|
what goes on in this country and the world?
The enormity and complexity of the problems we face today can seem insurmountable and an observer, even one who crosses the line from observer to activist, can feel hopeless and helpless to affect any change. So, they retreat to their own personal bubbles, some allowing in just enough to feel engaged and others simply accepting what they are told without any further thought and scrutiny.
These are the metaphorical "sheep".
Often I feel the things I'm seeing and hearing and learning about the way things really are outside my own circle of friends and family, are so overwhelming, and I see others in my life happily ignorant, even in the face of hardship and job loss, that I just want to throw my arms up and say "Fuck it!", followed shortly thereafter by a pile of computer, teevee, and cell phone wreckage below my second floor window, and aggressively retreating from the world.
Everyday I am filled by any number of negative emotions from my observations of the world. And it's so intense I feel like crying but I don't, until I personally witness or see a post or video of something that makes me so happy and so hopeful, if only in that brief moment, I am so overwhelmed that I burst into tears that it could always be so.
I am anticipating such a happy and hopeful moment. As I type, my step-daughter, who calls me "Daddy" and whom I call "daughter" and who is 23, is on her way to the hospital, accompanied by her mother, to have her first child and my second grandson. She is not in labor at the moment. They will begin the process of induction at 5pm and then we'll wait.
And as I wait, I will wonder what that little boy's life will be like growing up in this country and in this world. And I will think of my two grand-daughters and my other grandson, who are all just over 1 year in age. And I will fight back this overwhelming feeling of dread, manifested by my knowledge of the realities of this world, and I will try to be strong. Until I look into the face of that newborn child and, once again, burst into tears of sadness and joy.
Then, I will take a deep breath. And I will get back to work. And I will counsel my grandchildren as they grow up into this very dysfunctional country and world. And I will do all I can to make it better for them.
Thank you for reading...
This post dedicated to Larry Wayne, III who will be along shortly...
|