I am scared.

[Gman2]

Another holiday. Another fear that my teabagger sisters will call the poor/ill parasites. I have heart failure, and wanting to do harm to those that try for my destruction is not good for my health. I foresee having to leave, in the middle of dinner. My anxiety level is thru the roof. I feel like declaring that anyone that refers to me as a parasite gets a big vinyl bag. I have been estranged from family since the right declared treason patriotism. I feel myself ready to stomp idiots. How should I respond to any insults?

[Ian David]

1. I wouldn't show-up. n/t

[secondwind]

2. Don't go. Period. Stay away from these people.

[secondwind]

3. declare yourself "family-free and lovin' it"....and move on.

[Gman2]

8. I would be dead. The gov says I am not disabled, just like all the other disabled they deny.

[KILL THE WISE ONE]

43. so are you currently dependent on them ?

If so just quietly leave the table, and take your plate to the garage and eat in peace. then see what happens good luck

[LiberalLoner]

40. That's the best advice! :) n/t

[grasswire]

4. why do you have to go?

I wouldn't.

[Coyote_Bandit]

5. Decline tha invitation

and stay home.

Next year you can nvite them to dinner at your place. Then if they broach the topic of politics you can give them the choice of either leaving or shutting up.

[Heidi]

6. Don't go. Or if you feel you must, here is your answer to the insults:

"I love you. I'd like to continue loving you, so what's say we not have another unreasoned discussion?"

[sandnsea]

7. Just say "Don't Talk Like That Around Me"

in a very firm, stern, voice. And Believe Me.. THEY WON'T.

Happy Easter.

[grasswire]

9. tell them that you are on a holy fast today...

...because Easter feasting is a pagan tradition. You are honoring the example of Christ by fasting and not speaking, by spending the day in prayer and reading the Bible.

[protocol rv]

10. Dump Medicare

Just ask them if they're ready to advocate ending Medicare and Social Security. :-)

[Gman2]

12. Of course they would say yes.

[Vinca]

11. Don't go. There's more to family than sharing some DNA.

[Lost-in-FL]

13. I would not put up with that kind nonsense if I were you.

I would stay home and say you had plans.

[cliffordu]

14. Do a slightly modified version of what Charles Mingus did during a concert at

The Cotton Club.


He walked out with a large paper bag and put it in the center of the stage.

Then he went to the microphone and said:

"I put my guns in that bag."

"We're gonna start playing here in a few minutes. If any of you motherfuckers talk while the band is playing I may be forced to shoot you."

Just insert "Eating" for 'playing', and "Talk shit about the Prez" for 'talk' and I think you're golden.

I don't think you actually have to have guns in the bag. It would be extra cool if you did, though.

[Gman2]

15. Problem is, I have guns. big ones. Biceps. And I could stomp any that threaten me.

[NYC_SKP]

52. I did that once.

During a visit from a friend who lives in a different state.

[cliffordu]

53. Well....

I hope your friend wasn't that imaginary one.

Shame to see him go and leave you all alone....

[MadMaddie]

16. Don't go

It's not worth your health.

[The Midway Rebel]

17. Take a deep breath, relax, words cannot hurt you,

other peoples stupid ideas cannot hurt you.

Just laugh. And do it often, and do it hard.

They are stupid and they are selfish and you can tell them that the Midway Rebel says so.



}(

[AnArmyVeteran]

48. Yes, words can hurt. They can be severe abuse. Words should never be shrugged off.

The best thing to do is stay away from harmful, toxic people, and that is especially true with family members because they know how to hurt you the most.

[wolfgangmo]

55. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Words cannot hurt you without your permission.

[wolfgangmo]

54. I like this answer.

The best resort is loud ridicule of their IDEAS (lame as they are).

Don't get into discussing details. Just laugh at their ideas and say something simple like "that's ridiculous."

They try to get you angry BECAUSE they have gotten you angry in the past.

