GOP Blocks Shelter Funding - Cites 'Undocumented Animals'

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

http://thedesperateblogger.com/2010/08/gop-blocks-shelter-funding-cites-undocumented-animals/

Senate Republicans last Friday blocked a vote on legislation that would have provided hundreds of millions of dollars in aid to the nation's beleaguered animal shelters. The vote, little observed amidst an unprecedented flurry of activity precipitated by the pending August recess, was 59 to 41 -- split evenly along party lines as has become the norm.

Republicans opposing the plan point to the fact that the vast majority of animals found in shelters have no papers verifying their origin or whether or not they are in the United States legitimately.

"Most of the animals we're talking about here aren't even American," according to Sen. Jeff Sessions (R.-AL). "You go into any one of these shelters and what do you see? I'll tell you what you see -- you see German Shepherds, French Bulldogs, Irish Setters, Siamese cats, Persian cats -- heck, Iran's trying to develop nuclear weapons and were supposed to use taxpayer dollars to support Persian cats that may not even be in this country legally? I also understand that in California, these facilities are so overrun with Chihuahuas that they have to ship many of them off to other states. And as far as I know, the only Chihuahua that ever paid taxes in this country stopped working for Taco Bell a few years ago."

M. Eileen O'Sullivan, who leads a New York City-based coalition of ‘no-kill’ shelters, lamented the vote, telling reporters, "the struggling economy has dealt a double blow to shelters -- not only are donations down, but many otherwise loving owners who can no longer afford to feed their pets are leaving them at shelters in the hope that a good home can be found for them."

Sen. John McCain (R.-AZ), demonstrating the fact that he either continues to move further and further right to stave off a stiff primary challenge from hypocritical sportscaster-turned-infomercial shill J.D. Hayworth, or has finally just ‘lost it’, told reporters, "I thought I had made my position on the matter abundantly clear, but let me just state once again -- if they don't have papers, they should be euthanized, period. Not only will taxpayers save billions of dollars, but countless others will be deterred from following in their footsteps. This entire phenomenon some would call 'backyard breeding' is slowly bleeding this country dry and has to be stopped by any means necessary."

When asked about the millions of pets rescued every year who are adopted and not only find loving homes, but also bring joy and happiness to millions, Senator McCain replied, "Oh, you meant the animal shelter bill? I thought we were talking about immigration reform."

[damntexdem]

1. Very funny,

But I believe that the GOP would actually do this. Let's face it: parody and satire just cannot survive in a world that contains the current GOP.

[SPedigrees]

2. That's the scarey part, doing this would not be beneath them.

A party that blocks extending benefits to unemployed humans would have no qualms about obstructing funds for homeless animals.
Black humor with a grain of truth...

[JonLP24]

3. Sessions

Comment is so laughable it seems so much like a joke but considering it is Sessions, I know he is serious. McCain's comment just makes sad.

[Mac1949]

4. This may be satire, but Republicans really do feel like this.

Remember how, under Bush2, the national zoo had to redo all the information boards on the displays so they showed the cooking times?:evilgrin:

[JonLP24]

5. Now I'm embarrased

I saw the username, clicked the link, and still thought that it was true. I clicked on the Breitbart Cosby link and that was obvious satire. Man was I fooled. :blush:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

6. Don't be embarrassed...

... From my end, it get's really frustrating trying to go blatantly 'over the top' about people who refer to the money set aside for victims of the BP oil spill and (potentially for) sick 9/11 First Responders "slush funds"...

[Mac1949]

Absolutely do not be embarrassed.

Republicans are basically self-satirizing, which makes them difficult for others to satirize. To have believed this at first (as did I, by the way) simply means that you have grasped the essence of the Republican party- that you shouldn't put anything past them.:toast: :hi:

[Mac1949]

8. Delete. Duplicate post.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

7. What's even scarier...

is that compared to what they're doing now, even HE'S looking better & better...