Al Qaeda Secretly Funding US Anti-Islam Protests

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(SATIRE)

United States intelligence officials this afternoon announced the revelation that many, if not all, of the recent and planned protests against the building of mosques and Islamic community centers as well as other anti-Islam demonstrations in the US are, in fact, part of a worldwide effort on the part of Al Qaeda to recruit new terrorists to Jihad.

According to a Department of Homeland Security spokesman, “We have obtained reliable intelligence indicating that Al Qaeda and their operatives are responsible for the funding, planning, and carrying out of public protests conducted by gullible, unsuspecting United States citizens for the express purpose of gaining international publicity that will incite certain individuals to volunteer and participate in ‘Holy Jihad’ against the United States, our citizens, and our allies.”

According to Michael Scheuer, former head of the CIA’s ‘Alec Station’, the unit tasked with tracking Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants which was disbanded in 2006 (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/04/washington/04intel.html?_r=1), this revelation should not really come as a major surprise. This morning, Scheuer told reporters, “At this point I think it’s safe to say that Al Qaeda probably has more operatives in the United States than they do in Afghanistan.”

“I’m sure they’re taking a close look at this Terry Jones character in Florida,” surmised Bridget Duncan, Professor of Middle East Policy at Occidental University. “Red flags are one thing, but any so-called ‘pastor’ planning Koran burnings and publishing books with titles like “Islam is of The Devil”(http://www.myfoxny.com/dpps/news/florida-church-to-burn-copies-of-koran-to-mark-9-11-dpgonc-20100730-gc_8937270), it would seem, is practically begging to be scrutinized by our security agencies as a potential terrorist operative.”

“Instigation and agitation by agent provocateurs is certainly nothing new,” said anti-terrorism expert Srinivas Muktevi. “If all it costs Al Qaeda to get 100 or more Americans protesting against Islam in any form to be shown on every major news network including Al Jazeera is the price of buying some ignorant redneck a six pack of beer, a dozen pieces of poster board, and three or four ‘Sharpies’, then from a recruiting standpoint they’re getting one hell of a bang for the buck– if you’ll pardon the expression.”

Muktevi, author of the Pulitzer prize-winning book, The Pacifist Terrorist, advises the public to remain vigilant. “We must all bear in mind that anyone who encourages us to participate in any sort of extreme activity, such as an anti-Islam or anti-mosque protest demonstration, could potentially be an Al Qaeda operative.”

[Arctic Dave]

1. Make sense. Al Qaeda/Fox News, they both hate America.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

6. hmnn...

and Fox News is running with the 'Ground Zero' Mosque big-time...

So.. is Glenn Beck al Qaeda, Taliban, or ISI??

[RandomThoughts]

2. What!!!!!!!!

They buy people beer! I didn't know that. LOL

On a side note, I think beer is against the Koran, according to the movie 13th warrior. Although mead is honey beer acording to that movie, but it would be funny for somone to think so literally. That story rings of more once again, story telling. Although I would agree that many foreign companies including Dubai and Suadi want to run America media and companies, and not for any benifit for Americans, but more for the social club of a few people. Not far off of Alquieda either.





LOL, meanwhile nobody has bought be beer. LOL that is so funny.

Those people protesting this or that getting paid to do it. Although I wouldn't post or protest for money.

:rofl:

There is such humor in that.

Did they hire Joe Six Pack also?




I though Bloomberg got it right, and was actually impressed.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

4. Going to strip clubs is against the Koran too...

but that didn't stop some of the 9/11 hijackers...

It's so hard to get good help these days!

[RandomThoughts]

3. What!!!!!!!!

They buy people beer! I didn't know that. LOL

On a side note, I think beer is against the Koran, according to the movie 13th warrior. Although mead is honey beer acording to that movie, but it would be funny for somone to think so literally. That story rings of more, once again, story telling. Although I would agree that many foreign companies including Dubai and Suadi want to run America media and companies, and not for any benifit for Americans, but more for the social club of a few people. Not far off of Alquieda either.





LOL, meanwhile nobody has bought be beer. LOL that is so funny.

Those people protesting this or that getting paid to do it. Although I wouldn't post or protest for money.

:rofl:

There is such humor in that.

Did they hire Joe Six Pack also?




I though Bloomberg got it right, and was actually impressed.

[leveymg]

5. In Czarist Russia, the head of the religious opposition and the chief terrorist bomber were both

on the payroll of the Imperial Secret Police, the Okhrana.

After the Bolshevik Revolution, many anti-communist White Russians were recruited by The Trust, a secret counter-revolutionary exile group, to return to Russia to overthrow the Soviets. The Trust was a front group run by the KGB.

Germany had numerous agents broadcasting from Britain during World War II. They worked for MI-6 Branch XX, "Double-cross".

Aleksandar Orlov, a ranking General in the Soviet KGB secretly defected to the US in 1934, and afterwards went on to be the agent-handler for Kim Philby and the Cambridge Five, a notorious group of Soviet spies unmasked in Britain decades later. Throughout the Cold War, American intelligence knew that Philby and the others were spies for the Soviet Union, and the Russians also suspected they had been compromised, but British Intelligence promoted Philby and the others to head several departments of British intelligence.

Don't think these things can't happen except in the funny pages.