[no_hypocrisy]

18. I totally empathize with you.

Had dinner with my father, an 87 year old retired doctor. He said he wholly supports the doctor in Alan Grayson's district in Florida who has "discouraged" patients who have supported and/or still support Obama. He said that doctors have the prerogative to refuse to treat anybody, even wholesale, they choose. And then he called Alan Grayson "crazy". My food was indigestible from that point forward. He continued to say that the network media is biased. (You'd think we'd have common ground on this point.) And the cable news "lies" too, except for FOX News. And how psychotic Keith Olbermann is. I tried to find the humor in the outrageous freeper-like statements, but I couldn't. And I still can't. It isn't funny. And it can't be shrugged off and forgotten.

I wish I could give you 2 or 3 "good" comebacks for your family, but unfortunately for me, I can't come up with what I could have said without being written out of the Will or never seeing my father again.

[Gman2]

21. Rhetorically, I destroy them. But, I am the bad ,man. I am progressive., And am told to stop causing

trouble.

[no_hypocrisy]

39. Sigh * * * I USED TO do that. Didn't get me anywhere and seemed more like

self-gratification at the end of it all.

I miss the one-sided debate at times.

[lunatica]

19. About 15 years ago I announced I was through with all holidays

I told everyone that the rampant commercialism had finally convinced me that all holidays are just another money maker for corporations and that I wasn't playing that game anymore. That I would no longer celebrate or go to any holiday functions, or birthdays or any other Fill-in-the-Blank Day celebration of any kind. I blamed commercialism because there's no sense in blaming everyone in the family.

And I kept my word. To this day I've saved myself a small fortune not getting anyone any presents ever or going through the obligatory family function which always ended up with everyone being miserable. I've save myself countless hours of distress and anxiety too. Strangely enough when I did that so did my entire family. Turns out everyone hated it. And to this day I don't care if the family falls apart. Why keep misery alive when everyone is better off without it and the only thing holding everyone together is guilt which more often than not manifests as blaming everyone else except themselves for how they feel.

[csziggy]

42. My family did that in 2000 and it has been great

We still get together around "holiday" time since that is when people have time off from work or school. Sometimes some of us will have seen things that made us think of family members and give those to them. My sister that is a yard sale & thrift store fanatic gives more than the rest of us, but she spends less.

Nobody feels pressure to "have" to get presents or figure out what people we don't see often enough might like. We just enjoy visiting as often as we can and keeping in touch at least once or twice a year.

On the other hand, my hubbies' family is still into gifts. At least they cut the number back - everybody draws one name. But I don't have a clue what most of them are into and they certainly do not know (or care to know) what my interests are. I tried giving gift certificates, hoping they would take the hint, but they just keep giving me crap I don't want or need. So I will now look for cheap crap to give back to them - I am tired of trying to find quality things for them only to find out later they hated it.

[rurallib]

20. I quit going to those kind of things years ago

and never hear from them either. Done me a world of good.

[Warpy]

22. Plead ill health and stay home.

The only alternative to that is to get up and leave the second they start to rant. You can plead disgust at that point.

Nobody gets to use you as a verbal punching bag without your permission. It's time to withdraw that permission in no uncertain terms.

Tell them you'll be back if they ever decide to rediscover their humanity.

[stevedeshazer]

23. Breathe deeply. Meditate in your own way before you enter the space.

Remember, no matter what happens, you are right. Don't engage them if they try this tactic. Change the subject and talk about family.

That worked for me yesterday at my mom's funeral and wake.

I know how difficult it is, but always take the high road. If you are insulted, don't lash out. When you go home, you'll be much relieved that you did the right thing.

Good luck.

[Tsiyu]

65. +1

Great Advice

And sorry to hear about your Mom :hug:

[grasswire]

24. remember, you have 157,000 DUers watching your back

keep that in mind. You're not alone.

[Gman2]

27. I meant you.

[DeschutesRiver]

25. I don't understand - why would you even consider going in the first place?

What am I missing? I am estranged from my family, haven't been to a family gathering for decades now. Actually, I am not certain they even have gatherings any more, except for my inviting my brother (who is always angling to be on their good side no matter what shit is shoveled in heaps upon him, in order to stay in their will).

