Conservative in Obama's America

[ThatPoetGuy]

I begin my day by prostrating a thousand times towards Mecca. I'm not a Muslim, but I follow Muslim practices because I don't want Obama's Youth Brigade to arrest me.

Stepping out my door, I see Jim, my next-door neighbor. I feel bad for Jim. He used to earn $754,000 a year after taxes, but since Bush's tax cuts expired, Jim only earns $737,000. This has crushed his will. He's less productive now, and deeply depressed.

Jim's mother died when a death panel decided not to pay for another facelift, and then the death tax meant that thousands of dollars were taxed out of her 2.4 million dollar estate. Jim was crushed.

Then Net Neutrality was passed, and Jim's telecommunications company was prohibited from censoring their competition. When Jim lost the freedom to conceal the truth from his customers, it's like he lost a little bit of his soul.

I greet Jim to cheer him up, with a politically correct shout of "Sieg heil, Comrade! And allahu akbar!" This is a Nazi Communist Muslim country now, after all.

It's a cold day, but even though it's cold, those "educated" idiots still believe in global warming.

There's a rumble, and looking up, I see them: the swarm. The press of bodies, as thousands of illegals stampede through the neighborhood, taking our jobs and our women.

I huddle down to protect myself against the crushing weight of Mexican laborers. My ribs still hurt from where Acorn and the New Black Panthers hit me with nightsticks me when I went to vote. They made me sign an oath that I would never vote for a white man.

Behind me, my house explodes. Then I hear diabolical laughter. Oh no! It's Bill Ayers!

But wait, I see a group of burly white men! Could I be saved? Could they be here to end the madness? And then I see their shirts: they're teamsters. All is lost!

I begin to weep. I weep for Jim, I weep for myself, I weep for humanity. Although I know the liberal media is always there, watching, I say a prayer under my breath: save us, Sarah!

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Please let me know if you think of any ways to improve this parody.

[JoePhilly]

1. Don't forget to mention how ...

Obama sent acorn to take away your guns ... then forced your wife to have an abortion performed by a gay OBGYN ... at which point they converted your kids to Islam, made you sing show tunes, and after making her watch, THAT's when they killed granny.

[ThatPoetGuy]

2. Oooohhh, NICE!

Thanks for the suggestions!

[joeybee12]

3. This is parody? I thought you cut and pasted from Free Republic!

:evilgrin: