Today I divorced my wife, tried to seduce my neighbor's llama,

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

and then tried to convince three women to marry me at the same time.

Thanks, Judge Walker. I never would have done such things in the past--never even contemplated them (they're really rather disgusting), but now that you've legitimized these actions, how could I resist?

Don't you see, as an American, when I have a freedom, I MUST exercise it. I MUST. I believe it's in the Constitution or something. Or perhaps it's part of the DNA sequencing of Americans. The right to do something means an absolute obligation to exercise that very right.

I don't even like llamas.

[joeybee12]

1. And, of course, you can't be held responsible for your actions...

...liberal activits judges MAKE you do bad things.

[Renew Deal]

2. You don't need to leave your wife to do that other stuff

:shrug:

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

3. Was the llama provocatively dressed?

[Wednesdays]

42. Was the llama above the age of consent?

Is what I wanna know.

[Evasporque]

4. Tried??...dude I had no problem...the llama is slut!! nt

[Evasporque]

5. Hide your llamas! Hide your guanaco!

Hide your Alpaca too cause teh gehy's rapin' errbody heh!



sexy hot quanaco!!

[mitchtv]

7. Vicunas are easy

[badgerpup]

36. Alpaca females are pregnant most of the time...

50 weeks out of 52 if I remember my data from that special I saw on them...

Wait a minute...:blush:
that was vicuna (don't know how to make the little tilde thingy work...but it's pronounced vi-cun-ya) females spend most of their time knocked up.
Two weeks off while they give birth and then go into estrus for their next calf/foal/cub/rugrat (or whatever their young are called).

Carry on...

:crazy:

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

6. Or as I call it, a regular Tuesday afternoon. nt

[mikeytherat]

8. llamas!

mikey_the_rat

[Booster]

9. Hell, if someone wants to marry a Llama, then let 'em.

[AnArmyVeteran]

29. Why not, conservatives have been inbreeding with farm animals for generations.

What else could explain the right wing mutants that are springing up everywhere?

[alc]

10. I think we know Newt's DU name (ithinkmyliverhurts)

Guess you wanted to confess now so it doesn't come out in the 2012 primaries. The other things wouldn't be a big deal, but the llama could take the fundies some getting used to :)

[Hugabear]

11. Beastiality is so 2000s. Necrophilia is where it's at

In fact, tonight I plan on digging up some freshly buried corpses and hauling them down to the court tomorrow so I can get married.

[kestrel91316]

20. ROFLMAO X 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

[awoke_in_2003]

34. you gonna

drop in for a cold one :hide:

[Alcibiades]

35. Necrophilia is also passe

But Necro-bestial anal butt sex? The wave of the future.

[badgerpup]

37. Now THAT'S what I call a codpiece!

A big, ugly, pointless stupid one...but a codpiece, nonetheless.


As subtle as a couple pairs of socks stuffed into a flightsuit...
:spank:

[Alcibiades]

48. Everyone else calls it the Cuttlefish of Cthulhu

It's a fully detachable alien penis. It's not pointless: it's art.

GWAR's not going for subtlety.

[pinboy3niner]

38. Hey, those goddamn Lib'rul judges have opened the floodgates

Conservatives will take that "slippery slope' far, indeed.

I think you may be giving them ideas. :)

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

47. I just vomited in my mouth.

Thanks for that.

[Sal Minella]

12. What a great thread. Yes this is a "So I Can Find It Later" post! n/t

[Nite Owl]

13. Yes, you have the freedom to

hate llamas but they do produce beautiful yarn. I hope you didn't inhibit the growth of her coat, that would shameful.

[Ignis]

14. ¡CUIDADO! ¡LLAMA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbwkkXGmFrI

[SharonAnn]

30. Cue to "the llama song"! See link below!

Cue to "The llama Song"

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

[Ignis]

44. I love The Llama Song! It's right up there with Badgers!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers

[LibertyLover]

15. Damn that Ralph the Wonder Llama!

(a tip of the hat to Monty Python's Holy Grail).

[Jazzgirl]

16. Aren't llamas kinda stinky??

Just sayin'..... :evilgrin:

[SayitAintSo]

24. Oh Yea... and they are spitters too!

talk about really stinky ....yech.....

[closeupready]

17. LOL

:rofl: :hi:

[Uben]

18. I hope it wasn't a real llama

You should practice on a stuffed one first.....you know, like a Dolly llama!

[pokerfan]

40. That's baa, baa, baa, bad

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. I hope you didn't give your phone # to the llama.

They have a habit of prank calling people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFOBlAX-W3g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlzHtmw4Mvs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1rLSmuWKdE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgMdn5NwQJw

[MajorChode]

21. I've got a couple of hot box-turtles I can turn you on to

[Contrary1]

22. I just need to know one thing before I render judgement...

Did you list your activities in the order which they happened?

[tanyev]

23. The llama was having none of it, huh?

[struggle4progress]

25. I was gettin ready to marry my dog. Then I realized

I don't have a dog

:(

[onpatrol98]

33. Man Marries Dog

That's been done, already!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1569248/Indian-man-marries-dog.html

[Canuckistanian]

26. Have you joined NAMLLA yet?

The North American Man-Llama Love Association?

Meetings are every Tuesday, out behind my barn.

Casual dress.

[JBoy]

27. Shama llama llama ding dong!

[Warren DeMontague]

39. llama, llama

you sexy mama!

[CoffeeCat]

28. Was the llama named Kuzco?

I think the three of us would make a wonderful pair.

[WCGreen]

31. Everyone has to have their daily Llamas....

[pinboy3niner]

32. ROFL!

The sad thing is that you've captured the actual arguments some on the Right are making.

On request--but only on request--I can post here some of the comments made at Faux Nooze. I think you've got them to a T.

[Wednesdays]

41. Shoot, why stop at llamas and dogs...

Let's go for inanimate objects!

[BrklynLiberal]

43. I thought you were announcing that you were becoming a repuke.

[Permanut]

45. I want to marry a corporation

They're people, right? Or maybe I can do all of the above; I'll check with my wife.

[Sal Minella]

49. And some corporations have monstrous boobs, too.

[BillStein]

46. llamas are Latinos

Did you make sure yours was here legally?