Arne Duncan today announced a one billion dollar supplementary Race To The Top competition.
The winner will be the first state to have a teacher with extremely low test scores stoned to death. "This technique has been highly successful when used by the Taliban," said Duncan. "While we don't have data – for obvious reasons – we are guessing that test scores have improved in the areas of Afghanistan where this has been tried."
"Brilliant," proclaimed The Wall Street Journal.
Brent Stapes of the NY Times was more reserved. "While this is not a proven tactic to close the achievement gap, we feel the plan holds a lot of promise."
"Children First," proclaimed Joel Klein. Klein later rescinded when Duncan said New York City would be one of the cities allowed to compete. He said he would go along with the plan to allow the highest bidder to be the first to toss a stone but insisted clung to a Children Second program. Mayor Bloomberg offered to pick up the cost of the stones to give New York an edge.
AFT president Randi Weingarten was critical. "We don't feel this is productive. Teachers need a seat at the table and should be part of the process in choosing the teacher to be stoned." Weingarten made the point that the union had managed to convince the Obama administration to put a limit of one stoning a year. "Outrageous," said Leo Casey. "Incredibly, they wanted to stone 10 teachers. TEN!" he screeched. "But we stopped them in their tracks."
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