It was not good situation for me to be around, and believe me, for many years I tried very hard to find a balance. But it was so detrimental to my well being to be around such nonstop toxic behavior that I made the decision to eliminate it from my life. If my family wished to learn self control and seek to be the kind of people that others (including me) would enjoy spending time with, then I planned to resume going. I had to leave it up to them to decide if they wished to step out of the toxicity or stay in that frame of mind.

I am an older woman now, and the family's choice was to stay in that negative mental place. They are unhappy, bitter, negative people for the most part. My parent are in their 80s now, with years of unhappiness for no good reason behind them, and doing their utmost to spend their end days in the same toxic manner. It is horrifying to me now that I am older to imagine that many years spent in such bitterness and angry unhappiness by choice. It was't because life really doled out some incredibly bad blows to them, from which they never recovered, not at all. They started out negative, and allowed it to grow like a disease until it consumed all the days given to them to live on this earth, to the exclusion of anything good they could have let come into their lives.

Every day I am thankful that I got away from spending time with people so consumed by such things that they cared not a bit for what it did to me to be on the receiving end. I mean, if your family cared about you in a meaningful way, they wouldn't do this to you. You wouldn't do this to people about whom you cared deeply, would you? It is dysfunction, and though we'd like to think it can be cured, sometimes it cannot be fixed even in one person's lifetime. And you only get that one lifetime yourself - for goodness sake, don't waste another moment of it in distress over this thing you cannot change about your family, or in the presence of people who are most comfortable when they are making you feel bad.

[Gman2]

26. Thank you so much.

[DeschutesRiver]

45. I hope you can find a way to resolve this complicated issue

All I can offer is understanding of what a bad place it is to be in, and my best wishes to you in finding a way to keep your troubled heart healthy, without breaking your heart in the process.

Take care, Gman2 and good luck.

[Individualist]

28. From one heart failure patient to another - don't subject yourself to unnecessary stress.

My only "family" is my reich wing brother, his wife and their daughter who lives away from here. After attempting to get along with these cold, selfish people, I finally decided enough. That was several years ago, and holidays are much more enjoyable now. Today I'll have an enjoyable Easter dinner with caring friends who include me as part of their family.

[NJmaverick]

Remind your sister of what the holiday is all about

remind her of Luke 6:20

Then Jesus looked at his disciples and said, "How blessed are you who are destitute, because the kingdom of God is yours!

[Gman2]

31. Sorry, too Calvinist for that.

[NJmaverick]

sorry, it's a tough situation

:hug:

[wolfgangmo]

57. So tell the women to shut up when a man is in the room and...

to put their bonnets back on.

[get the red out]

29. Stay home

Don't be their hostage liberal they get the pleasure of attacking. They are not fulfilling their "family values" by doing that to you. So you do not owe them a punching bag.

[tango-tee]

30. If you already have heart trouble, please don't go to that dinner.

There is no reason to go there for a holiday dinner, if you know in advance it will be a disaster. Stay home and be good to yourself. Do something enjoyable.

Sending you best wishes for a peaceful day, Gman2!

[bridgit]

32. Seen a van with a collection of mag signs that together said: "Bend Over America...

Time To Bring Bush Back - GoAwayObama!!" just rolling down the causeway just outside Davis, I tapped my husband on the shoulder, he read them and said,

"Wish we didn't use this car so much. I'd tap that shit-head's bumper on the corner and roll his dumb-ass into a ditch"

[Gman2]

33. And that is the porblem, baggers have been told their behaviour is inspired.

[Mz Pip]

34. Not too much to add to

what has already been stated.

I don't have much family. I had to cut ties with what was left of my mom's side of the family after finally being pushed over the edge by the endless stream of racist, homophobic, Sarah lovin' rants following Obama's election. I don't regret it. I know my blood pressure went up every time I opened one of cousin Elaine's emails.

