Can I marry my dildo now?

[lunatica]

We've been in love for a long time.

[Angry Dragon]

1. There you go putting pictures in my head

Make sure it is at least 18

[AnArmyVeteran]

39. The pictures aren't coming from the OP, you have XXX pics all over your desktop!

[Angry Dragon]

42. Who put then there??

[damntexdem]

2. No, your dildo is just using you as a means to stay in the U.S.

Come on, admit that it's imported!

;-)

[JuniperLea]

4. Bwaaahahahhaha!!

[lunatica]

6. Zee furren accent is what got me in the first place

[blondeatlast]

37. Trifecta!

:rofl:

[CTyankee]

3. Fine by me. May you have a long and wonderful life together! nt

[derby378]

5. IBTL!

:rofl:

[dogday]

8. +1

:rofl:

[lunatica]

9. But the fundies are telling us that we'll all marry dogs and stuff

But why not marry sex objects too?

[derby378]

13. Is it going to wear a little bowtie and top hat at the ceremony?

And when the officiator says, "You may now..."

I can't do this. I'd better shut up before I really get in trouble! :rofl:

[Jackpine Radical]

19. I've always wanted to be a sex object.

[BillStein]

55. it's highly overrated

[WillyT]

66. LOL !!!

I hear ya man...

:evilgrin:

[texastoast]

20. I want to marry my old armoire

We've been together a long time and are very comfortable with each other.

Will the fundies let me marry my furniture?

[AnArmyVeteran]

40. Do you pine for it while you're away?

:rofl:

[texastoast]

44. Oh,

Wood that we could be together.

:hide:

[AnArmyVeteran]

47. Morning 'wood'? :)

:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:

[texastoast]

50. I think it best

That we put a cork in this line of discussion or we'll get deleted for being just too darned sexy.

:rofl:

[AnArmyVeteran]

51. I, of course, was talking about furniture in the morning :)

There's nothing nicer than looking at my furniture in the morning. No particle board stuff at my place!

:rofl:

:rofl:

[Jackpine Radical]

61. I just figured out what Norwegian Wood was all about.

[AnArmyVeteran]

62. I never realized that about Norwegian Wood

Come to think of it, it all makes sense now. Thank you!

Songwriters: Mccartney, Paul;Lennon, John

Norwegian Wood lyrics
I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me.
She showed me her room, isn't it good, norwegian wood?
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere,
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.
I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine.
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed."
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath.
And when I awoke I was alone, this bird had flown.
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, norwegian wood.

What was the other link?

[WheelWalker]

67. Really?

[proteus_lives]

7. Sure.

Just remember to love, honor and provide batteries.

[BillStein]

56. love, honor and obey

until the batteries run out?

[tularetom]

10. See I knew it would be a slippery slope

Next thing you know somebody will want to marry their cucumber.

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. I am fond a frog who told me...

If I married him I could kiss him, and he might turn into a prince...

[JoePhilly]

16. Sticky too ...

:hide:

[spanone]

11. i'd get a prenup.

[Turbineguy]

12. Would that be kind of like

marrying a republican?

[madinmaryland]

15. I hear that will lead to some good vibes!!

:D

[MilesColtrane]

17. I feel like such a bigamist.

I have two hands.

[Stinky The Clown]

18. Only if I can marry my hand

[JoePhilly]

21. Can it open stuck jars and kill bugs??

Carry heavy things? Build a deck? Burp on command? Grow hair on it's back?

Oooops ... not helping my cause anymore .... $%#@$#$!!!

My theory is that at some point, women will take over, and put men into sperm farms.

I've been to the gym. I see what "we men" look like. Far too many stinky hairy knuckle-draggers. I have trouble believing women sleep with any of us.

Women tend to have smooth skin, far less hair, they definitely smell better ... it is only a matter of time until they enslave men and marry each other.

[lunatica]

22. Really I have no ulterior motives

I just want to know if I can marry my dildo now that all is lost.

[JoePhilly]

24. Yea, yea ... my wife says that ...

I'm not sure I believe her either ...

[progressoid]

53. How about reducing cavities?

... :eyes:

http://thereifixedit.com/2009/07/17/epic-kludge-photo-electric-toothbrush/

[louis-t]

23. Jeez, I spit coffee all over.

[Ruby the Liberal]

25. Till dead batteries do you part

:toast:

[Cassandra]

27. Mine is rechargeable...

which is more than some men I can think of.

[AnArmyVeteran]

41. LOLOL!!! :)

[Cassandra]

54. ;-)

[Manifestor_of_Light]

68. Go for 110 straight from the wall!!

:toast:

[DailyGrind51]

26. Hey, if it's the best you can do, knock yourself out!

[MiniMe]

28. That could lead to dildo/human hybrids

:hide:

[derby378]

48. Dilberts?

[AnArmyVeteran]

29. As long as it's a moving one (like vibrating)

It has to show some sign of life!

[AnArmyVeteran]

30. Can I come to the 'wedding'?

I'm a minister and I'd be glad to perform the ceremony.

Really, I'm a minister of the Universal Life Church. I paid $3 and they sent me my credentials. It's recognized in all 50 states. Prices are negotiable.

[mikeytherat]

65. I think we'll all come at that wedding. To. I mean "to!"

:hide:

mikey_the_rat

[Name removed]

31. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ikonoklast]

35. As if you know anything about the subject.

[lonestarnot]

32. To each his fucking own.

:toast:

[pokerfan]

33. It depends

on your state's penal code.

:hide:

[blondeatlast]

38. Ouch.

That was punny!

[Canuckistanian]

34. I'm sure there will be a Facebook page soon

If not, you can start one.

[Obamanaut]

36. With the divorce rate at around 50%, you stand a good chance of losing

half your stuff if you separate.

[mysuzuki2]

43. Yay!

Now I can marry my golden retriever, Duffy. He doesn't spend my money, snore or hog the blankets at night. It should be a better marriage than the last one.

[johnaries]

45. I keep saying, the better I understand women

the more I love my dog.

But not in THAT way!

Thank the Universe for internet porn!

[david13]

46. If you want. Consent of the dildo not needed. dc

[racaulk]

49. ***This thread is useless without pics!!!***

:rofl:

[lumberjack_jeff]

52. Don't surrender to the dildo-archy.

Unless you keep your maiden name.

[cbdo2007]

57. Most relationships with dildos are one-sided.

How do you think the poor dildo feels about all this?!?!?

[ChoppinBroccoli]

58. Why Not? Laura Bush Married One

I would have put Rush Limbaugh's wife's name in there, but dildos usually provide the woman with some measure of pleasure. I'm sure she's hating her life right about now.

[boomerbust]

59. Not at this time

Not until I see video of you and said dildo to ensure compatability.:evilgrin:

[intaglio]

60. Robots ... what about the robots??

They're not just Republican voters, you know.

Possibly NSFW Bjork - All is Full of Love

[Rex]

63. Why? It will just lose battery power and move on to other batteries

after swearing allegiance to the Energizer Bunny.

[asdjrocky]

64. At least a couple of my ex wives will tell you that they did. nt