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http://gawker.com/5517687/bill-oreilly-is-still-a-lying-sack-of-shitBill O’Reilly is Still a Lying Sack of Shit
He's still fuming over Tom Coburn calling Nancy Pelosi a "nice lady." But O'Reilly is really mad about Coburn's claim that Fox News says that people who don't pay for health insurance would go to jail. "Nobody's ever said it."
Coburn told an Oklahoma town hall meeting that "the intention is not to put anybody in jail. That makes for good TV news on FOX but that isn't the intention." O'Reilly took issue with that, saying, "we researched on Fox News if anybody had ever said you're going to jail if you don't buy health insurance. Nobody's ever said it."
So Time magazine's swampland blog did a search of Fox News' transcripts and found several instances on the network where everyone from Glenn Beck (surprise!) to Sean Hannity (bigger surprise!) has claimed insurance evaders will face time in Obamacare gulags. Here are just a few examples: ....
You may want to hire some new fact-checkers, Bill.
http://gawker.com/5517531/some-advice-for-the-tea-party-crashersSome Advice For the Tea Party Crashers
.... Crashtheteaparty.org is a website set up to encourage Liberals to infiltrate Tea Party events and "exaggerate their least appealing qualities." Conservative blogger Ann Althouse—who recently forgave black and gay legislators for having had slurs hurled at them—gave advice to Tea Partiers on how to defend tomorrow's Tax Day events against the nefarious "liberal activists." So, it's only fair that we give advice to the crashers. Here we go!
Signs: Signs are a very important part the tea party movement. You will need very large signs to carry around or you will be instantly spotted as an impostor. If possible, carry three or four signs, and then carry a child who is carrying their own, smaller signs. Of course, these signs must be stylistically consistent with tea party signs. We know that many of you liberal elitists are familiar with such graphic design programs as Photoshop. Do not use them to design your signs! Tea Party signs are almost universally stenciled in blue pen or scrawled in Magic Marker on bright yellow poster board. At the most, they use those sticky letters you can buy to put on your mail boxes. Correct spelling and grammar are key: Don't use them. You should consult our illustrated guide to Teabonics for many examples. ....
Guns: If you are planning on crashing a tea party event, be aware that many people will probably have guns. If you don't want to be shot, you should also bring your gun. If everyone has a gun then no one will be shot. That's how it works, right Teabaggers?
Race: You should be white and male. If you are not white and male, be black, but constantly talk about how there are black conservatives, too. Really have a chip on your shoulder about that and people will leave you alone. Who knows, you might even end up as a Fox News commentator.
Puns: The tea party is perhaps America's first pun-based social movement. They love puns! You should have an arsenal of anti-government, anti-Obama puns to deploy at a moment's notice. Some suggestions: Commander in Thief; Nobama; Obama Bin Laden; Quit Stalin; Release the Baracken; Joe Biden His Time Until He Can Make America a Socialist Paradise; Nancy Pelosi? More like Nancy PeLOSER; etc., etc.
OK, go ruin those tea parties!
Send an email to Adrian Chen, the author of this post, at adrian@gawker.com.
http://gawker.com/5517786/andrea-peyser-joins-the-tea-partyAndrea Peyser Joins the Tea Party
Demonic tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser went out to investigate these "Tea Partiers," and guess what: "They're not your father's rednecks." Um, okay? Instead, they're "The majority." But rednecks were the majority in my father's day! What?
Andrea attributes this whole Tea Party thing to citizens "Disgusted by massive government bailouts and skyrocketing taxes." Which is actually not factual! Anyhow, "Insanely, lefty Hollywood has joined the increasingly fringe Pulitzer Prize committee to gang up on party animals." So... that's an important issue, for these...party animals. Then Andrea finds a black man in the Tea Party, which is significant because,
you know.Later Andrea calls Oprah a "big, fat phony" lesbo. That's the Andrea we know and love! Never allow politics to lure you away from us again, Andrea.
Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.
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