The other side of the family is conservative, too, but not teabaggery nuts. I never feel like I am being insulted or attacked for my liberal views. we actually get along quite well, though we rarely see each other since we live in different states.

The family bond is often a reason we put up with a whole lot more shit then we need to. I figured that just sharing some common DNA wasn't worth the aggravation.

[PCIntern]

35. Do what I do...

Say: "That is the most ridiculous thing you've said...except for everything else you have ever said."

Goes over big...leaves most of these RWers stuttering.

[Gman2]

36. Just feeling part of a community helps. You guys are tops.

[Missy Vixen]

37. I hope you didn't go

We "called in sick". I can anticipate many more of these "illnesses" in the future.

I also hope you spent some time today somewhere you enjoy, with people you love.

[Gman2]

38. I am going, but, I am wearing DU armor. I will respond, for the last time.

Keep your petty hateful ugliness to yourself. Go to hell. If, they have the guts to again call the ill,poor minorities as parasites. I will not fear, nor will I dread. I am a monster.

[KILL THE WISE ONE]

44. another choice maybe insist on saying grace

then after the usual, ask God to help with .... incert your points here ..... sit back and watch

[Gman2]

59. Teabaggers usually are religious, or at least hypocritical.

[FLyellowdog]

41. This probably won't help, but

I like it anyway..simply say

"I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said." Then go on and eat tehir food, smile and say thank you, and leave.

Sorry you have to endure this pain. We have too many idiots in this country. :hi:

[AnArmyVeteran]

46. They are toxic, stay away...

Would you go bath in a toxic waste dump? Then why subject your emotional well being to being bathed in that right wing, soulless banter? Cut them out of your life. There are too many good people in this world than to associate with tea bagging pessimists and abusers.

I disowned my older brother and older sister because they are both abusive, toxic tea bagging conservatives. They hate the poor and believe wealthy people are god's chosen ones. They are both extremely toxic and I will not subject myself to their constant hatespeech. BTW, I took care of my dying mom, dad and little brother, while they did NOTHING. They stayed away and did nothing to help. They are selfish, racist, hatemongers who are void of empathy or compassion.

Stay away from the evil in your family.

[seabeyond]

47. this is easter. christ died for our sins. not a time to be ugly. lets not. .....

simple really....

[AnArmyVeteran]

49. You could tell them their right wing radio heroes all violate the 10 Commandments every day.

You could tell them their radio heroes all make their fortunes by 'BEARING FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THEIR NEIGHBORS', because all those right wing tea bagging morons on talk radio do is lie about others. They lie about data. They lie about events. They lie about people. They market hatred, racism, anger, fear and rage, and just by the reaction from your sisters (if you told them this) it would confirm every word I just wrote.

[EFerrari]

50. I hope everything went okay for you, Gman2.

I solved this long ago by taking a position and then, not subjecting me or anyone else to unfortunate social gatherings. I don't want to ruin anyone's holiday and I won't have them ruin mine.

Take good care of yourself. :hug:

[aikoaiko]

51. This is what a xanax-valium-miller lite cocktail is for.

:)

I keed. Sort of.

[KonaKane]

56. Don't go. I don't take that shit from my family either.

Being connected by genes is not an excuse to treat you like dirt. Never has been, never will be.

[Gman2]

58. Well, only digs at Dems were spoken. Those are easy.

I guess I am a little wound up what with all the teaviolence and all.

[nenagh]

60. Glad you are back and OK ...

[Gman2]

61. You guys all kick ass. I have never had a likeminded group. I like it.

[Mojeoux]

64. Glad you got thru it......When you lose your temper, you lose the argument.

I sure wish I would have had this revelation earlier in my life.

All those screaming teabuggers need to figure that out.

[guitar man]

62. Don't smack anybody

Just do what I do when my fundie in laws piss me off , fart in their general direction :D

"don't break bad, break wind" :evilgrin:

[Skittles]

63. why put up with them at all?

I mean really, is it worth it?