instead of living on campus, her mother put her in a posh condo on the other side of town (who knew that living in a condo in the trendy part of the city would ever be a distraction for a college freshman??)...She also works full-time, so she has to juggle that, a newborn, and her classwork...At least now her mental age is quickly catching up as she is finally maturing...

But the baby's father (late 20s) is a real piece of work...Even though he has multiple degrees and grad school with a 3.9 GPA, he has bounced around aimlessly as well (he works full-time in IT, but he has the credentials and experience to triple his salary if he applies himself)...He has another kid that he hardly sees, and when my friend's daughter first started dating him, he was the most financially irresponsible person you ever saw -- Student loan defaults, $20,000 in credit card debt that wasn't being paid monthly, writing a bunch of phony checks, car repo'd, etc...He was one step from prison until the girl's parents stepped in to save his hide (ironically, one parent is a lawyer and the other an insurance accountant, and they were able to get his debts in order and a manageable amount)...And while he has said all the right things and promised to be there for this new baby, he has become an increasingly infrequent visitor...Of course my friend's daughter can't figure out for the life of her why her babydaddy is so irresponsible...


/rant over

[Recursion]

49. Ooh my mom did her dissertation on that

who knew that living in a condo in the trendy part of the city would ever be a distraction for a college freshman??

A freshman year off-campus (trendy condo or not) quadruples your chance of not graduating in four years, it turns out.

[Hannah Bell]

40. "as TV reality shows reveal" = lol

[ensho]

42. you are free to keep your head stuck in the sand

nt

[Hannah Bell]

45. lol again. teen pregnancy has been dropping for 50 years.